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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids playing outside at 9.40pm

125 replies

Jas5mum · 20/05/2022 21:44

Do you think its acceptable for primary school aged kids to be playing outside at this time of night??
My kids can't settle as they can hear them out there shouting and bouncing a basketball. They often kick the ball at my house and I have to tell them to move on. Why do their parents think its acceptable to be out there past 9pm?
They have 2 babies living next door, they also have a baby.
I let my kids in the garden from 10am until 7pm.

OP posts:
Philisophigal · 21/05/2022 06:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the user's request.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 21/05/2022 06:27

It's still light at 9.40. It's the weekend. Don't be a fun sponge!

cookiemonster2468 · 21/05/2022 06:41

I think everyone's views are different on when kids should go to bed...

... But if they are noisy and impacting the neighbours, parents should be more considerate.

StoppinBy · 21/05/2022 06:44

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 20/05/2022 22:50

I’d have been checking my DD’s temperature if she was in bed at 8-something aged 5!

Show quote history

Really?

My 9 year old and 5 year old go to bed at 7:30, get up round 7:30, without that sleep they are grumpy as anything.

On the weekend I would think it's ok for kids to stay up late if they cope with it. It would annoy me though if I am honest as it would interfere with my kids getting to sleep.

SouthOfHeaven · 21/05/2022 06:46

I think it’s fine, if you have neighbours then there will be some noise. They shouldn’t be kicking a ball at your house though obviously.

cansu · 21/05/2022 07:45

You are right 11 year old should be home by about 9. Many people let their kids do whatever and are then surprised when they get into trouble.

Upamountain43 · 21/05/2022 07:48

Your neighbours and their children can spend all night in their garden if they want to - its none of your business.

But making noise is - especially kicking a ball against your wall/fence - i would speak to the parents but in a nice way stating you love hearing the children play and its their garden but could certain noise stop a bit earlier.

Stopping them from doing something they obviously enjoy is not OK but asking them to limit the impact on you is.

When i was young and my children were young playing out until the street lights came on or even later in the holidays was one of our absolute joys and i have the fondest memories of it.

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 21/05/2022 07:52

@StoppinBy 7.30pm for your 9 year old?!

anyway. @Jas5mum why do you keep yours in until 10am? That seems very late to
me.

I don’t have a problem with kids playing at 9.40pm as long as they are safe, ie. In a garden not on the street.

These threads are reminders of the MN parallel universe. In case I ever think this is real life, a thread on laundry, not going to the cinema alone or kids in the garden pops up to remind me.

SallyWD · 21/05/2022 07:55

I suppose it's unusual for British kids but if you go abroad there are many countries where children play outside until much later.

User48751490 · 21/05/2022 08:00

My almost 5yo was sound asleep at 6.15pm yesterday. Been up since before 6am.

Nearly 7yo was asleep by 7pm. Both very early risers and couldn't cope playing out til 9pm.

lioncitygirl · 21/05/2022 08:02

😂 my 6/8 year old are in bed by 7 - every day summer or not. Rare occasions if we are out or sometimes of a film delays bedtime sure. 😂

User48751490 · 21/05/2022 08:03

The 5yo spends majority of his days Monday to Friday outdoors at nursery as they have an open door policy for outdoor learning/play. He is shattered because of all the fresh air!

lioncitygirl · 21/05/2022 08:04

*they Are up by 6am mind you - and no, I don’t let them out in the garden to scream, and shout , and let it all out.

SouthOfHeaven · 21/05/2022 08:09

My kids never went to bed as early as 6/7pm unless they were ill. I remember everyone saying they’ll sleep earlier and more once they started school, but it never happened. 😂 Now they’re teens they sleep 15 hours when they get the chance. 🙄

StoppinBy · 21/05/2022 08:11

Whetheryouthinkyoucan · 21/05/2022 07:52

@StoppinBy 7.30pm for your 9 year old?!

anyway. @Jas5mum why do you keep yours in until 10am? That seems very late to
me.

I don’t have a problem with kids playing at 9.40pm as long as they are safe, ie. In a garden not on the street.

These threads are reminders of the MN parallel universe. In case I ever think this is real life, a thread on laundry, not going to the cinema alone or kids in the garden pops up to remind me.

Yes, she has always needed a lot of sleep though I guess, Until she was 3 12 she had 2 - 2hr naps plus the 7:30 - 730 sleep at night, she dropped 1 of those by 4 and then still napped on her non kinder days almost until she started school.

Both mine are super grumpy when they don't get enough sleep - it makes the Christmas season bloody hard work because of the late nights.

WhiteCatmas · 21/05/2022 08:11

« Why are children on screens so much and getting fat »
also
« The noise of children outside having fun and being active in their own garden while it is still light is UNACCEPTABLE »
yeesh
stay in your own lane OP

plaidpajamas · 21/05/2022 08:11

Absolutely fine IMO.

I often hear the neighbours kids in the garden at 9-10pm 🤷🏻‍♀️

StoppinBy · 21/05/2022 08:15

@Whetheryouthinkyoucan also, you are being very rude to suggest that because people do things very differently to you that we are make believe, ridiculous people.

My kids are both very high energy (my eldest is diagnosed ADHD and my youngest without a doubt has it but we haven't had him assessed yet) and they need that sleep.

You cannot force a kid to sleep so if they weren't tired and ready to sleep a 7:30 bedtime wouldn't work would it now.... Check your judgment at the door and you might learn something beyond the life that you live.

Valhalla17 · 21/05/2022 08:21

I'm always stunned about children's bedtimes on here. People are always saying 7pm, 7.30, 8pm etc is too early....but honestly the mind boggles. Primary age kids need 9- 12 hrs sleep. They're growing, brains developing...

ThisIdiiot · 21/05/2022 08:26

The only thing that would annoy me is the ball if it was hitting my house.
Other than that though, I have great memories of my kids and the kids in our cul de sac playing out later on the light nights.

Ginajo · 21/05/2022 08:30

On a summer's evening, at the weekend, in their own garden? Might be annoying but it's not unreasonable. No different to adults being out chatting and preferable to my neighbour's teenage son and his mate smoking weed on the other side of my fence.

Live and let live. It's not illegal to play in the garden at that time of night.

GrandSlamFinale · 21/05/2022 08:32

Valhalla17 · 21/05/2022 08:21

I'm always stunned about children's bedtimes on here. People are always saying 7pm, 7.30, 8pm etc is too early....but honestly the mind boggles. Primary age kids need 9- 12 hrs sleep. They're growing, brains developing...

10pm-7:30am is 9.5 hours of sleep. That was the bedtime I had all through primary school. Of course some kids need more, others less, but it's the rule for small kids in Spain and it hasn't harmed anyone yet. In summer it becomes midnight-8am or so, but the majority of people will also have naps in the afternoon.

SouthOfHeaven · 21/05/2022 08:33

Valhalla17 · 21/05/2022 08:21

I'm always stunned about children's bedtimes on here. People are always saying 7pm, 7.30, 8pm etc is too early....but honestly the mind boggles. Primary age kids need 9- 12 hrs sleep. They're growing, brains developing...

My children only ever slept 9 hours at that age. So bed at 9pm in infants school and 10pm in juniors and being able to sleep til 7.30am if they wanted to was plenty. Weekends they would often stay up til midnight and still get up at 9am. 🤷🏻‍♀️ If they had gone to bed at 7pm, they wouldn’t have slept but even if they had, had they would have been up at 4/5am. No thanks.

They both only started sleeping for longer when they hit 13/14.

fluffycereal · 21/05/2022 08:44

You haven't said if they are playing in the street or in the garden. If it's street okay and you don't know then just tell them not to kick the ball near houses. If it's your neighbours then have a word with the parents. Im not remotely bothered by noise but kicking a ball at the house in dangerous. We had a window broken by next doors ball a few years ago so now have a 'kick it down the garden, not up' rule which the kids have stuck to and the parents remind them of quite regularly. General playing noise though? It's actually lovely to hear happy children.

Hollygolightly86 · 21/05/2022 08:48

I’d go out & tell them to shut up at that time, I don’t care if kids are up but if they are disturbing me past 9pm I think the parents are disrespectful & I’d say something. I wouldn’t let my kids behave like that so won’t have it from others. YANBU