Would you put yourself in a precarious financial position…

[Merryoldgoat]

…to privately educate your child.

I work at a private school and deal with the school finances.

We have a few parents who seem to be completely unable to afford the fees. We assist and are understanding and offer payment plans etc.

But there are a few who fail to pay on time every single term.

I just couldn’t cope with the stress.

We have some of the best state schools in the country in the same area so it’s not that there aren’t other options.

Is anyone here in this situation? Why do you put yourself through it?

And this isn’t Covid related btw. This has been going on long before Covid for the parents I’m talking about and we offered assistance to all who needed it (and continue to) when earnings were affected by Covid.

Absolutely not. I wouldn’t even financially inconvenience our family a little to pay for private school, unless there were some really specific circumstances.

I knew a few kids growing up who were in that kind of situation and none of them did well, ultimately. The pressure of knowing their parents were stressed to hell and working themselves into the ground took a huge toll.

@Merryoldgoat i think you can’t understand as you see it in real life and think why would you do that alot of people questioned my decision

Every school has slightly different criteria but broadly speaking, if your child can pass an entrance exam and show they deserve a place in their own right then applying for a bursary would be encouraged.

We wouldn’t expect supplication or unrealistic offers - we’d just ask for a financial disclosure and assess what was reasonably affordable.

For example we have a child at our school with very low income parents who has a full bursary and we pay for extracurricular as well as trips for them. it was a simple process for them and most schools aim or such.

There are several schools across the country with a special provision for SEN and I’d look there.

eg Kingswood House in Epsom - bursary offerings etc but extremely strong pastoral support and around 80% of pupils have SEN although it’s a mainstream school.

Most schools will allow monthly payments which assists with cash flow too.

Identify a school you think is suitable and call to speak to the Bursar and ask about their financial assistance offering. Some have very large endowments for exactly this purpose.

Good luck! My sons have SEN and whilst the older may have benefitted from a private school the younger is heading to a specialist school in Sept so PE isn’t really for us as a family regardless of income.

Definitely and some parents put absolutely masses of pressure on their children. It’s really awful to see. Children with very high levels of anxiety, disruptive behaviour, friendship issues etc.

But you’ve been completely open, have a bursary etc - that’s completely different.

One issue is that we often see parents asset rich and cash poor so we’ll assist for a period but can’t subsidise a family with a second property who refuses to sell it or similar.

Or families who live in large houses mortgage free but claim no funds etc.

They are entirely free to make these decisions but then expect us to subsidise which I find bizarre.

I definitely wouldn't for primary education. But the secondary education my two children received was like chalk and cheese - I sent my younger son private for senior after a very poor experience from a supposedly good state senior school.

I agree with Beancounter, it's the power of the rich, that like withholding money. Plus many rich are so incredibly tight and nasty and that's how they become rich in the first place. I have worked for 3 very rich people, doing their accounts and the way they behave re money is not the norm. Causing hours and hours of work to save paying bank fees of an extra £46. Telling all staff that no one was allowed to leave early on a Friday night to catch flights home to France and Spain to see their spouses, despite having worked 7+ hours of unpaid overtime during the week. Wierd.

I sent my DS to public school however, I had no other choice. It was a struggle but I saved and paid at the start of each term.

I knew of several parents who were not stressed, got behind paying but I dont think it bothered them. The school were never going to kick their DCs out.

Money is better spent on after school activities, tutoring and saving for the child's future to help them when needed.,

Unless of course you already have the money in the bank for school fees because you are a millionaire

Unless I was a millionaire with hundreds of thousands of spare cash in the bank I wouldn't ever consider it .

I do think with state school though you can't hand over responsibility for education. For instance I've started reading with my primary DC several times a week just to keep up to speed.

I guarantee they're late paying because they're entitled. Paying bills to the oiks just isn't a priority for them. They're far too busy being rich and important.

@Merryoldgoat do you think that some of those parents could afford the fees when their child started the school but they didn’t account for fee increases? With compound interest and a second or more children attending a few years after the first you could see that it would really add up.

@Pombear47

I suspect that may be the case, but how can you not consider those things?

It seems oddly shortsighted given the years of commitment one is entering into.

And again, I’m my particular area we have several exceptional primary and secondary schools so it doesn’t feel like it’s a necessity.

@orwellwasright

I agree that’s the case with some but there are several where it’s not the case. The ones who have difficulty so all the delaying. The ones who can pay but won’t just don’t respond until you threaten exclusion and then pay in full without ever replying to me.

The only way I'd put my dc in a private school would be if I had so much money I had their whole school careers worth of money sitting in the bank.

Other than that I could never cope with the stress. Being made redundant and unable to pay bills or having to drastically reduce your standard of living is an awful time. Having to do that and then pull your dc out of school too - horrific.

The people who post 'do you think I can afford private schooling' with details of their financial gymnastics to just manage it are downright crazy imo.

Nope.

Yes I would.

The DC were in a “good” local school, but that school puts children forward for less exams than the average, which boosts the schools ratings but to the kids detriment, and more importantly for us failed to put DS1 forward for a key exam despite reporting back to us that he was on it, and have fundamentally messed up his education. If not fixed this means he cannot apply for the degree he wants to study, despite being a straight-A student.

The ONLY way it can be fixed is for him to go to a private school which offers both the right combination of subjects next year, and the additional support to bridge the gap caused by the current school’s failings.

So yes, I would stretch myself to make that happen.

No I wouldn't. But I'm amazed at 70% discount! It was closer to 30% at our school and pro rated down.
However we applied to four of our nearest (very well regarded) state schools for our son and he didn't get in to any due to distance as the schools were kind of clustered (even though we were walking distance to the nearest). They offered him at a place quite a distance away that was rated poorly. We could afford to go private so we did. I'm not sure how I would have felt about it if we couldn't and went to the other school.

@easyday

I know - it’s very generous.

@TheFoxAndTheStar

What a shit show - I bet you were absolutely furious 😔

That’s not the only way, you can choose to pay to do the extra exams yourself.

Which degree are you saying you can’t do with the A-levels on offer at school?

@SlightlyGeordieJohn it’s not as simple as that unfortunately. By the time we found out they hadn’t put him forward, it was already prelim time, so too late to learn the subject for this year. And it was maths, so really does affect many degrees!

His school doesn’t offer maths at A-level?

We are not in England.

His school offers N5 Mathematics and N5 Applications of Maths. Mathematics is the standard qualification. Applications used to be called “life skill maths” - calculating interest in a mortgage etc. There is no progression to Higher and it is not recognised by most universities.

Each are a 2 year course for 3rd and 4th year.

They put him forward for Applications while reporting his progress to us on Mathematics.

So not as simple as just paying for the right exam after nearly 2 years of being taught the wrong course.

How remarkable. I had no idea that any “normal”
school in the UK was able to opt out of teaching maths if they did A-levels.

My DC with SEN wouldn't get into a specialist school, but state school isn't really suitable either. They both hate school and find it difficult, socially and academically. I wish I could afford private school fees for secondary but it would eat up all our income and then some... I am considering getting into debt for it.

£20,000 per year pays for a lot of tutors and extra activities.