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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cheeky Fucker - Group Gift

704 replies

TulaOfDarkWater · 19/05/2022 18:06

Friendship group of six. One member has a birthday coming up & the other five people decided to get together & buy her a big ticket item.

Site A sells the item for £500 so £100 per person, everyone agreed & was happy with this.

Site B has a deluxe version for £700 so £140 per person, everyone agreed this was out of budget & unanimously decided to go with the £500 option from site A.

Just before the item could be purchased, a member of the group, let’s call her Anne, said she had a 20% off voucher for site B which was due to expire soon & it would be silly to waste it so how about we use it to buy the deluxe version & pay a little extra as birthday girl has had a shitty time of it lately etc.

In the group chat, we discussed:

£700 - 20% = £560

£560 / 5 = £112 per person

Anne thumbs up emoji liked this message!

Everyone agreed they could stretch to the £12 extra & it was decided that we would buy the deluxe item from Site B. The ONLY reason we agreed to this was due to the discount voucher, everyone was happy to purchase from site A otherwise.

Anne purchased the item using the voucher & sent everyone her bank details asking for £140. When this was queried, Anne said the 20% voucher represented her 1/5 contribution & so everyone else owes £140.

  1. Anne knows the reason the £700 option was vetoed in the first place was because everyone - including Anne - agreed £140 was out of budget
  1. At no time did Anne say the 20% voucher was her contribution & the rest of us had to pay full price. Another member of the group had the exact same voucher & we could have used hers if we had known
  1. There are text messages where the group discussed the maths & agreed to £12 extra each & Anne did not dispute this & in fact thumbs up emoji’d it. Her excuse for this is she didn’t read the messages properly, the thumbs up was a mistake / she didn’t do it deliberately / know it was there & she is bad at maths anyway so tuned out!

So am I being unreasonable to think Anne is a cheeky fucker & deliberately mislead us? If we had stuck to the original plan then Anne would have had to pay £100 but this way she pays nothing & the rest of us an extra £40!!

Just to be clear, this voucher was one of those promotional email ones that are sent to those on the company’s mailing list, it wasn’t a voucher that had any monetary value or was a gift to her which would be different & like I said, another member had the exact same voucher which she was happy for us to use instead if we had known this is what Anne was doing.

OP posts:
Unblessed · 19/05/2022 18:08

just transfer £112 as agreed. This is beyond cheeky.

MrsGluck · 19/05/2022 18:09

You agreed to contribute £112, send her your £112.

WulyJmpr · 19/05/2022 18:09

Just send the £112.

Vikinga · 19/05/2022 18:09

No way would I pay her share!

Binsk · 19/05/2022 18:09

YANBU. I'd send her £112 as agreed and leave it at that.

NothingIsWrong · 19/05/2022 18:10

I'd send £112 and refuse to discuss it further. Also would be rethinking the friendship, that is outrageous that she thinks a free email saves her money!

Doidontimmm · 19/05/2022 18:10

I’d ask her to send it back and repurchase the site A option!

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 19/05/2022 18:10

What a cheeky fucker!!! Send her £112 and direct message the rest of the group to tell them to do the same

ConsuelaHammock · 19/05/2022 18:10

Send her £112 and ask her if she’s being serious ? And then a laughing emoji?

Pinotpleasure · 19/05/2022 18:11

Just tell her that you are on a tight budget and you can only pay £112 and not a penny more (and stick to your guns!)

PinkSyCo · 19/05/2022 18:11

Obviously YANBU. Pay this money grabbing chancer £112 and not a penny more.

LoudingVoice · 19/05/2022 18:11

I don’t understand how the voucher can only have been for her portion? Isn’t the gift one transaction?

ChagSameachDoreen · 19/05/2022 18:12

Bloody Anne!

DowntonCrabby · 19/05/2022 18:13

”I’ve transferred you £112 Annie, as agreed on 9/5”

if she pushes back, I’d agree with a PP to return and repurchase from site A

malmi · 19/05/2022 18:13

Anne IBU.

Question is, how to handle it. I would make it very clear in the chat as you have done here that you only wish to contribute the original agreed amount of 112. Make sure she agrees before you send a penny else she can hold the gift and your money hostage.

If she won't agree, and nobody has yet sent her any money, then someone else should volunteer to buy the gift instead for one of the original agreed costs per person. And tell Anne that she should try to get a refund for hers. If it looks like everyone is on board with that plan it may jolt her into reasonableness.

IamnotSethRogan · 19/05/2022 18:13

Yup thats cheeky fuckery. I would send her £112. I wouldn't even privately message the other members. I would say in the group that you're paying £112 as agreed and you expect everyone else is doing the same.

Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople · 19/05/2022 18:13

Yeah just pay the 112 and if she argues it, just send her a screenshot of your WhatsApp conversation. What a knob.

Really want to know what the gift is!

HumourReplacementTherapy · 19/05/2022 18:14

If Anne is wanting to lose herself 4 friends she's going the right way about it. Tell her if she carries on she'll have no friends to celebrate her own bday when it comes round.
You don't use a 20% off mailing list voucher to rip your own mates off!

sog74 · 19/05/2022 18:14

Definitely pay only £112 as agreed

Giraffesandbottoms · 19/05/2022 18:14

This Anne sounds like bad news

misskatamari · 19/05/2022 18:14

Whaaat? So she isn't paying anything and expects you guys to pay the amount you all said you couldn't afford. Fuck that! Not a chance, i would be sending the £112 as agreed and tough luck if she doesn't like it. If she can't see that she's being massively unreasonable then shes a complete cheeky fucker and I would be viewing her in a very different light.

malmi · 19/05/2022 18:15

If the gift has been handed over to the recipient by now then just send the 112 of course.

WaterBottle123 · 19/05/2022 18:15

Wow! She's special,

Yes just send 112

Lynnthesearesexnotgenderpeople · 19/05/2022 18:16

malmi · 19/05/2022 18:13

Anne IBU.

Question is, how to handle it. I would make it very clear in the chat as you have done here that you only wish to contribute the original agreed amount of 112. Make sure she agrees before you send a penny else she can hold the gift and your money hostage.

If she won't agree, and nobody has yet sent her any money, then someone else should volunteer to buy the gift instead for one of the original agreed costs per person. And tell Anne that she should try to get a refund for hers. If it looks like everyone is on board with that plan it may jolt her into reasonableness.

Oooh yes, force her hand! Hopefully none of you have paid yet, get everyone on board.

Bloody Anne! 😂

RealBecca · 19/05/2022 18:16

I wouldn't pay until she agreed to either return it and order from site A or accept £112. I'd give her a reasonable time to decide and say after X date you wont pay and will reorder with the other voucher or the other site.