How should this holiday bill be split?

[aibuuname]

AIBU to think we are being short changed in this set up? As a disclaimer I don't think I will kick up a fuss this time as its a pretty good deal regardless but interested to see what would be considered normal for such a situation incase it arises again.
4 couples, 2 couples have 2 young children each between 3-7, one couple has a small baby and myself and DH are childless. We are all going away for 4 nights booked for September. Now I love my friends children and am excited to spend time with them all as we all live spread out and its been hard to see each other often due to covid etc. However its been assumed the villa bill will be split 4 ways is this normal? all my previous trips where pre-children with this group or with other childless couples. It feels a bit like us and the couple with the baby are subsidizing the cost of the older children as they will be sharing 2 rooms between them and therefore it would be fairer if the bill was split by room. Particularly as a 4 bed villa would cost quite a bit less than a 6 bed one.
As I say I don't plan to cause a fuss over this as its a good deal, i'm excited to go and we can afford it but I'm wondering if this is normal and cautious about setting up a precedent for any future trips.

Exactly my issue, as mentioned earlier. But though it would be okay to question the share of the costs for this villa,.no single person would dare mention the drinks round issue. Even though it's far more pervasive and a regular issue rather than a one off holiday problem, mentioning it would be social suicide. I don't think it ever crosses any couples' minds that it's unfair, and any single person bringing it up would be seen as a cheapskate.

I hate things like this! The family with more kids always wants it split between adults and the family with less also wants it by room (I’m in the by room camp BTW but we only have 1 child).

we went away with a family last year and they booked a hotel and expected us to split the cost equally despite them needing 2 hotel rooms. We’ll not book that way again, we’ll book for ourselves!

You do need to say something before you all go, because otherwise you'll be splitting the food bills 4 ways as well ...

Although mine are grown up now, it was always split by room even when they were younger. Sometimes it wasn't a straight split as not all the rooms were equal, but I always paid and expected to pay. The only time we didn't was a big family weekend of about 20 folk and the only kids were ours and they had a box room with bunk beds in it. Actually by the time you did a split our extra cost was a saving of buttons to the others. We just brought some extra wine - that seemed pretty fair :)

I divide by the people going and times by the number in each party .
So for example 12 in party , divide total by 12 and the family of 4 pay 4 times that divided amount and etc etc between the parties

Def not divided between families . That's unfair unless of course it's a villa and you wouldn't be able to have it unless everyone else did .

You should definitely raise it. Suggest you split per room.

A four room villa would be significantly cheaper than a six room one.

I don't see how this can be an oversight. I think they're being cheeky tbh.

It's like buying drinks where there are two couples and two singles, it should be my round every sixth round but the two couples are each classed as a single unit so it works out as every fourth round. Not a massive amount but still annoying.

That's madness, if it's two couples then it's a round each couple but if it's a mixed group then clearly it's by person?

Younger folk nowadays just buy individually at the pub and at first I thought that was a bit weird but it seems to work. No-one is forced into drinking faster to keep up with the rounds, no-one feels obliged to get an alcoholic drink instead of a soft drink just to get their moneys worth and no-one gets to take advantage by skipping off when it's their round. Everyone just has what it suits them to have and therefore completely fair and healthier alcohol consumption wise.

The couples with 2 dc each are cf to expect a childless couple and a couple with a baby to cover their costs. Divide the total cost of the villa by 6 (as in 6 rooms). You pay 1/6, the couple with a baby pays 1/6. The rest of the cost is divided between the other 2 couples. I would definitely say something because you’ll forever be treated like mugs and forever walked on.

I think on this occasion, given that you're happy with the cost and see it as a bit of a bargain, I'd just leave it.

But in the future when it could work out more expensive, I'd say something then. Nothing wrong with saying "We didn't say anything last time as it was a good deal for us all, but tbh this time it's working out way more expensive for us, is there any way we could split by room/per person instead?"

Younger folk nowadays just buy individually at the pub and at first I thought that was a bit weird but it seems to work. No-one is forced into drinking faster to keep up with the rounds, no-one feels obliged to get an alcoholic drink instead of a soft drink just to get their moneys worth and no-one gets to take advantage by skipping off when it's their round

A lot of us 'older' folk do this nowadays too. It's so much easier if everyone simply pays for themselves.

What is difference in cost between a four-bed and a six-bed villa? If it's easy to work out, then the families with kids should really pay the difference.

As far as going out for meals is concerned, I'd be happy to split that four ways as kids' meals aren't that expensive.

We went on holiday a few years ago with another couple with a child (we had 1 DC at the time) and one couple without DC (well, theirs are adults, so didnt come!) - we split per person so us and the other couple paid for 3 people and 3rd couple paid for 2.

I rented a chalet with my 2 brothers, they were accompanied by their wives. I thought we should divide by number of people. (I also took the room with single beds with small bathroom across the hall )
One couple had a lovely master suite with balcony, the other had a large double room & nice bathroom
One brother said I should pay a 1/5
the other said I should pay 1/3 because they were sharing a room, & I was on my own... (In a room with single beds)
I had organized it all & sorted the car...did a lot of the cooking & most of the washing up. I paid 1/5, I still wonder if it wonder if I was wrong.....

If the couple booking the place have chosen somewhere that the children get en suite double rooms and then they’re expecting to split the bill four ways, they are not good friends, they are pisstaking freeloaders.

As all the rooms are equal size and quality, the cost should be split by room.

I think it's rude of the others not to offer to pay more. We have 3dc and pay extra or a least offer when splitting costs with friends who have one or two. You should've brought it up before booking really.

I disagree with the majority here and think the bill should be split between the adults. The children aren’t contributed financially to their families so why should they have to pay? Plus the kids will probably be given the worst rooms - perhaps they should get first dibs if the parents are paying double what the other two couples are!

Of course they do! The OP and her husband are literally subsidising her friends. Food, fair enough not to include little kids because they eat bugger all but when it comes to holiday accommodation, it's always costed on how many beds.

If you were still four childless couples going away you'd be booking a four-bedroom place and each paying a quarter.
Now some have kids you are booking a six-bedroom place - you should be paying a sixth, for the one bedroom you are using. The couples with kids who are using two bedroom pay for both rooms they are using.
I wouldn't agree to anything else if it was me!

I would assume it would be split four ways. It wouldn't enter my head to split it by rooms. But there would have to be an agreement on this before it was booked.

Plus the kids will probably be given the worst rooms - perhaps they should get first dibs if the parents are paying double what the other two couples are!

Well, since OP has said the rooms are all full-size doubles with en-suite that can't happen on this holiday, can it?

We just went on holiday with 17 of us. Was all family so probably more easy going on it not always being exactly equal.

the villa we split but adults paying a full share and children under 18 paying a half share.
car hire sax just divided between the adults.
food wise we added up what everyone had spent on communal shops/petrol etc over the week and divided it by all the people over age 11. I insisted that my 3 age 11 and over count as a person for food as they eat like gannets!

I think this is pretty much what me and DH have decided to do, the couple booking it and suggesting its split 4 ways found and booked the villa and it really is a bargain because of the dates we are going so this time we will just suck it up to keep the peace. If it happens again though I will be assuming its CF behavior and saying something.
Food wise its been pretty much agreed we are all happy to eat dinner out each night and when we've eaten out previously with kids around everyone just puts in what they ate + tip so i'm not worried about that. I will go prepared to speak up if anyone suggests anything different or takes the piss with grocery shopping.

They are getting you to subsidise their holiday, that’s unacceptable.

Unlike others I don't think he room rate applies here. Just split the cost between adults. If one couple has kids and uses one of the spare rooms, What difference does that make to you financially. How much extra food and electricity are too tiny children really gonna add on.
I strongly disagree with all those saying kids pay for room. £4000 for bills, 6 adults, £666 each.