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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How should this holiday bill be split?

143 replies

aibuuname · 19/05/2022 13:21

AIBU to think we are being short changed in this set up? As a disclaimer I don't think I will kick up a fuss this time as its a pretty good deal regardless but interested to see what would be considered normal for such a situation incase it arises again.
4 couples, 2 couples have 2 young children each between 3-7, one couple has a small baby and myself and DH are childless. We are all going away for 4 nights booked for September. Now I love my friends children and am excited to spend time with them all as we all live spread out and its been hard to see each other often due to covid etc. However its been assumed the villa bill will be split 4 ways is this normal? all my previous trips where pre-children with this group or with other childless couples. It feels a bit like us and the couple with the baby are subsidizing the cost of the older children as they will be sharing 2 rooms between them and therefore it would be fairer if the bill was split by room. Particularly as a 4 bed villa would cost quite a bit less than a 6 bed one.
As I say I don't plan to cause a fuss over this as its a good deal, i'm excited to go and we can afford it but I'm wondering if this is normal and cautious about setting up a precedent for any future trips.

OP posts:
Lilifer · 19/05/2022 13:46

Why would you be expected to subsidize their kids rooms??

Sharrowgirl · 19/05/2022 13:49

You split by room because the price of the accommodation goes up as the number of bedrooms goes up.

The families using two rooms should be paying 2/6ths each and the couples having one room pay 1/6th each.

mewkins · 19/05/2022 13:52

How about a child is a half. The baby is free. So split it by people rather than rooms. Agreed that the kids room is usually a small bunk room or something.

So split the total 12 ways and have the couples with kids pay for 3x12ths each. The couple with no kids and the ones with babies just pay 1/6 of the bill each. Sorry if I have miscounted!

Livercool · 19/05/2022 13:52

Oh, just saw the rooms were all the same size with en suites so ignore my comment. Sounds like nice accommodation!

Portiasparty · 19/05/2022 13:53

Sharrowgirl · 19/05/2022 13:49

You split by room because the price of the accommodation goes up as the number of bedrooms goes up.

The families using two rooms should be paying 2/6ths each and the couples having one room pay 1/6th each.

This. It's just like paying the extra for children's meals. Why should childfree people subsidise those with children?

Caulidop · 19/05/2022 13:57

I would most definitely expect to pay more if my family was using 2 rooms. Splitting 4 ways isn't reasonable, unless both you and couple with baby have said explicitly that you are happy to do this for whatever reason without any pressure to do so. CF's!

resuwen · 19/05/2022 13:57

I've taken part in a lot of shared holidays weekends over the years with various combinations of a large group of friends. Kids always go free. Sometimes there are extra rooms and they get a cushy spot. Sometimes we're squashed and they get a ready bed on the floor. Families have anywhere between three and no children. Mine are older now and sometimes don't go. It's only the adults that pay. This makes things nice and simple!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/05/2022 13:58

When we've done this it's usually worked out that children in their own beds are half the costs of adults and (no charge for babies toddlers in parents rooms). Possibly because their rooms have been much smaller.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/05/2022 14:00

charge by room.

Not quite sure why you'd put yourself through this though tbh- to hang out with lots of other peoples young children, I foresee no end of issues from costs/activities etc.

ZekeZeke · 19/05/2022 14:04

I'm not sure. The villa sounds great but I would probably split it per family.

That said, not a hope in hell I would be going on holidays as a child free couple with two couples and their young children. This would be hellish for me.

AtwilightRebellion · 19/05/2022 14:09

If all rooms are of same calibre then its split by room. Anything less is unfair.

I say this as a villa owner and frequent villa renter.

Your friends need to pay for the second room they will be occupying.

TidyDancer · 19/05/2022 14:10

I think I would split by room, and I say this as someone who has two DCs and would therefore need to pay more in this scenario. If you don't feel comfortable suggesting this, perhaps they could absorb increased costs in another way, such as paying for activities or food or something like that. I definitely don't think you should be subsiding their DCs though, certainly not to this degree.

BuanoKubiamVej · 19/05/2022 14:11

My friends and I do lots of holidays like this. Our attitude is that it's just as unfair for the people with kids to pay double as it is for them to pay no extra at all. A family of 2 adults and 2 kids does not actually get double the value out of the holiday compared to a couple without kids, and certainly a 2 bed holiday home doesn't cost anywhere near twice a 1-bed of similar standard. We split half the cost per bedroom and half the cost per family which means that the people with kids pay a little more than those without but nowhere near half. This also allows the families who want to economise by having the kids on floor matresses in one bedroom can pay less than the ones who want a separate bedroom for their kids.

I don't think there's anything wrong with raising this. If you're good friends then no one will be offended if you just say "what do people suggest is the fairest way to split the costs? Doesn't seem fair for {XXX} to pay double what {YYY} pay but doesn't seem fair for them to be exactly the same either. Any suggestions for a sensible split that's fair to all?"

thisplaceisweird · 19/05/2022 14:17

If there was a small bunk bed room I would let it drop. But, I would have to text and say 'since all the rooms are the same, might it be fairer to split by room rather than by couple?' maybe get baby couple on board behind the scenes before you mention. They probably just haven't thought of it like this.

Thing is, if a couple liked to sleep in separate beds, and got a bedroom each, they would of course be expected to pay for the extra space, the group wouldn't subsidise it. There's no difference.

countrygirl99 · 19/05/2022 14:17

When we did a group holiday with 3 other families adults counted as 1, children over 2 as half and under 2 weren't counted. We added all the costs of accommodation, food etc and split on that basis.

Alovelydayatlast · 19/05/2022 14:19

They are Cfers aren't they? Bet they try to split food bills in the same manner!!

Sofasogood1 · 19/05/2022 14:23

Do you know what though - I said split by room but if this was couples and one singleton I'm not sure it would feel right splitting by room, essentially making the singleton pay double what everyone else does.

Never super easy is it!

Aprilx · 19/05/2022 14:25

resuwen · 19/05/2022 13:57

I've taken part in a lot of shared holidays weekends over the years with various combinations of a large group of friends. Kids always go free. Sometimes there are extra rooms and they get a cushy spot. Sometimes we're squashed and they get a ready bed on the floor. Families have anywhere between three and no children. Mine are older now and sometimes don't go. It's only the adults that pay. This makes things nice and simple!

Maybe your child free friends weren’t as happy with the arrangement as you were though.

Original poster
aibuuname · 19/05/2022 14:30

Thankyou for the sensible suggestions, I think I will send a message like @BuanoKubiamVej has suggested. Even if its agreed that because the villa is a good deal this time we split it by 4 it will mean there is no precedent set for the future.
For those asking why i'd want to go away with friends with young kids, these are good friends and a I love getting to see their children, do fun things with the kids and then hand them back at bed time. Myself and DP are planning children some point soon and I hope my childless friends won't ditch me immediately. Perhaps I will have a different view once i've raised some of my own.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 19/05/2022 14:30

It should be split by rooms!

hellomeownow · 19/05/2022 14:30

@Sofasogood1 you say obviously by room - I went on holiday with two couples and two singles. The singles didn’t want to share a room and so had one each. They insisted we split it per person as they felt it unfair to pay more to have their own room. I couldn’t get too worked up about the cooking - what was an obvious alternative?

saraclara · 19/05/2022 14:33

Sofasogood1 · 19/05/2022 14:23

Do you know what though - I said split by room but if this was couples and one singleton I'm not sure it would feel right splitting by room, essentially making the singleton pay double what everyone else does.

Never super easy is it!

As the single person, I agree that it's not simple! All sorts of inequalities have come to light since I was widowed. In pubs for instance! I pay for a round, but only one person from each couple does!

TeenPlusCat · 19/05/2022 14:33

So at the moment it is 1:1:1:1 and you pay 1/4
By room would be 2:2:1:1 and you pay 1/6

If child rooms were costed at one half it would be
1.5:1.5:1:1 and you would pay 1/5 so part way.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/05/2022 14:33

hellomeownow · 19/05/2022 14:30

@Sofasogood1 you say obviously by room - I went on holiday with two couples and two singles. The singles didn’t want to share a room and so had one each. They insisted we split it per person as they felt it unfair to pay more to have their own room. I couldn’t get too worked up about the cooking - what was an obvious alternative?

Actually yes experienced it this way round too- invited to a wedding and shared a villa onsite:

2 couples
1 single + child
1 single

omg the arguments, I think it should have been done by room, the two singles wanted it per person, until we said ok then count the child.

lunar1 · 19/05/2022 14:34

If a single person doesn't want to share, that's their choice. They still should pay for the room.