To want to get married but not have the big wedding

[RubyEmma212121]

I have been engaged for 7 years and have two dc.

I would quite like to get married now and have seen so many quirky cool registry office weddings.

What I want to know is has any one gone really low key and regretted it? Or anyone gone big and wished they hadn't?

I realise I may upset friends and family but it's my day right.

Also if anyone has got married with 2 under 2 is it manageable or best wait until they are older?

It's the way I would do it. And ordinary nice clothing too. A fine meal out in an ordinary restaurant after. Heaven! I was a witness for a couple who did this.

Why would you be unreasonable? Thousands of people get married that way every year.

I got married with just 2 witnesses it was the best. Family met us for a meal afterwards with our kids. Wouldn’t change a thing.

Just have the quiet wedding you want, no need to make a big thing about it, you don't even need to tell anyone until after the event, actually you don't need to tell anyone full stop.

We had a very quiet wedding, five guests in total (3 at the register office plus 2 more for lunch afterwards). No one ever said they were disappointed... I honestly don't think most people care either way. My sibling married abroad, no family invited, I've never given it a second thought.

We got married at six in the evening then took 30 family members and close friends to a lovely restaurant. No pics, no hanging around, no gifts, just a quiet candlelit ceremony and some really good food and wine.

Why would something like that upset family and friends?

10 person wedding, including me and my husband. Best thing we've ever done.

2 witnesses here, too. No party - we went home afterwards and got on with our lives. I hate big events. I hate being the centre of attention. We had better things to spend our money on. We did it to make sure everything was all tied up legally as I was a SAHM. Thank God we did, as it served me well when we got divorced.

There were eight people at my wedding including me and my husband. No never regretted it, I Winifred do the same if the clock was turned back.

would not Winifred 🙄

Do it! A small thing will be easier for the children. I would invite very close family only and go for a meal somewhere nice after.

Also us and 2 whitenesses. Don’t regret a single thing. I hate being the centre of attention.

Loving the “whitenesses”! Were they ghosts in sheets? 😂

We got married at gretna green! Us and 12 guests. Best day of my life (along with the days I gave birth!)

I really really recommend gretna! We had a lovely ceremony, beautiful low key reception, and only close family and friends were there. It was really personal and v romantic

We got married, no guests - photographer doubled as witness - don’t even know his name - loved our wedding day - it was very intimate. Not keen on big weddings - never wanted one.

We had a big(ish) wedding and it was great in many ways. A wonderful day. But it was also stressful in the organisation and making sure everything was ‘perfect’. If I was doing it again (hopefully not!) I’d want something smaller and simpler.

It’s your day do what you want. Surely the people who love you won’t begrudge you that.

YANBU

5 in total at mine in a registry office.
I still had the lovely dress,
photos at beautiful church ruins,
meal and stay in a fancy hotel.
No debt or stress.

I adore attention, but had no patience with the idea of organising a big wedding, or indeed any wedding — it was a busty time for us both. We just went down to the registry office at lunchtime with two witnesses, and then went for tapas. We didn’t even tell anyone other than them for years. Absolutely no regrets. Why would anyone regret not organising a big party they didn’t want in the first place?

Really low key and never, ever regretted it.

Married over 20 years.

I don't know, it's your day, but having been to a small wedding last year (20 people) it was the most awkward wedding I've ever been to. If you're going to go small you have to think about it a lot more I think. My friends wedding started at 10am and went on until midnight, that's a long time to make small talk and with a small wedding party there is no way you can take a half an hour breather in the way you can at a big wedding. The smaller the wedding, the less time I'd say as EVERYTHING is quicker. Also we were told to wear what we want and all felt pretty awkward in a range from jeans to cocktail dresses. Just try not to have your wedding cake and eat it!

I got married in a 50 quid registry office, with just the four parents in the room. Then had a nice dinner with some wider family in a nearby restaurant and then the pub with friends. We were clear up front with everyone that if they wanted to come we'd love it but we weren't paying haha. Nobody had an issue at all. I mean, if people want the big white wedding then they should go for it, but I've never cared about it. My ring was £15 quid from cash converters 😆. We had the money for a big wedding if we remortgaged but why do that if it's not something you want? Meh. Have the wedding you want.

micro wedding and hire a child minder or two (one for each incase one needs to nap).

I wore an old black satin dress and my husband came straight from college in a hoodie. It's really fine to not bankrupt yourself if it's not something you're that bothered by!

9 of us in total, would do it the same, in a heartbeat.

That is one of my favourite completely random typos ever I think