What’s the general MN verdict on donor eggs?

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The general critical re-examination of surrogacy is quite evident, and I have my own views on that, which I’ll keep quiet for the purposes of this thread.

Now I find myself chewing over other fertility treatment. I’ve had fertility treatment myself and so have family members. So I have a sense of how private clinics put you on a conveyor belt and normalise things.

What is the general view on donor eggs & embryos (implanted into the birth mother and gestated by her)?

Im trying really hard not to bias the result so have tossed a coin to assign YABU/YANBU to viewpoints. Don’t read into that.

YANBU = Donor gametes are ethically fine.
YABU = Donor gametes are problematic.

I should have put the word “surrogacy” in the title as click bait. 😁

Ew

I don’t really agree with anything that treats children as a commodity. So no issue about assisted conception using own eggs & sperm, or altruistic donation / surrogacy (by friends / family etc). But anything you pay a stranger to use… no, I don’t think that’s right.

And I say this as someone who can’t have biological children, and has taken the decision not to use donor eggs and therefore has had to accept this means not being a parent (wouldn’t be approved to adopt).

I can't vote on the app but I think they're absolutely fine

I agree with this. Just saves me having to write pretty much the same thing.

The problem I have with them isn't on the receiving end (the expecting parents) but the donor end. Often young women are targeted to sell/donate their eggs and it is always portrayed as an easy way to make money, comparable to sperm donation. In reality it takes weeks of preparatory hormone injections followed by invasive surgery (and they always take more eggs than they really need, to ensure the best chances of success) and a recovery period which is not adequately compensated for. I really do think it's a terrible example of the commodification of women's bodies.

I think that there are ethical considerations around it that don't really get much of an airing. There was a tread once about a woman who used her sister's eggs to conceive a child/children and was upset because her sister was upset that she had considered using another egg which was already frozen to have another. What followed has a conversation that couched in terms that sounded a lot more like property law than the usual terms we hear - like gift and selflessness.

I don't think there are any easy answers but I think the questions and assumptions, like about who actually is the mother and what rights do each party have, including that of the conceived child, that are important but missing in a broader societal conversation about the impact of new narratives about parents, women and children which emerge with donor and surrogacy technologies.

As the mother of a child conceived using a donor egg, I'm just rocking up to let you know you've basically invited a load of women to say incredibly offensive things about something I very much doubt they have any personal experience of.

If you're pleased with that, then crack on. Well done, you.

Sorry to hear that. I must admit I don’t know what the altruistic donor situation is like currently. I do know a couple of women who went abroad for treatment, and also several couples who used donor alert due to MFI, but sperm doesn’t seem to be in such short supply (not so controversial, for some reason).

I am ok with donor eggs being used and implanted into the woman who will raise the baby but I think there should be no anonymous egg donation and anyone who uses them should assist their child in contacting egg donor when at an appropriate age. I also think children should be told from babies about the egg donation so they are fully aware growing up of their genetic heritage.

I suspect OP knows what they're doing. There are better spaces to discuss the ethics of using donor eggs if they were truly interested. They know what MN can be like regarding surrogacy, yet they've chosen MN to ask this question? Interesting.

Its better that it’s openly debated than discussed in corners though, isn’t it? Do you worry that stigma from the surrogacy debate will have an effect?

Congratulations on your family! A loved, wanted and cherished child is such a blessing

Where are these “better places” then? I’ll reserve judgment until you say.

I think it's fine. Don't have any problem with it at all

Personally no, I think donor sperm/eggs/surrogacy should all be illegal.

The problem with all of these procedures is that they are all about someone becoming a parent with very little thought given to the children who are the product of these arrangements.

The reason why the law was changed in order for the children of donated eggs/sperm to be able to trace their biological parent is because so many of them grow up with a sense of not belonging, or that half of them is missing.

It’s all very well saying that anything which means a child is born into a loving family is fantastic, but that’s not enough. That child is going to grow up into an adult in their own right, and that missing heritage is theirs to deal with.

It’s not possible to know how a child of donated eggs/sperm is going to feel about their heritage, or lack thereof, and the potential implications if they trace their donor only to be rejected.

And as a donor it’s also not possible to know that the product of your donation will be born into a loving family. There seems to be this perception that anyone who has fertility treatment is automatically going to be a loving parent. But there are no guarantees.

I doubt there is a general view.

I feel there is a difference between someone donating spare eggs as part of their own ivf journey and someone selling eggs to help fund college - in terms of potentially 'exploiting' another person. I also think the long term risks to egg donars hasnt been followed up for the second type of donar.

In terms of the baby, there are less issues around being removed from the heartbeat and sounds of the mother you grew inside, and first smelled etc.

But possibly issues about your genetics and siblings.

Is there a reason the thread title and the text of the post refers to donor eggs and not donor sperm? Although I’m aware you’ve used ‘gametes’ at the end?

Anyway, I see no ethical problem with donor gametes whatsoever. Obviously lesbian couples often use donor gametes in order to start their families. I do see a massive ethical problem with denying parenthood to same sex couples.

Donor gametes is a very interesting subject ethically, and just because it upsets some people to hear, I don’t think that means it shouldn’t be talked about. There are two things with donor eggs, which is worth thinking about.

Firstly, many IVF clinics will incentivise egg sharing with either free or discounted IVF. This is brilliant for some families, but it poses the same moral issues to me as paying for gametes. Some women who might not want to share their eggs might feel pressured into it if treatment is otherwise out of price range. Seems like it’s commodifying it a little.

Second, and this is also applicable to donor sperm, is how will children born from donor gametes feel about it? From the answers we have so far, some children are fine with it, they see their family as those who raised them and it’s all good. For some though, being raised without access to half of their biological background is a significant problem. Donors now have to be accessible to children when they turn 18 which I think is a very important step, even if that reduces the amount of donors. When discussing how donor conception should work, the only consideration should be wide ranging studies on the best outcomes for the children conceived. At the moment it seems like the balance is good with emphasis on being honest with children from the earliest moment about their background, and giving children access to their biological background. But if it turns out that actually that isn’t right, changes should be made on behalf of the children, even if that is more difficult for their parents.

I’m still wrestling with it but I tend to agree. I made the rule for myself that I’d (personally) only consider traceable donors if it came to that.

The irony is that the lack of donors drove people overseas, where donors often weren’t traceable (as I say I’m not up to date with domestic waiting lists currently so don’t know how much that’s still the case).

The other irony was that it was EXH’s male factor infertility that first led us to a clinic and nobody even seems to consider ethical issues around sperm donation much at all. Perhaps because retrieval is, ahem, much easier, everyone is quite blasé about it?

Donor eggs and surrogacy is ethical, any unethical surrogacy or 'donations' are as a result of abuse/coercion/exploitation etc. MN users seem to think pregnant people involved in surrogacy are always abused and don't competently consent to it.

Poor people selling bits of their body to people who have more money

I gave birth to my son, he was conceived from my wife’s egg and donor sperm.

My opinion is that other people debating whether my child and thousands like him conceived from donor gametes should exist or not is pretty grotesque.

I’ve got a shed load of eggs if the freezer because I personally thought I’d struggle with the idea and time was ticking.

but I was very surprised by how many women I met at the clinic seemed genuinely happy with the concept of egg sharing for reduced cost.

I think there is scope for exploitation which needs to be guarded against - but I think it is much easier to do than with surrogacy and ultimately it has less of an impact than surrogacy (not that if you think it’s harmful the fact it is less harmful is necessarily relevant).

my personal view is that there are lots of potential issues with it but these likely can be managed if properly regulated and overseen and - if these risks are managed - can be a good thing.

I second this!!