to be offended by this T-shirt?

[parklife1]

I saw a post on social media today. It was about two gay men becoming fathers of twins via surrogate. There was a picture of the two men in "DAD" T-shirts. The pregnant surrogate stood in between them with a T-shirt saying "NOT THE MOMMA".

I'm not even against surrogacy perse, but I found this picture offensive.

I understood why she was wearing it - she wanted to display that she doesn't want to have a mothering role in the children's life.

I still think it's a slap in the face of women, we go through so much during pregnancy and labour. Giving birth can be life-threatening, I lost 2.1 litres of blood during my first birth and 1 litre of blood during my second birth.

Many women have postpartum depression after birth and the hormones are on a roller-coaster.

My body will be forever marked by giving birth (stretch marks, C-section scar, mum tum).

To me this picture is just offensive, because it sort of portrays women and our bodies as a commodity.

AIBU?

Funny how you just made something up entirely.

I honestly don’t see how you could back up that claim with anything concrete. Your perception isn’t necessarily truth.

Evidence, please.

That's quite some claim, and you might want to evidence it.

However I can't help thinking that 'almost always' is doing quite a bit of heavy lifting in that sentence, so maybe you're not quite so confident in your accusations of homophobia as you'd clearly like to be, hmmm?

YABU I can’t see how that is offensive at all and can’t see how surrogacy is wrong either!
I had a traumatic birth, c section and a traumatic few months after birth with a long hospital stay after developing sepsis from the c section wound, I still can’t see how this is offensive.

Gay couples shouldn’t be able to adopt period.

You what now??????

Lots of 'quites' there, apologies 🙄

By all means disprove it.

To do so you’d need to show that 66% of negative coverage about specific cases of surrogacy related to straight couples. That is demonstrably not the case though so good luck trying.

If people only have an issue with surrogacy for gay couples, then I am not interested in them. I have no time for homophobia. I have an issue with surrogacy for any couple, it’s unethical and doesn’t centre the child or birth mum.

Amen. If that were the case then siblings who grow up together, raised by the same parents. would be very similar people. They often are not.

Do you really think that 66% of negative coverage and discussion of surrogacy focuses on straight couples?

Really?

Oh do fuck off and take your homophobia back to the pages of the Daily Mail.

Yes you're entitled to be offended by it - offense is basically "I don't like it". Just don't like it your offense isn't going to change the world.

This, in spades.

How would this be different from a wealthy person offering to purchase a kidney or a cornea from someone who is financially in need? Can anyone explain?

This thread is hompophpobic because it seeks to deny gay males the oportunity to have a family

Nobody is 'denying an opportunity'. The opportunity does not exist biologically for a same sex couple or for those who are unable to conceive due to lifestyle choices (e.g. age as somebody mentioned upthread)

I just came from a reddit thread by a surrogate who has been called rude and unreasonable by the two fathers for wanting her DH in the delivery room to support her. She can only have three people in the room and they want one of their mothers there instead. She was actually questioning whether she was in the wrong.

I strongly dislike surrogacy. The surrogates without a financial motive I suspect were little girls who got a lot of praise for being kind and selfless, probably only got praise for that, and don't have much of a sense of identity outside of it. I've read so many examples of surrogates having their most basic human rights trampled, it makes me furious.

Focusing on whether there is more negative coverage for same sex or opposite sex couples completely ignores what is happening for the baby in surrogacy.

We are going to buy and sell babies it would be better to be more honest about we are doing.
Then do some research about what is in their best interests with regards to removing them from their birth mother.

Personally I would just ban the practice but allowing it and pretending it isn't an issue is the worst of all worlds.

I'm not comfortable with the idea of surrogacy in general (irrespective of the orientation of the parents) because it turns pregnancy and childbirth into a transaction. Also I don't think that a child should be intentionally deprived of their biological mother (unless they're abusive or neglectful, obviously). This couple should have considered adoption.

I agree, 100%

The two men should've been wearing t-shirts that say "I bought a human being"

You could say the same about anyone who's went through IVF or used a sperms donor

Uh, no. You really can't.

So the two men have a slogan saying what they consider themselves to be in a psoitve and affirming way ie Dads. The woman has a slogan saying what she is not.

So what could she have on her t-shirt to say what she is as an actual person in this scenario? Or is she not really a person? Just a means of production?

Incubator?
Womb-haver?
Baby producer?
Signatory to a sale contract?

Very well said!

If surrogacy is so altruistic, why is it never rich women offering to carry babies for poorer ones?

Yeah, its a public and political statement to erase that women.

The gross commodification of women in surrogacy could not be made clearer in that statement.

And if the surrogate in this case was actually biologically related to that child it is even more disgusting. Because then she actually is the mother.

By all means disprove it.

You made the claim, you back it up.

To do so you’d need to show that 66% of negative coverage about specific cases of surrogacy related to straight couples. That is demonstrably not the case though so good luck trying.

Ah, if it's "demonstrably" the case, then demonstrate it. We'll wait.

P.S. Not only do you not understand the burden of proof, but also maths and statistics. Not sure where you've pulled 66% from, but presumably the same place as your wild claims.