After school club 4 days a week unfair?

[Workwork21]

I have a civil service job offer and a single parent. I think it is going to be in the office 5 days a week by the time I start and my mum can do one pick up a week. This leaves 4 days a week where they will need after-school club until 5.30/6pm.

I feel awfully guilty at the idea of 4 days a week ASC. The children are year 1 and year 3.

Will it be too much for them? I'm looking for a childminder/nanny share too even if it just gives then a couple of days ASC and a couple of days in something else.

I don't think its that unusual for kids to be in ASC 4 days mine are in 3.

I'd stick with one provider so that they get to see the same friends rather than switching between childminder and afterschool

I'd choose 4 days of the same thing rather than splitting it up. I don't think it will be too much for them - my little boy is in nursery 4 days a week 8-6pm. It's how i can work but he's managed totally fine (he's only 2).

Its not unusual , but it is sad that that has become the staple. I wish i lived in sweden

There’s nothing wrong with this at all. I’d also stick with one setting unless your children don’t like it.

Depends on the kids and the club. My DSC were in after school club a lot because parents both worked full time. They didn't love it but it kept them safe and occupied.
A well run club can be fun and the kids usually get fed, so that's one less thing for you to have to do.

My DD (year 2) she's started breakfast club at 8 and goes to out of school club until 5:30 3 days a week and until 4 2 days a week. She's handled it a lot better than I thought she would and she seems to understand that I do actually need to work to be able to take her places. She does tell me she doesn't want to go a lot but she's always had a really good time when I pick her up. You can always trial it for a few months and then re-evaluate if it's not working out but I'm sure they'll be just fine.

Don't think it's too much but the younger one especially would probably prefer a childminder as that tends to be a smaller group and more relaxed. My year 1 DC just wants to chill after school.

Mine were/are in breakfast and after school club 4 days a week all the way through primary school. It’s not unusual.

It’s fine! But I think a single more consistent setting might be better, if possible? We had a childminder before and after school, was v nice for our kids for years. Never tried the after school club, but lots of their friends used it all the time.

It sounds fine to me. You seem to have some doubts though, maybe have a think about what your concerns are.
Your children will probably be tired out at the end of the day and you'll need to be organised to ensure you have something quick to offer for dinner when you get home. You'll get into a good routine I expect and the children will adapt.

It's totally ok. The way I look at it is I have no choice but to and make my peace with that. Initially my DD didn't want to go for the 3 days she goes. Now she wants to go 5 days a week because they do such fun stuff there. Hopefully they'll have a great time there.

I think it's fine and good to get into a bit of a routine with it and keep them in the same place (so no stress of "where am I going today?", "will the childminder pick me up?" etc). The after school club at our school is quite relaxed and they can have some down time there and will have each other so I'm sure it'll be fine.

I don't think fairness really comes into it - you need to work so the children need to be in childcare or some kind.

Personally I would think of splitting it between ASC and a childminder or nanny - just from my personal experience of finding ASC every night a bit over-whelming and stressful/tiring with too many planned activities and not enough down time.

What would happen in Sweden?

It’s not unusual they’ll be fine. What does club offer? If it’s just play and a snack then you’ll need to do homework, dinner after pick up whereas a nanny or childminder might do that in after club time. Plus if they want to do activities after school a nanny who would take them would mean they can go.

They may enjoy it!

They may have good friends there, plus usually various activities/play that are only feasible in large groups

Try and reset your mindset about this - if you are anxious they are may be unhappy, they can pick up on this and assume ASC is some sort of scary thing.

Instead it is a great chance for them to play and have fun, while you earn a salary to care for them.

You can research childminders as an alternative to have in hand if required as well but I agree one setting for four days may well be easier than chopping and changing

It's perfectly fine - I only work 3 days and DS is agitating to go to teatime club 4 days a week because he has FOMO. As they go up the school more and more kids are in 4 days, with fewer in on Friday.

I voted wrong! It's fine but stick with afterschool or a childminder, not a mix of the two. My two are only in three days a week but (reception and y2) but are in breakfast club five days. They are happy there, have snacks, play with children they normally wouldn't. They were sad today because they weren't going!

Depends on the kids and the club - mine are always totally worn out by 3 so in that case I'd push for CM/calm home like setting. But if they're hard to wear out and on the go til 8 happily then why worry at all?

Congratulations on the job! No, I don't think you should feel guilty at all, but if you're thinking this as your kids are tired by 3 some days, definitely push for CM/babysitter at home.

DT’s did breakfast and after school clubs and holiday clubs - usually sports. They loved the extra time to see their friends

It’s fine. After school club is essentially playing with some friends in a supervised setting.

The ASC at my child’s school is brilliant. There are even some private clubs that run after school activities there which some parents also prefer because it means they don’t have to worry about extra curricular activities in the week if one of the clubs provided interests the children.
if you need the job to provide for the children, it’s not as if you have much choice really and you just need to try not to project your feelings to them because children can be quite adaptable.
Personally though, I’ll see if you can negotiate some flexibility at work so maybe that can reduce the day you need

I felt the same as you and we got an after school nanny for the reception year but DS now pesters me to go to afterschool club because it is essentially running around playing with his friends and/or watching tv which are his favourite things to do so please do not feel any guilt about doing it = they will more than likely love it!

My daughter doesn't go to AFC but her friends do and she begs me to sign her up so she can stay and play with them. They will be fine 100%!!!