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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

After school club 4 days a week unfair?

77 replies

Workwork21 · 17/05/2022 11:19

I have a civil service job offer and a single parent. I think it is going to be in the office 5 days a week by the time I start and my mum can do one pick up a week. This leaves 4 days a week where they will need after-school club until 5.30/6pm.

I feel awfully guilty at the idea of 4 days a week ASC. The children are year 1 and year 3.

Will it be too much for them? I'm looking for a childminder/nanny share too even if it just gives then a couple of days ASC and a couple of days in something else.

OP posts:
MintyMoocow · 17/05/2022 16:35

My two loved it.. and they were fed so I could spend time with them when we were all home

marble11 · 17/05/2022 16:38

Hankunamatata · 17/05/2022 16:31

Well doesnt matter if it's fair. You have to work and you need childcare

Exactly this. I found myself a lone parent when my daughter was 2 and she had to go to nursery then breakfast and afterschool club. There is no alternative. You have to work and that's it.

moomintrolls · 17/05/2022 17:06

What makes you think it would be too much for them?

Nathalie1975 · 17/05/2022 17:29

My DD (9, P4 in Scotland) goes to breakfast club and after school club 5 days a week. She loves it. She has made many friends from other classes. She is an only child so it is more fun for her to stay at ASC and play with her friends than come home and be on her own.

museumum · 17/05/2022 17:34

My 8yr old loves ASC. Goes three days a week. Made lots of friends, does art and crafts and plays outside - far more than if they came home with me at 3:15. They’ve gone since starting school (except covid) and will do at least one more year.

CleanQueen123 · 17/05/2022 17:34

Single parent with LA job here. DD started school in September and went to ASC 5 days a week from the start.

She absolutely loves it. Her key worker is fantastic and sussed out how to support her immediately. She prefers it to school.

The same company run holiday clubs and she loves going there too.

I sometimes feel guilty but on the odd occasion she has been at home with me she just moans about how bored she is and that she wants to be at ASC.

SpringRainbow · 18/05/2022 06:37

My eldest actually begged me to send them to After School Club, the day I finally signed them up they were so happy and excited.

In my experience After School Club is nothing but just fun and games with your school friends.

Oh and food, they always came out clutching something to eat as there was ALWAYS extras.

JessicaBrassica · 18/05/2022 07:04

Ours went from nursery 8-6 to school wraparound fare 8-6. DD was only just 4 when she went to school. They both thrived. It's not uncommon that if we go to pick up at half 4 (when DH is home), DS will ask to stay longer so we go back and get him at 6.

Asc provided a consistent buffer between home and school.

It feels a lot as a parent but your kids will find it easier than you do!

ChanceNorman · 18/05/2022 07:09

5 year old dc goes to ASC 3 days a week till 5.30.

He loves it and is cross on the two days when he's made to leave school at 3.20!

Camomila · 18/05/2022 07:28

I think you have to think about the long run with these things.

DS1 does get tired at after school club (goes 3/4 days a week plus one day at a sports club), but we'll never be able to buy in my hometown without me working full time too. If we moved we'd be taking him away from his DGM he sees almost every day, his lovely school that stretches him, and there'd be the danger of him ending up the only non-white kid in his class...so on balance it's better we stay where we are and he is a bit tired.

Vikinga · 18/05/2022 07:35

Dinoteeth · 17/05/2022 11:23

I don't think its that unusual for kids to be in ASC 4 days mine are in 3.

I'd stick with one provider so that they get to see the same friends rather than switching between childminder and afterschool

This

Prometheus · 18/05/2022 07:49

My DS loves after school club and only reluctantly comes home when I pick him up. At after school club he plays outside with his friends whilst at home he just sits and watches TV so he prefers the club.

11stonesomething · 18/05/2022 07:53

This reply has been deleted

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Change123today · 18/05/2022 07:58

It does depend on the child and ASC setting, both my girls enjoyed it. My younger daughter used to ask to go more often and to not pick her up early!

my eldest who pretty much went at least 3/4 times a week to BC & ASC in primary school - she is 19 now and has lovely memories of ASC! No damage done to her.

PurpleFlower1983 · 18/05/2022 08:00

It makes it a long day for a child but needs must.

Infinitemoon · 18/05/2022 08:02

My DS actually begs me to put him in after school club! He gets to play with friends from different year groups. He plays football etc. It can be a positive as opposed to a negative.

Labracadabradoodle · 19/05/2022 00:14

Might be worth finding a childminder for school holidays though.

jellybeans · 19/05/2022 00:22

I felt terrible about this too but DS loved it. His was very much extra playtime and fun stuff. I think it will be fine! Having a good job is so important for us lone parents.

AuntViv · 19/05/2022 00:30

Single mother here and my DD has been not only on after school club 5 days a week since a school age, but also breakfast club 5 days a week. It's what she has always known and enjoyed it but I didn't have the luxury of choosing anything different as I had to work. Yes i felt guilty but I also knew I had no other realistic choice. And I'm working every day mainly to provide for her. I fluked my way into a promotion and although not a huge salary , I know I couldn't get that salary anywhere else with my qualifications.
She's 13 now so not needed anymore.

Stompythedinosaur · 19/05/2022 00:38

It will be fine. Millions of kids do this. A pick up at 5.30-6 is hardly late. My own dc have survived to the end of primary school despite having to go to childcare both both and after school.

timeisnotaline · 19/05/2022 00:40

It’s fine, my ds is 4 days. I’m on mat leave this year so he’s not in after school care and he’s asked to go back to it! Hard not to feel offended 😀

ProclivityForPyrotechnics · 19/05/2022 00:44

Did you go to after school club? Did it traumatise you?

I went to breakfast club from 7.20
Am and after school club til 5.30 pm. It didn't traumatise me. If anything the thing that would have been more traumatising would have been if one of my parents gave up work to look after me after school and we couldn't afford food

ZenNudist · 19/05/2022 07:10

It's fine. Other dc go home and watch TV. What's so great about that?

ZenNudist · 19/05/2022 07:11

Plus the school run is so tedious with traffic and other parents and traipsing into the playground and back out again. ASC much nicer to drop straight to door a bit earlier. In and out!

transformandriseup · 19/05/2022 07:14

I did an after school club every night and I loved it.