Wearing white to a wedding

[Hiimblahblah]

Went to a friends wedding yesterday, and one of the guests was there in a white dress. I've never seen this before and was a bit baffled by it! I thought this was a big no-no?

A friend of mine kicked off about a guest wearing a white outfit to a wedding recently. I too didn't see it as a huge deal. The last wedding I went to I wore a white dress with black polka dots and thought nothing of it.... Perhaps that was 'poor form' too??

Thing is it doesn't necessarily matter depending on the people. At my sister's wedding I wore a white dress but she was in our traditional cultural dress as was my other sister but the other sister was in a cocktail dress of sorts. It never caused any chaos but I can see that people sometimes really just hate their friends and family.

I would never wear white as a wedding guest, unless specifically asked and agreed with the bride beforehand it's inexcusable and terrible manners.

I was at a wedding once where the bride, who is a dear friend but not model-looking, was wearing a pale pink lacy dress that really suited her but wasn't a classic bridal look.

Then some plus one of a cousin of the groom, a girl they'd never met before, rocked up in a snow white long strappy sundress. She looked much more like the stereotypical bride, PLUS she happened to be willowy and stunning, and it was very awkward.

My hunch is that the guest was being a cow, trying to make some point to her boyfriend about how good she'd look if her proposed? Or something. Whatever she was trying to achieve, she definitely affected how much my lovely friend enjoyed her wedding day.

It's a very simple rule to follow and anyone who doesn't follow it, honestly, isn't a very nice person.

I was a guest at a wedding a few weeks ago where the brides sister wore a white lace dress. I think the entitlement is staggering.

oh I'd say it's still bad form!

Its seen as being rude as the bride would normally be guaranteed to be the only woman in white.

Thinking of Sarah in Derry Girls

It’s obviously not about “ not knowing who the bride is” and you sound a bit thick trotting out that trope.

Unless you’ve asked the bride her thoughts on this you run the risk her being in the “white is poor etiquette” and it is really disrespectful to dismiss the thoughts of feelings of the person the day is about, regardless of your own personal thoughts on the matter. If you’re don’t respect the bride enough to just wear any other colour for one day then why are you even attending the wedding?

I was at a wedding where the MIL rocked up in a pure white dress... after all the guests were seated.

we were expecting the bride and she walked in... 🙄

I wouldnt wear it but was at a wedding last week amd mother of the bride in white annd mother of the groom in pale pale "oyster "

Been at a wedding where bride and brides,Sid's were all in white and mother of the bride. All looked fab actually - it was very clear who the bride was.

It’s bad etiquette. Someone dressed their baby girl in a big white frilly dress to my daughters christening and it did annoy me.

Two examples

I don't really see the issue. Two of my friends wore white dresses to my wedding and, while I appreciated that they asked me first, I couldn't imagine being annoyed with it.

Have also seen the grooms mother at a wedding in a flowing white gown. She clearly wanted everyone staring at her on the day. Mission accomplished, she looked ridiculous.

I always thought it was bad form because it signifies that the wearer is trying to say: "He should have been marrying me!!!".

I honestly had no clue about this years ago, I didn’t go to weddings growing up as our family is tiny and not fecund. My mum was equally ignorant as she happily me an old ivory lace dress of hers for one wedding. I wore a white dress with a huge white hat to another.

This was before social media and I do now shudder and wonder whether I gave great offence. Neither dress looked like a wedding dress so it didn’t occur to me.

I wouldn’t do it now I know.

I didn't know that some colours were 'not allowed' until I read it on Mumsnet....I really wouldn't have been bothered if someone had worn white/cream to my wedding. Even if they had shown up in a wedding dress I would have thought it was odd but it reflected on them. I have worn a linen cream dress to a wedding as a guest. It was pretty easy to see I wasn't the bride and could hardly compete, if that's how you look at it, with the bride

I would never wear white to someone’s wedding but I don’t think I would of minded if someone wore white to mine, as long as it didn’t look like a bridal dress.

With a plethora of colours to choose from, there really is no need for anyone to wear white, except the bride (if she so wishes).

My MIL wore a white ankle length floaty dress. “As a surprise”. It was fairly obvious she wasn’t the bride lol…but she did make herself look very silly.

No idea if any of my guests wore white. I was just happy they were there to share it with us.

This is an important point. I'd very happily smack down some idiot who's sneering down at or abusing some poor innocent say late middle aged guest whose most recent a wedding in say the mid 80s [a registry office followed by fish supper job] & who was as as result blissfully aware of all the skyscraper-sized tiers of bullshit that've since been erected by 'the wedding industry'.

Equally I'd join in, even lead, the opprobrium aimed at someone who was very aware of all the modern conventions but who decided to try to cause mischief by wearing white.

I don't think a yone thinks wearing white might confuse guests as to who the bride is... its just bad manners. Like eating with your mouth open or making no effort to introduce yourself and/or talk to people.you are seated with. My latter examples are true in all cases, wearing white just in the case of weddings.

Just like, unless specifically requested by the family, wearing shorts (man or woman) would be considered frivalent at a funeral.

Many people may feel these points of etiquette are outdated and pointless, amd certainly social customs and niceties evolve all the time, but I would personally consider wearing white to a wedding to be rude.

Its bad form and anyone with any manners knows that you don't do it.

My cousin wore white to my wedding I never really noticed at the time but now 15 years if I speak about her to my friends they will always ask was that the one who wore white to your wedding. Crazy that they can't remember her name but remember her outfit from 15 years ago!!