Wearing white to a wedding

[Hiimblahblah]

Went to a friends wedding yesterday, and one of the guests was there in a white dress. I've never seen this before and was a bit baffled by it! I thought this was a big no-no?

In the summer, loads of dresses are floral-patterned on a white or black background. I would say the majority of outfits at any wedding I've been to have black or white on them somewhere. I have never known anyone to even mention it as a thing.

There's just no need for it and I'd assume that anyone I saw doing it was an enormous attention seeker.

I doubt very much anyone would be unaware that it's a no-no (unless they weren't from the UK or something). I was surprised when a friend commented on a guest wearing green to their wedding, though. Apparently it's considered bad luck? I'd genuinely never heard that before, not have I since.

That's entirely different to wearing a white dress though, surely?

So how did this work @StrictlyAFemaleFemale

I assume your sisters wedding dress wasn't particularly bridal? Something that despite being worn as her wedding dress wouldn't be confused with a wedding dress?

I did it once. I was in my mid twenties and it was an off white embroidered skirt and matching sleeveless top. I wore red shoes, fascinator and pashmina with it. I didn't go up of my way to choose white but it just happened to be the colour of the only outfit I could find which I liked. I didn't have any friends to shop with or who saw it until the day so no one told me.

I was blissfully unaware it was poor form and when I see these threads I'm so embarrassed. I hope I didn't cause offence and I clearly wasn't the bride because every knew who she was. Nor was I in anyway putting myself at the centre of attention.

I would never criticise someone for wearing white (unless obviously big and frilly) because sometimes people just don't know this.

I tend to think that wedding guests shouldn't wear white, black or anything full length (unless they are bridesmaids).

That seems to be quite an old fashioned view though (as befits my age!) and I have been to weddings where guests have done all those things. They seem particularly common in the US and I think many UK (or English anyway) wedding traditions are changing as people adopt American customs.

So the basic idea is to not upstage the bride. I have no issue with people wearing any colour as long as they don't upstage the bride.

Loads of my friends were asking about my bridesmaid dresses in advance so they didn't accidentally look like a wanna be bridesmaid which I thought was sweet.

My narcissistic future mother in law was first planning to wear black to our summer wedding in Italy, that didn’t get the reaction she was hoping for (we gave her no reaction), so now she’s picked a white and blush lace dress, knowing my wedding dress is blush and white lace, again we’ve given her no reaction so god knows what’s she’s planning next!

Yes, I do side eye people wearing white dresses to weddings, especially if they look bridal.

Exactly! Hers was knee length shift dress paired with a bright pashmina and bright tights. I was in a floor length dress with a tiara.

There's just no need for it and I'd assume that anyone I saw doing it was an enormous attention seeker.

I agree, surely everyone knows this is seen as bad etiquette? Out of all of the possible colours and prints available if someone wears a white dress with no pattern to a wedding then I'd assume they are both attention seeking and don't give a crap about other people's feelings. Unless the bride has specifically requested guests wear white why on earth would you risk upsetting someone? It's rude.

This is purely a Mumsnet problem.

And even on Mumsnet it is merely off. If it is not grim

Are you saying that Mumsnet invented that you shouldn’t wear white to a wedding?
I heard this as a kid, decades before Mumsnet even existed?

I can't understand all the fuss tbh. Surely simply wearing white doesn't make a person look bridal? So many silly old fashioned ideas about what one should and shouldn't wear - it's tiresome.

Incidentally, I wore cream for my wedding, as did my MIL. It didn't bother me at all (and I wasn't a traditional bride, my dress was actually a bridesmaid pattern - and yes MIL knew what I was wearing as she made the dress!).

I've worn white to a wedding. It was the first wedding I'd been to, I had no idea there was a rule and I just thought it was a nice dress.

And so apparently did the people there - uni mates - as I got a lot of compliments on the dress.

Very much did not look bridal as it was a v simple linen shift and the bride was wearing a big silk meringue.

Without Mumsnet I could probably have lived my whole life never knowing it was a 'rule'.

Completely depends on the couple. I wouldn’t have cared if someone had worn white to my wedding because it was super laid back, but some prefer to follow tradition and would be furious!

Perhaps these people were close to the couple and knew they wouldn’t mind/checked first?

I don't think it is purely a MM thing. I've only been on MM for around a year (give or take a couple months), and yet I have known this rule for many years.

In my friendship group, and for every wedding I have been to - a guest wearing white would have raised a few eyebrows. Nobody would have said anything to the guest themselves (due to not wanting to be rude/cause a scene etc), so the guest would probably think everything was okay, but people would have noticed/commented amongst themselves afterwards.

Although, I've never been to a wedding where this has happened. It's just rude. similar to talking with your mouth full (as a PP mentioned above), or turning away and blanking someone if they try to talk to you/ask you a question. Why are these things rude? Nobody knows - if you have something to say, should it matter if you're eating? If you don't want to talk to someone, why should you politely smile and give a little answer, before walking away? Why does it matter is the dress is white, everyone knows who the bride is?