To feel an utter rage when people talk about wanting to feel nauseous?

[mrsb1401]

I like to think of myself as a fairly level headed person but AIBU to get an absolute seething rage when people in the early stages of pregnancy talk about having no symptoms and wanting to feel nauseous for reassurance?

For context, I am currently 22 weeks into hyperemesis and I can categorically say it's been the most physically and mentally challenging time of my life. I cannot fathom why anyone in their right mind would want to feel like this. Even for 'reassurance.' I just can't.

I suppose no one can truly know what it's like unless they've experienced it. But can we please stop wishing we felt sick. Trust me, you don't want this. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Read the thread fs 🙄

I was very sick all through my first pregnancy. Then I had two pregnancies in each of which the sickness stopped quite abruptly followed by miscarriages. So I was really glad that the sickness continued next time round.

It’s understandable that you feel rage but maybe don‘t take it out on others. It’s not their fault. I hope you feel better soon. I didn’t experience very bad sickness but I can imagine it must be terrible for you

The word you should be using is nauseated not nauseous.
Yes, I’m a pedant

Yabu, from someone who has had hyperemesis 3 times, yes it is awful but other people are allowed to be anxious about their pregnancies.

OK but some women know that a lack of symptoms means a miscarriage...

Err… YABU!!!

It's 8 years since I had hyperemesis and the distance of time means I can feel sympathetic to those wanting to feel some reassuring signs. But I do realise that you are going through something quite hard for people to imagine. Overwhelming and traumatic and draining. So it seems reasonable for those comments to be hard to hear right now. I promise you that it will be worth it though, and though it feels like forever right now, soon this will all fade to a distant memory.

Congratulations op, wishing you well between now and the birth.

I’ve not heard of people wanting to feel ill tbh but morning sickness is thought to be to do with levels of hgc. HGC helps the body to support the pregnancy so I think it is understandable that women who have experienced pregnancy loss (as many commenting on this thread sadly have) would find some morning sickness to be reassuring.

I was sick throughout the first trimester, though not as much as yourself. It’s exhausting and you have a right to be frustrated. I expect this post is an outlet for that frustration so try not to feel upset by some of the equally frustrated replies as pregnancy is a personal and trying time for every woman even if outwardly they seem to be have an ‘easy’ time.

Rather HG than no symptoms and a dead baby, which actually happened. I'm now pregnant again and can't wait to feel symptoms. It will genuinely reassure me. Sorry you're so sick but suggest you stay on your own page. X

As someone who suffered miscarriages and had read that 'morning sickness' was a sign of a healthy pregnancy - I think you are being unreasonable.

Sorry you are having a hard time of things, I'm sure no one means they wish to get hg but having a pregnancy and zero symptoms with history of previous loss or just general pregnancy anxiety can mean you pray for anything and would take anything if it meant you had a healthy and successful pregnancy

Feeling nauseous isn’t the same as wanting hyperemisis op! I doubt they’re saying they want that. 😂

YA a bit BU as not being nauseous makes you significantly more likely to miscarry. But I can see it would be annoying.

Absolutely. I had a stillbirth and the pregnancy following was the worst experience of my life (worse than the actual stillbirth for sheer terror and anxiety) and I needed to feel sick to make me feel my baby hadn’t died. Again.

I wouldn’t wish THAT on anyone.

I'm so sorry. I hope somehow things worked out for you. Huge hugs!!🌸

YABU to feel utter rage. Mild irritation would be more appropriate. I had awful ms with first and hyperemesis with second. It was hideous, but someone else saying they wanted to feel sick for reassurance wouldn’t have made it any worse. It would have elicited nothing more than a wry smile.

Crikey, I'm glad I wasn't on here when I was first pregnant, I didn't get any nausea, I didn't even know I was pregnant until I was nearly eleven weeks (some light headedness and thirst, foolishly thought I might be diabetic), MN would've had me believe my pregnancy wasn't a healthy one!
DM had hyperemesis with both me and my brother I was very premature , my parents were told I was going to be a still birth, clearly I wasn't but I was only just over 4 pounds and dB was six weeks early and heavily jaundiced. The constant vomiting also completely destroyed her teeth. I'm not sure it's as simple as nausea equals healthy pregnancy, lack of nausea equals problems.

Are you the same poster from the other day who was seething at her family for minimising how unwell she felt? Who also raged at other pregnant women for playing down how unwell they all were (despite the fact that many actually felt ok)

The rage, anger and lack of awareness seems familiar🤔

Anyway if it is you then lots of lovely MNers gave you some sympathy, but also encouraged you to have some empathy for the situation of others and to try to develop an understanding that we're all actually different, and that pregnant women without symptoms might also be feeling awful, but for completely different reasons than you.
If it's not you, it might be worth taking that advice on board.

You are being very unreasonable. I have suffered numerous miscarriages and was desperate to feel pregnancy symptoms, to give me a little reassurance that I was still pregnant. Not that pregnancy symptoms would guarantee that everything was OK, but when you are struggling with fertility, you just cling on to any tiny little thing that might give you a ray of hope that you will have a successful pregnancy.

Its all relative. I'm sure that some people who have been through numerous miscarriages, ivf cycles or just anyone suffering with infertility at all would feel rage at you for complaining about HG; they would give their right arm to be pregnant at all.

Pregnancy is a shitty, anxiety-ridden time for lots of people for different reasons.

But it can also be a lovely joyful time. I had a little text book nausea ( worst in the first pregnancy) then absolutely glowed, skin, hair and nails all shiny, enjoyed my food and those precious kicks getting stronger everyday. I think any woman who isn't enjoying their pregnancy for any reason deserves sympathy.

What is it with pregnant posters thinking pregnancy is All About Them, and that their pregnancy symptoms is the only valid ones to complain about….? It’s so odd.

I had two early miscarriages. I was desperate for any sort of symptom - including nausea - believe me.

It's not all about you love! I wanted to feel sick because after having a miscarriage I was super nervous that it would happen again. You raging about other people wanting reassurance makes you sound very self cantered to be honest. Am sure you're just tired and feeling unwell but give it a rest. Hope you feel better soon though

You have my sympathy OP. Sounds like you're really suffering

I have no idea what you're feeling but i can empathise with you and imagine its awful

Perhaps you can try and do the same for others?

Unless you have suffered pregnancy loss you won’t understand the need for reassurance. It’s horrible feeling your symptoms disappear. I’m sorry you are struggling right now but so are so many other women.

I understand your perspective op, as I have had 9 month long HG but I've also had multiple miscarriages, I certainly didn't feel reassured by the nausea with the pregnancies that ended prematurely. You don't deserve the vitriol that you're getting here, there could be more understanding from all perspectives tbh.