To feel an utter rage when people talk about wanting to feel nauseous?

[mrsb1401]

I like to think of myself as a fairly level headed person but AIBU to get an absolute seething rage when people in the early stages of pregnancy talk about having no symptoms and wanting to feel nauseous for reassurance?

For context, I am currently 22 weeks into hyperemesis and I can categorically say it's been the most physically and mentally challenging time of my life. I cannot fathom why anyone in their right mind would want to feel like this. Even for 'reassurance.' I just can't.

I suppose no one can truly know what it's like unless they've experienced it. But can we please stop wishing we felt sick. Trust me, you don't want this. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Has anyone ever wished for HM or just a bit of reassurance via which seems to be a common symptom.

I had repeated HG.

And when I lost babies, and all the pregnancy symptoms had gone, it was awful knowing something really wrong might have happened.

I'm sorry you're so ill. But Jesus, YABU.

I'm sorry you feel so awful, OP.

I have basically symptomless pregnancies and my first five pregnancies all ended in a loss.

I spent the first 18 weeks of my sixth pregnancy convinced that one would end too (until I started to feel movement, which was very reassuring).

It was hideous. In a different way to HG, but still hideous.

I completely empathise with how awful HG is, having had it myself.

But….. I also had experienced recurrent loss (including late second trimester) and it WAS reassuring when I felt horrendous.

I can understand why you don’t need to hear it now but I can also understand the sentiment 💐

Completely this.

as someone who has had multiple losses and different symptoms with each pregnancy, I’d just be looking for any reassurance that things are ok.

unfortunately they never have been. And, ok I’ve never had Hyperemesis but I have known people that have. And IME when it has been so bad they have had extra eyes on them. Which I have never had either.

pregnancy and motherhood are extremely difficult times. Please don’t belittle people wanting a little bit of this or a little bit of that. Everyone is different.

YABU.
Sorry you're having such a rough time, though

Seething rage? Really?

YANBU. HG in three pregnancies, stopped feeling sick after a few weeks of my first pregnancy, found out a week after that I’d had a mmc, sickness is no guarantee of a successful pregnancy.

Remember being so sick on pregnancy 2, and also so scared of miscarriage but hoping if it was going to happen it happened soon because at least I’d get relief from feeling so unwell. Thankfully the pregnancy was successful, I felt sick every day of it.

Third time I seriously considered abortion, even though I really wanted to have a baby because I was just so ill and miserable and struggled to look after dd.

HG made pregnancy the absolute worst experience of my life. Miscarriage and HG are both truly awful.

I've been the person throwing up in the bed next to you, honestly, at times I almost wanted to die I felt so bad. I still wouldn't have swapped places with you or anyone going though what you went throught, it would have been much, much worse.
I'm sorry for your loss and for all of the others on the thread as well.

But it's not reassuring, as the few rare occasions I woke up not feeling nauseous and should have been able to enjoy the brief respite, instead I was convinced I had lost my pregnancy.

But if they don't know how it feels they don't know it's horrendous so how can you be angry with them. Get a grip.

So surely you can see then why people don't want to have no symptoms, as that then means they feel like that every single day?

I've had HG.

I've known I've miscarried before any bleeding because I stopped feeling sick just like that. And in the many times subsequent to that, I did not feel sick at all and always went on to miscarry or have to have an evacuation of the retained products of conception without anaesthetic. Which was the pretty fucking brutal way they did it before mifepristone was licensed.

I was glad I started feeling sick when I was pregnant with DD2. Because that meant that there was at least a chance. Naturally, the novelty wore off by the time I was in hospital, but at least I knew there was a good chance the baby was still alive.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I really am.

I was one of the people wanting to feel sick for reassurance. I was nauseous throughout first trimester, and terrified when I startede feelings better. I had suffered two miscarriages. Turned up to a scan with two pregnancies to be told there was no heart beat. My baby had died. So I get that hyper-emesis is very hard, but I will have my feelings, and you do not get to judge me for it.

OK, so you'd rather have experienced multiple miscarriages would you...
Maybe keep your irrational rage to yourself or you might lose a few friends.

I had two miscarriages and with neither I felt nausea (whereas previously with my DD I had it pretty bad for 5 months).

The next time I was pregnant I did feel huge relief when the nausea kicked in. Of course I hated it, especially 3 months later but it definitely was a relief (also because I bled throughout the first few . months so could do with reassurance. I thought every day I was going to miscarry).

Please note that morning sickness is not HG. Nobody (I assume) wants to have HG. People just want to have a healthy pregnancy. Of course no one thinks that HG is a walk in the park bit neither is s miscarriage.

Best of luck with the pregnancy. Hope you feel better soon!!

I had HG until I was 20 weeks so feel so sorry for you. YANBU but women who haven't had HG have NO idea how bad it it.
It seems to be considered 'bad morning sickness' when it is definitely not

YABU. I have suffered hyperemisis twice now. I also had a pregnancy where I didn't suffer from any sickness and knew in my soul something was wrong and would have liked nauseaus for reassurance. Unfortunately that pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Unless you have been on both sides you can't understand.

Yanbu those people don't realise what they are saying, it comes from ignorance..
This coming from someone who had a blood clot due to hyperemesis

I'm another one with a HG pregnancy with my twins, and one missed miscarriage and one ectopic, both before the twins.

I completely understand these people who want nausea for reassurance as I've been there with a HG pregnancy and also without, and as horrendous as the HG was at times I would still take the hyperemesis than the utter despair, worry and uncertainty I felt with the other two pregnancies at times.

So, I think YABU for feeling you have it worse. We're all different and what they feel is just as valid. It doesn't have to be than one is absolutely better/worse than the other.

YABU. People are saying they want to feel nauseous, not have HG. As you well know, HG is not nausea. They're talking about different things.

It's a reassurance thing, you aren't in a position to judge others for how they handle pregnancy. YABU.

I have huge sympathy for the OP, and think she's got some harsh comments on this thread, but the only person here who seems to be conflating hyperemesis and feeling sick is her - when people say they wish they had nausea they mean exactly that, they don't mean or say they wish they had hyperemesis.

Hyperemesis is awful. That’s not what anyone wishes for.
But a bit of nausea and sore breasts are often the only way many of us know we are still pregnant after previous loss or even just expecting loss due to medical factors.

@Littlebutloud - sorry for your loss. Like you, I've been pregnant several times, the ones when I had no symptoms ended in miscarriage. When pregnant with my dd, I was desperate for the sick feeling, because its a sign its going well. Took to 10 weeks to feel that vomit feeling and then boy did I get sick - but it was a relief.

So many woman have shared stories like this so it wouldn't surprise me at all that a first time pregnant woman would be worried when they didn't feel sick /have any symptoms. It sadly is often the sign of something being wrong.