To feel an utter rage when people talk about wanting to feel nauseous?

[mrsb1401]

I like to think of myself as a fairly level headed person but AIBU to get an absolute seething rage when people in the early stages of pregnancy talk about having no symptoms and wanting to feel nauseous for reassurance?

For context, I am currently 22 weeks into hyperemesis and I can categorically say it's been the most physically and mentally challenging time of my life. I cannot fathom why anyone in their right mind would want to feel like this. Even for 'reassurance.' I just can't.

I suppose no one can truly know what it's like unless they've experienced it. But can we please stop wishing we felt sick. Trust me, you don't want this. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

People say they want to feel morning sickness - not that they want HG.

There is some evidence that feeling sick during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy can be a sign of a healthy pregnancy. I had no sickness at all and while I wouldn't have wanted to be bedridden or experiencing what you're going through, I did keep repeatedly reading that 'morning sickness' was a good sign of a strong pregnancy - so it made me feel very very uneasy that I, quite honestly, breezed through my pregnancy and had nothing. Not a single 'symptom'. It's a long bloody wait for that first scan to know everything is going OK. It stressed me out badly those first 3 months.

However, my 3rd trimester was awful! At 36weeks I got pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes, and my kidneys started shutting down. I was in and out of hospital constantly.

I'm sorry you're being sick but you're not going to get much sympathy if you can't muster any for others.

I had HG with my first and severe morning sickness but not quite HG with my second. I’ve also had two miscarriages. Although debilitating I found HG oddly reassuring. Each pregnancy is different OP, focus on your own. You haven’t walked in their shoes and they haven’t walked in yours.

I hope you feel better soon. This will end and the nausea will stop although it seems relentless and endless when you're going through it. Misery is misery and hg and miscarriage are both horrendous to experience. People say silly things and when you're going through hg you just need support and understanding that hg is utter hell. I hope the sickness and nausea get better as you go through the second half of your pregnancy.

YABU for using pregnant people when only women can be pregnant. That being said, hope you feel better soon. Ginger biscuits always helped me, although I didn't reach the threshold of HG.

I'd rather have HG than worry about miscarriage. So yabvu. It's not all about you you know

This.

From my experience
nausea = hope of a viable pregnance
no nausea = miscarriage

Hope this helps your empathy levels.

Because maybe they suffered a miscarriage , a long fertility battle etc prior? In those early weeks after a tough journey, many are full of anxiety and wanting reassurance of feeling pregnant. You can’t judge them for it really.

Hope your sickness is better soon.

Very gently YABU.

I had HG and it was utterly awful but I also took a long time to get pg and had miscarriages. Even in the worst of the HG I panicked every time I felt marginally less sick that something was going wrong and I was losing the baby again. So even while I felt like I was dying, I was wishing for the nausea and vomiting at the same time.

I hope your pregnancy continues ok and the HG eases / you find the medication balance that helps.

YABU my first pregnancy I didn't have any symptoms, I miscarried. Starting to be nauseous at 7dpo was the best feeling in the world with my second pregnancy. I wouldn't want to be suffering hyperemesis but that doesn't mean wanting to feel the effects of your pregnancy is a bad thing.

YABU. I've had to leave every HG group I've ever joined, as the competitive misery twinned with the weirdly 'Gung-ho' "I told my MiL to shove her ginger tablets up her arse" bollocks, was tiresome AF.

YABU, and narrow minded, and ignorant. But hey! Hope the rant had made you feel better. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

love to all those who have suffered miscarriages.

This basically. No one wants to feel extremely sick, they just want to feel pregnant as it makes everything more real and therefore more reassuring.

I had HG. The put-you-in-hospital-on-a-drip-and-expensive-meds kinda HG. I couldn't give a fiddler's whether anyone else wants or doesn't want nausea, nausea doesn't mean HG explicitly either. Just because you have it doesn't mean you get to police it or anyone else's feelings about their lacktherof. YABVVVU and quite silly. Catch yourself on before this becomes a personality trait.

3 miscarriages in and I would love some nausea in the first trimester as it is strongly correlated with a healthy pregnancy. It can make you feel terrible and still be something others would like. Folks are not wishing for HG, just more normal sickness.

I also had hyperemesis throughout two pregnancies, OP, and by midway through the second one the constant nausea and exhaustion had left me in a really bad place mentally. So having been through that I completely understand how you feel and it's pretty hard to "be rational" or "see it from other's perspective" when you're in the middle of it. I can now I'm out of it, but I don't think anyone should underestimate the psychological (and physical) trauma of HG either. I have had enough nausea to last me beyond a lifetime.

Good luck xxx

I would imagine most people will agree that pregnancy is a constant worry. I don't think any harm is meant when people say things like that. When you've a positive test and zero symptoms you do wonder if everything is going ok. I do think your being a little bit unreasonable OP but it's probably down to how rotten you feel, I hope you feel better soon

YABU.

I went through years of infertility in my early 30s. Did IVF was so happy to be pregnant but was scared as I had no symptoms. Missed miscarriage was confirmed at scan. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy either.

It took me another 5 years to get pregnant, and yes, I wanted to feel sick because I knew that potentially if I didn't it was a sign my baby had died.

You might feel shit but have a bit of empathy.

Really, people want to feel sick? I didn’t have any symptoms of nausea or sickness in my pregnancy and I was very glad about it. Who in their right mind would want to feel sick?

I think yabu. The baby I miscarried I had no nausea at all , unlike my other pgs. I hate nausea and actually being sick but bizarrely it did feel reassuring that my body was doing what it should so I had a healthy pg. Hope you feel better soon, mine was the classic first trimester morning sickness and ended about 14/15 weeks.

I seem to be a rarity on here.
My 5 pregnancies that went full term I had absolutely no nausea or sickness whatsoever.
My one pregnancy that ended in miscarriage was the only one I had nausea with.

You could try reading some of the many responses on the thread that explain why people felt that way.

I suffered fertility problems for years, and also lost 2 babies. I was beyond happy to be feeling sick as it was a sign that my pregnancy was progressing. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I think YABU sorry.

YABU but it's very understandable. I really hope you feel better soon and enjoy your pregnancy a bit more.

My two successful pregnancies I was still vomiting in labour the HG was so bad.

I thought I'd got lucky with my pregnancy in between as the nausea was mild and no vomiting, I lost that pregnancy and two others.

So while HG was hell and I was repeatedly hospitalised, It helped me know my baby was ok.

Yep, you're being incredibly unreasonable.

Sorry you feel so terrible.