Shall I just give up breastfeeding ? Traffic post

[isitmeorzzz]

My baby is almost 3 weeks old.

I've had quite the journey with feeding her. Starting with sore / bleeding nipples and the wrong latch. I have sought lots of advice from midwives and lactation consultant's consultants during this time.

We worked out the latch was too shallow and have worked on positioning etc. The latch is now OK most of the time. I think possibly 80 percent gold latch and 20 percent bad latch. Where she slips a bit etc. or sometimes she won't open her mouth wide enough for me to get a deep latch.

In any case, I feed her for hours and hours and she hardly ever just settles after. Sometimes she does, but rarely. I top her up with formula after most feeds and it seems like she wants more and more formula now.

Occasionally she settles after having fed on the breast, but those times are few and far between. She falls asleep after breastfeeding and as long as I hold her, she'll continue to sleep. As soon as I want to put her down, she starts rooting again.

Anyway I'm getting to the point where she's having 400 or so ml of formula a day and I'm thinking why am I even spending all this time feeding her if she's basically a formula fed baby anyway ? What's the point ? I have a two year old and she's really suffering, as I can't play much with her and I'm constantly sitting feeding the baby. I can't get anything done etc around the house and it's just really hard.

What's the point ? Has anyone been in this situation ? If at least she was exclusively fed, I would carry on. But she's starting to need more and more formula. What is the point? It's really impacting my home life and toddler very badly at this point.

So sorry to hear about your dad OP, I hope he makes as good a recovery as possible.

Exclusive pumping is hard. I managed it for four months before throwing in the towel, and I didn't have a toddler. I also started from birth, never really breastfeed "naturally", not sure if this makes a difference.

What I did once I was past the "few mL of colostrum" stage was pump 7-8 a day for fifteen minutes each time, with one session always at around 2-3 am. The night time session is said to be vital. This quickly increased my supply and once I was getting 100 mL plus per session (that's both boobs combined) I reduced the frequency to 6-7 times a day, 15-20 minutes a time, though that's still every 3-4 hours. I was soon getting around 180 mL per go and far outstripping baby's demand.

If you want to try it a good double pump is an absolute necessity, but you don't have to spend lots. I used the bellababy pump off Amazon is under £50 was amazing for me. You also need to stay super hydrated. Just drink constantly.

Good luck OP, though remember formula is fine too. The thing that made me give up was my daughter getting more frustrated with her mum being hooked up to a machine unable to interact with her much, so am not sure it would be workable with a toddler.

Oh God, So sorry to hear OP.

I posted about expressing below. But I will tell you that when DD (DC2) was 6 weeks I too had a close relative in hospital which was very distressing and I found it very very difficult to keep feeding, and expressing whilst stressed and worried was hard. In the end I did a mix of bf and formula I til 3 mo and then exclusively formula for her.

Pumping - either have baby nearby and look at her or look at photos of her and try and feel lovely things. Basically you need the oxytocin for the let down reflex to really get going, otherwise the milk stays stubbornly locked up in your boobs and suction alone won't get much out. Also stroking the breast gently a bit like baby's hand resting there can help. I'm sure there's more recent advice on this, my youngest DC is now ten. Sending you & your Dad all good wishes for recovery.

@isitmeorzzz I’m so sorry to hear about the accident. Please give yourself a break and swap to formula exclusively. Your child has had 6 weeks of breast milk. They will be fine exclusively formula fed now. The actual benefits of breastfeeding are not as clear cut as the NHS make them out to be if you have access to clean water, can afford plenty of formula and good sterilising equipment. It makes me so sad to see women kill themselves over breastfeeding and being wracked by guilt. If it’s easy fine but if not formula is a perfectly good substitute. It’s time to start enjoying your baby.

I just wanted to update what's been going on. So I'm still putting the baby on, for most feeds. Baby seems to stay latched. But if not, then I just give formula.

I have to do top ups, unless I let baby sleep on me. If baby sleeps on / near me after a feed, everything is well for 2-3 hours, even after just my milk. If I try to put baby down elsewhere, I can't. Very strange. Does anyone know this ? So if I actually need to be away from baby, it's only possible after formula.

I'm also pumping as much as I can.

But at the same time, I don't feel guilty to give formula at all. I am not going to stress myself out about it and feel like I've failed every time I've given formula. I think that's what's made the difference. I may never exclusively breastfeed, but something is definitely going in. But I think if I just stayed there close to baby at all times, no formula would be needed at all.

Hope you are ok and so long as baby is fed I wouldn't stress where it's from.

I bf only so only really know what I was taught in classes but I remember them saying formula is harder to digest and sits heavy on baby's tummy so they sleep better after compared to breast milk that's made for baby's system.

Sounds like you've had loads going on, try not to stress yourself over this.
Fed baby = happy baby.