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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Amber Heard - but wait hear me out!! Watch this

449 replies

MrsMingech · 13/05/2022 19:09

So I was on the fence with these two, and I read the threads but didn't follow them and when I searched them I only found and old one.

My search efforts suck, clearly.

Theres many recordings, albeit put together by a clear DP Pom Pom shaker. But it can't be denied (unless it's suggested it's another woman).

Its so bullying, awful
and nasty, I couldn't list to it all.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=e5SaPZpFhcg

if there's a more relevant thread that I suspect I've have missed please link and I will ask for this to be deleted. I swear I did search first.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Friars23 · 05/06/2022 20:30

@ChesapeakeEmbarrassed, my v simple understanding was Depp’s expert witness said they could tell the photos had gone through Apple photo 3 software which could be used to either simply re size or actually edit. It was impossible to say which of those was done by the metadata? Did I understand correctly?

In addition two photos AH submitted of herself she claimed were taken at different times when the time stamp showed they were taken at the same second and visually they were clearly the same but one showed redder cheeks?

Tillsforthrills · 05/06/2022 20:50

minutesturntohours · 03/06/2022 15:39

You mean midlife? She isn't. She's denying she meant we shouldn't believe women, because thats not what she said.

It's all very lovely and sweet automatically believing all women, but it's all very naive, and it's very damaging.

So sad to read your last sentence, because the overwhelming majority are telling the truth about being raped and can’t get a conviction bc of the lack of evidence as in AH case.

Amazing that, because of lack of evidence she isn’t believed.

FrippEnos · 05/06/2022 21:17

Pumperthepumper
Johnny Depp is in court again in July with a new assault case against a former colleague, who claims he punched him in the ribs. Wonder if that one will be televised?

A lot has been said about JD wanting this case televised but it was the judge that actually wanted it and allowed it to be televised.

I suspect that it will be the same in the trial that you have mentioned if it gets that far.

Friars23 · 05/06/2022 22:14

Amazing that, because of lack of evidence she isn’t believed.

I would say it’s not lack of evidence that made her lose but the evidence she provided did not match with her claims. She would describe a vicious beating that she said left her with black eyes, severely bruised face and a broken nose and then submit a photo of her supposedly after the beating with some indiscernible marks. From the description she would have been black and blue. It just didn’t match and her credibility was shot to pieces. Also twice after she claimed a broken nose and bruising she saw a doctor on one of the occasions and a nurse on another. Both their notes recorded no broken nose or bruising.

AdamRyan · 05/06/2022 22:26

Friars23 · 05/06/2022 20:30

@ChesapeakeEmbarrassed, my v simple understanding was Depp’s expert witness said they could tell the photos had gone through Apple photo 3 software which could be used to either simply re size or actually edit. It was impossible to say which of those was done by the metadata? Did I understand correctly?

In addition two photos AH submitted of herself she claimed were taken at different times when the time stamp showed they were taken at the same second and visually they were clearly the same but one showed redder cheeks?

Exactly. Heards expert found the original and the image hadn't been altered even if the file had been.

I did watch the experts and I also am somewhat familiar with the topic. Amber's expert witness is a forensic examiner of devices and was very informative about what EXIF is,and what it does and doesn't tell you.

I always think if you have to say "you obviously didn't watch...." to make your point, you haven't understood what I'm saying.

Friars23 · 05/06/2022 23:33

Exactly. Heards expert found the original and the image hadn't been altered even if the file had been.

He agreed under cross examination he couldn’t say that for all photos. I have just gone and watched some of the expert witnesses on the photo evidence again. On cross examination Depp’s lawyer asked Heard’s expert witness if he agreed some of the photos (such as one showed by Depp’s witness of one of Heard with reddening on her face, note not black and blue as you would expect from her description of the beating) had been put through an editing software application. His reply was that he would say they were put through software that could either edit or sort, so editing was a possibility.

Also Depp’s lawyer got the witness to agree two photos of Heard he put up side by side looked visually different even though the data showed they were taken at the exact same second. The only logical explanation for that photo was one had been edited.

Friars23 · 05/06/2022 23:36

Sorry typo in my above comment, should be ‘those photos’ not ‘that photo’ in the last sentence.

Friars23 · 05/06/2022 23:45

And just one more comment to add to my one above, when I said not all photos I meant Heard’s witness agreed under cross examination that he could not say all photos that were submitted as evidence were originals as he didn’t look at them all.

minutesturntohours · 06/06/2022 14:02

Tillsforthrills · 05/06/2022 20:50

So sad to read your last sentence, because the overwhelming majority are telling the truth about being raped and can’t get a conviction bc of the lack of evidence as in AH case.

Amazing that, because of lack of evidence she isn’t believed.

Comparing ah to real rape victims is an absolute disgrace.

She made no attempt to go to a criminal trial!

AH is the one doing damage to real victims by muddling the waters with cases just like this

OvaryActions · 07/06/2022 06:20

Amber is to blame for the low conviction rate for rapes? And for the fact that victims don't come forward? Because she's "muddled the waters"? Wow, all these years of pondering and now we know the root cause!

I also made no attempt to go to a criminal trial when I was raped @minutesturntohours what does that mean? What are you trying to say?

What is a disgrace is that a thread would descend into posters openly singling someone out and accusing her of lying about rape.
THESE actions harm rape victims, these fucking debates make victims feel they will be judged and called a liar. It's not this one woman who damages victims it's people like you, perpetuating this disgusting attitude. Arguing it for fucking days too..
It's not your fucking place to say whether ANYONE has been raped. Only an absolutely vile person would think it acceptable.

OwlBarn · 07/06/2022 13:56

>>>It's not your fucking place to say whether ANYONE has been raped. Only an absolutely vile person would think it acceptable.

That's not really fair is it as a general statement? Society, as a democracy, has developed a system of justice that determines in law whether if someone is prosecuted for rape whether they commited that crime or not.

IF there has been a criminal trial AND that person has been acquitted, then in law they did not commit rape.

It's a bit much to say that only an absolutely vile person would think it was unacceptable to form a view in such a case.

In the Heard case, all of the evidence was broadcast live. Plenty of people watched the whole trial - as opposed to those who only watched sound bites or dipped in and out. It's all still available on line to watch. Again for people who watched the whole thing, they are in as good a position as the jury in that case to form their own opinion.

An opinion is just that though - it maybe right it maybe wrong but part of a democracy is that freedom of thought and opinion is permissible. Even if others don't like it or disagree.

Friars23 · 07/06/2022 16:40

What is a disgrace is that a thread would descend into posters openly singling someone out and accusing her of lying about rape.

I think the starting point should be to take any person’s claim of rape seriously. However, if there has been a trial - be it criminal or civil - examining the claims and a jury decides the person claiming rape is not credible due the various different factors presented at court and those watching the trial come to the same conclusion, a person is not vile to say they do not find the claim credible. Another person may make a different conclusion but neither is wrong to form their opinion if they have taken time to examine the case as much as a lay person can.

On a slightly different note I found this short video by an American attorney who has both prosecuted and defended in sexual abuse trials v useful. He says that Heard’s lawyer, Elaine Bredehoft, claim on shows after the trial that Heard’s case showed no victim will be believed if they don’t have hard evidence is utterly false and thus a damaging message to any victims who wish to come forward about what has happened to them and tell their story.

minutesturntohours · 07/06/2022 17:15

OvaryActions · 07/06/2022 06:20

Amber is to blame for the low conviction rate for rapes? And for the fact that victims don't come forward? Because she's "muddled the waters"? Wow, all these years of pondering and now we know the root cause!

I also made no attempt to go to a criminal trial when I was raped @minutesturntohours what does that mean? What are you trying to say?

What is a disgrace is that a thread would descend into posters openly singling someone out and accusing her of lying about rape.
THESE actions harm rape victims, these fucking debates make victims feel they will be judged and called a liar. It's not this one woman who damages victims it's people like you, perpetuating this disgusting attitude. Arguing it for fucking days too..
It's not your fucking place to say whether ANYONE has been raped. Only an absolutely vile person would think it acceptable.

Assuming you haven't read the full thread.

I have said, repeatedly, that I don't think not going the police is proof of her lying, I understand that lots of people don't go forward. I just said that it wasn't a criminal trial, because, well , it wasn't.

Nobody is singling her out. It is a thread on her court case so naturally all allegations have been discussed. I don't remember blaming her for low convictions, what I said was cases like these (hers) could affect victims, we agree there. But that's Johnny's doing, not hers.

A judge found him successful which means her allegation has effectively been thrown out. I'm entitled to an opinion.

Several people on this thread have said similar - do you intend to address them all or just me?

Friars23 · 07/06/2022 18:37

I don't remember blaming her for low convictions, what I said was cases like these (hers) could affect victims, we agree there. But that's Johnny's doing, not hers.

minutesturntohours, are you able to explain what you mean by that’s Johnny’s doing? Thank you.

Friars23 · 07/06/2022 18:37

Sorry I forgot to bold the first paragraph in my comment above.

minutesturntohours · 07/06/2022 19:18

Friars23 · 07/06/2022 18:37

I don't remember blaming her for low convictions, what I said was cases like these (hers) could affect victims, we agree there. But that's Johnny's doing, not hers.

minutesturntohours, are you able to explain what you mean by that’s Johnny’s doing? Thank you.

Oops! I meant the other way round!

Friars23 · 07/06/2022 19:58

Thanks minutesturntohours that makes much more sense!

SpeckofDustUponMySoul · 07/06/2022 20:03

Couldn't get past a minute, due to the highly annoying naked, gesticulating American lady with talons.

SlatsandFlaps · 07/06/2022 21:55

Gettingthingsdone777 · 13/05/2022 21:42

I haven’t listened to this specific audio but I’ve listened to 4 hours plus of these recordings (quite ill and bored at the moment) and I see that no one covers themselves in glory here, but on balance I think Johnny Depp is predominantly responsible for the abuse in this relationship. He fits the profile, and his behaviour fits the profile to a tee, and that’s if you only take his word for it or go by his text messages and the recordings. It’s possible he met his match in AH but he is the least innocent here imho.

Now, I would not be happy if anyone spoke to me or treated me the was AH treats him for parts of these recordings but this really has all the hallmarks of what happens to women after staying in an intensely emotionally abusive relationship long term. There are very few ideal victims of abuse, and sadly people with pre existing mental health problems often become the target of abuse in part for that very reason. The abuser can say “Yes, it’s true, I lost my temper once or twice, and I really regret it, but only because she’s crazy! She pushed me to the edge! This isn’t me, I’m a good guy usually”.

I Don’t buy it from him, I get why people do- but allow me to bore you with some thoughts on this. Here is a list of the red flags Mr Johnny D was waving, often long before he met 25 year old-little known-actress Amber Heard; they are text book indicators of abusive tendencies to a greater or lesser extent:

  1. History of destroying property, NB not his own property (so he’s not just “out of control” his violence has a purpose)
  2. history of arrest for violent assault of paps
  3. previous partner, Ellen Barken, reportedly accused him of throwing a bottle at her
  4. most of previous partners were far younger than him (abusers love to have power over their targets -this is a guaranteed way of doing it- if you doubt it think of what age you are now and minus 22 years from it and consider all the advantages you would have over a person that much younger)
  5. an addict who blames his bad behaviour on his addictions
  6. previous partners describe him as insanely jealous and possessive (he admits to this on the tapes)
  7. history of cheating on his partners
  8. history of -being best friends with serial rapist and abuser Marilyn Manson,defending convicted rapist Roman Polanski publicly and working with him, campaigning for the release of convicted child rapist/murderer Damien Echols (he had his conviction overturned in fairness because of Depp’s campaigning but weird hobby horse none the less). His hero was Hunter S Thompson and Johnny would hang out with him and was quoted joking about “not beating Kate Moss up enough” with him- KM was GF at the time- oh the lols .
  9. he has an extensive collection of knives and guns (MAJOR red flag)
  10. the relationship got serious very quickly, he declared love for her very early on
  11. He lavished gifts on her along with her family and friends (this is a classic abuser move- if anyone ever does this run for the F-ing hills)
  12. his “jokey” texts to Paul Bethany about Amber which included gems such as “let’s drown her before we burn her, I will f**k her burnt corpse to make sure she’s dead” I don’t know any non-abusive man who would even consider this kind of imagery for a joke about someone they respected
  13. He wrote messages and words like “whore” on a mirror, in blood, using the bloody stump of his severed finger, during a fighter with AH
  14. Called her horrible names as well, called her fat etc, accused her of being a whore- all the classics
  15. threatened to hurt himself during arguments with her
  16. on camera violently bashing things and throwing stuff around
  17. the vast majority of violent abusive men claim they were abused and were only abusive in self defence.
  18. he’s very deliberately charming and “humble” on the stand yet the recordings and track record show a different story
  19. abusers tend to be much better at covering the tracks of their abuse than their targets are at creating the perfect victim persona- many many abusive men use their partner’s mental ill health against them for custody bids, to get family and friends on side or just simply to win.

There are loads more red flags really, and red flags are not proof -but if this man didn’t instigate the abuse in this relationship I’ll eat my hat. The play book couldn’t be more stereotypical, and he was clearly the one with the most power in this relationship to start, and he’s shown a lot of abusive or abuse adjacent behaviours in the past. Just because someone speaks calmly and seems even tempered doesn’t mean they are sane one. Abuse is not about losing control, it’s about gaining it over another person by any means necessary.

"Fits the profile" are you serious?!?!?! So because he's male, he must be "the least innocent?!" He was abused by Amber for years. He ended up terrified of her. Yes he lashed out eventually (reactive abuse - normal) but he never hit her. She battered the poor guy!

minutesturntohours · 07/06/2022 22:33

Mm.

Thankfully, absolutely hee haw of this is evidence, it would be thrown out as circumstantial, and Depp was cleared.

Btw, Amber was also done for "deliberate malice" towards her fake allegations - that's how the defamation was done.

Had she have stuck to the facts, she might have stood a bit more of a chance. Her lies cost her.

AdamRyan · 07/06/2022 23:23

"Actual malice" is a US legal term and doesn't mean the same as malice in common use. The judge was very clear about that in jury directions.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actual_malice

minutesturntohours · 07/06/2022 23:43

AdamRyan · 07/06/2022 23:23

"Actual malice" is a US legal term and doesn't mean the same as malice in common use. The judge was very clear about that in jury directions.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actual_malice

Heard did show malice though - and intimidation of the jury that if Depp had shown, you've have been up in arms.

Friars23 · 08/06/2022 22:12

AdamRyan · 07/06/2022 23:23

"Actual malice" is a US legal term and doesn't mean the same as malice in common use. The judge was very clear about that in jury directions.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actual_malice

Malice as a legal term in the US means in this context saying something the person knows not to be true. The jury concluded AH knew she was lying saying JD abused her.

minutesturntohours · 08/06/2022 22:16

Camilla's interview was very interesting. She said their strategy was only to work on Amber's own words and prove they were lies.

Not quite the strategy used by Amber's team.

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