To think this cake is inappropriate

[Shitfuckcommaetc]

I don't understand, in what world, it's appropriate to make a cake (for a child's birthday!) showing the death of over 1500 people.

In 100 years time will we be making cakes of Grenfell tower?

It wasn't. She was just being snide about autistic kids and their parents.

Then, when called out on it, tried to make out that others had the problem because they didn't understand sarcasm. Y'know, like autistic people.

Goodness no that's not how I intended at all. I was moaning a small group not all

Just to be absolutely clear - I am autistic. I made a mistake. I was referring to the small groups of self proclaimed 'autism mums' online who do nothing but preach entitled ent for both them and their children. I didn't mean all mums of autistic children, of which I have 2. I got it wrong and apologised. I'm not really articulate enough to get it right all the time but I honestly thought most people had come across this before too.

My autistic 19yo sometimes makes remarks about "autism moms". He isn't ableist or a bigot, he's just a fairly politicised autistic person who disapproves of a particular (largely online) culture among a minority of parents of autistic people - the ones who champion ABA and other such abusive conversion methods, the ones who post videos online of their autistic children having meltdowns, with no regard for that child's privacy or dignity, the ones who bang on about grieving for the child they should have had. He finds that culture offensive and repellent, and while I have had many conversations with him about meeting people half way and understanding that people DO grieve for their alteredb expectations while still loving their autistic child, I can see his point.

"Autism mums/moms" is a phrase often used in certain online communities (especially autistic communities) to refer to that particular subset of parents, who are seen to be damaging to autistic people and their place in society. It doesn't mean all parents of autistic children.

Yes I was going to mention that, and thought it was inappropriate at the time and was surprised the media didn't say anthing. If for example she wanted to dress up in the clothes just have an edwardian themed partydon't....

Agree with the pp that said it is weird that some tragedies seem to be ok to be "glamourised" (for lack of a better word) - e.g. schools often do ww2 dress up days, as did my local supermarket for some reason, but others dont....

@Greensleeves

This is exactly what I meant, I just didn't get it right.

But where are the "autism mums" on this thread that need calling out?

There was no mention that the cake was for an autistic child. Two posters said their autistic child may have had obsessions with titanic or disasters, but there were loads more posters who said the same about their NT child, or that they themselves had obsessions as children.

But hey let's blame autism mums for not parenting correctly, irrelevant to this thread though it may be.

@thedancingbear

when called out on it, tried to make out that others had the problem because they didn't understand sarcasm.

What I actually said was I got it wrong. I was meaning it sarcastic but I got it wrong. I also apologised for that, how many more times do you think it would be reasonable to 'call me out' before it becomes a bigger problem?

I posted and didn't read the room well or explain what I meant but when I acknowledged this and apologised that should have been it.

Like I said, I got it wrong. Please can you maybe accept that, and my apology?

I assume that I'm the 'autism mum' that you are referring to (what a nasty, sneering ableist comment by the way). If you think that me plonking a model ship on top of a cake to make a lonely, confused, disabled little boy happy during lockdown is offensive then maybe you are the 'batshit' one.

Is it wrong that the disaster was used as the background for entertainment in a cheesy love story? The cake is no more inappropriate than that.

@R0ca75

If you are offended by my referring (badly albeit) to a certain group of people then it's safe to assume you are not part of said group. I made a mistake, apologised good knows how many times, I don't know what else I can do.

It's a bit odd, but we live in a world where pirates and Vikings are often glorified as amusing or thrilling adventurers. How many innocents were robbed, raped, or murdered at their hands? Will terrorists someday be seen in the same sanitised light as old-timey pirates?

Isn’t that OP’s point. Of course it is tactless, as is a cake depicting the Titanic sinking.

Same

One of the other (many) titanic cakes coming up on google has people drowning and a few hanging off the ship, good grief.

This!!! I cant imagine another country dressing up as their invaders as a laugh. I can’t imagine the Greeks going around dressing up for lols as Turks or Italians or any other recent country that’s been invaded. I’ve always thought it’s odd.

I don't think it's that bad, assuming the child has a special interest. I think it would have been better not to have it sinking though.

DD1 loved cats so she had lots of cat cakes. I remember the one she requested to be a cat sitting up. Dh did it. It looked like a dalek until he iced it.
Dd2 liked dancing so we had a dancing star etc.
Ds at similar age was obsessed with the Bismark. No, we didn't do him a cake with one one but he'd probably have loved it-except he might have objected to the idea of anyone eating it. He'd probably have preferred one with the Fairey Swordfish that sank it though. He loved those planes.

But that’s exactly why it would be wholly inappropriate to make a Grenfell Tower cake at any time in the future. People died and it would be so disrespectful, to their memories, to their families, to their friends. This is what OP was trying to demonstrate.

Maybe a bit hijacking. But I thought this was inappropriate. Glitter made a lot of people very unhappy. I would not like to see this on a child.

It's great baking/icing skills but the subject matter is questionable.

Well, the tragedy has already been used for entertainment.

@NightmareSlashDelightful I'm so sorry. I remember watching footage of Grenfell and it haunted me for weeks. Actually losing someone you know in a fire like that is 50 shades of horrifying.

🎣

It’s definitely unusual for a child’s cake but I have met more than one child who had a real special interest in the titanic. In fact I know a 6 year old boy who has a titanic water bottle for school and builds titanics in various positions out of Lego most days. Knows all the facts about it. He would LOVE that cake.

I have a similar feeling about this cake as I do about the person I know who sent her daughter to school dressed as Anne Frank on World Book Day.