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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this cake is inappropriate

181 replies

Shitfuckcommaetc · 13/05/2022 07:41

I don't understand, in what world, it's appropriate to make a cake (for a child's birthday!) showing the death of over 1500 people.

In 100 years time will we be making cakes of Grenfell tower?

To think this cake is inappropriate
OP posts:
TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 13/05/2022 10:00

fluffycereal · 13/05/2022 09:36

Tbh I think it's really weird and they 'autism mums' who think it's acceptable because it is their child's special interest are letting their autistic children down. It's perfectly acceptable to tell a child, any child, that they cannot have a particular cake. Feeding into the glamorisation of death because a child is autistic is bloody batshit.

"Autism mums"

Are you having a laugh????

Ffs.

Elsiebear90 · 13/05/2022 10:01

I remember the Titanic movie came out when I was at primary school and loads of kids including myself were obsessed with it, bit random for a five year old nowadays to be into it though. I think having a cake of the Titanic is fine, but depicting it sinking is in poor taste and a strange choice for a five year old.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/05/2022 10:03

Yep, awful.
a local pub had a bouncy castle of the upended ship. Was glad to see it taken down within a day.

LoveSpringDaffs · 13/05/2022 10:05

TheBirdintheCave · 13/05/2022 09:31

Whole Titanic, sure, why not. Sinking Titanic? No, that's definitely bizarre.

I'm autistic and totally understand obsessions with things. My weird one is plane crashes. I love watching AirCrash Investigation. I wouldn't, however, ask for a cake made of a plane crash that would just be awful.

Also it's for a five year old? If it's in reference to the film then a five year old shouldn't be watching it anyway as it's rated a 12 so that in itself is really strange. My son is nearly two and I couldn't imagine him watching that movie in three years time. He got scared of Scrooge when we watched The Muppets Christmas Carol! 😅

Kids don't work like that though. A child I know LOVES documentary stuff about dinosaurs, things that look like real dinosaurs and sharks, no matter how gory! He cries watching a kids cartoon about dinosaurs (dinosaur train I think it's called).

Peoplepissmeoff · 13/05/2022 10:07

My son is obsessed with Titanic and wanted a Titanic cake for his Birthday last year. It didn't happen in the end but if we'd gone ahead with it it wouldn't have been quite like the one pictured but the Titanic in tact which I don't think is as bad.

Shitfuckcommaetc · 13/05/2022 10:12

Posted this morning on a FB site asking for someone to make a cake like the one pictured.

Also the cake in the picture clearly says "happy 5th birthday"

OP posts:
Dinosauratemydaffodils · 13/05/2022 10:13

And does that say a 5th birthday?! Random thing for a 5 year old to be into

At 5 my ds was obsessed by the Titanic. He then branched out to maritime disasters in general, got stuck on the Hood and Bismarck for a bit and
now at 7 is fascinated by aircraft carriers and Vulcan bombers.

I personally prefer it to pokemon which many of his school friends seem to be into.

thedancingbear · 13/05/2022 10:20

ImInStealthMode · 13/05/2022 08:08

I don't think it's comparable to Grenfell. The titanic sunk a long time ago and there is no one surviving affected by it.

In fairness OP compared it to a Grenfel cake 'in 100 years time' when the same will apply.

Yes, but the reference is still crass. Why fucking go there? It obviously risks distressing and offending people.

Cloud16 · 13/05/2022 10:35

The kid could just be a big fan of the film. Although if that was the case, maybe the addition of Leo and Kate would've helped matters.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/05/2022 10:36

Cloud16 · 13/05/2022 10:35
The kid could just be a big fan of the film. Although if that was the case, maybe the addition of Leo and Kate would've helped matters.“

at 5, really?

ThinWomansBrain · 13/05/2022 10:38

but did it taste nice?

NippyWoowoo · 13/05/2022 10:43

Shitfuckcommaetc · 13/05/2022 10:12

Posted this morning on a FB site asking for someone to make a cake like the one pictured.

Also the cake in the picture clearly says "happy 5th birthday"

Sure.

Cloud16 · 13/05/2022 10:49

@MrsSkylerWhite I was obsessed with aircrash documentaries when I was 5 because my dad loved them 😂 so doesn't seem entirely impossible?

Canyouengineerfreespeech · 13/05/2022 10:50

Lot’s of young children are really interested in the Titanic. There is a whole Titanic industry - films, books, mugs, the Titanic Experience in Belfast etc. At ine stage DS would have loved this cake.

In addition to the stories of tragedies, it was also a story of survival, immense bravery by some and immense self sacrifice by others. Or at least that is how it is now portrayed. I do not think you can compare it to a recent tragedy like Grenfell where people directly affected are still alive and suffering as a result.

And I think that cake is awesome!

Backtomyoldname · 13/05/2022 10:51

SoupDragon · 13/05/2022 09:23

Currently we watch with a degree of excitement Russian tanks be blown up in Ukraine

speak for yourself.

Hang on…. Not me personally.

But the way they’ve gone viral, facebook feeds, seen on TV news. Perhaps I should have phrased it better?

I’m not cheering anything out there.

SailingNotSurfing · 13/05/2022 10:55

CockleburIck · 13/05/2022 08:39

This exact picture is from a baking site, posted about 3 years ago online. Not sure why you're posting about it on here now.

It also doesn't say anything about it being for a child.

That’s interesting. So not a child’s birthday cake after all? Hmm.

REP22 · 13/05/2022 10:56

Absolutely appalling. I'm disgusted. The former president of the British Titanic Society was once asked to comment on a bath toy on the market of an inflatable Titanic which came with an inflatable iceberg you could repeatedly crash it into. Equally tasteless. He said that you wouldn't make a toy out of a skyscraper with a plane that you could repeatedly fly into it.

Awful that such an appalling loss of life could be reduced to a novelty cake.

LindaEllen · 13/05/2022 10:56

I know what you mean, BUT you also have to remember that the Titanic was brought into a new light thanks to the movie industry. The child probably isn't a fan of the true story, rather the movie.

Have you never been on a cruise and seen people doing the Jack/Rose pose on the edge of the ship? That's glamourising it too, no? But the MOVIE, not the real life, tragic event.

badger2005 · 13/05/2022 11:01

There's an interesting question here about time and tragedy. Standardly in society we react totally differently to hearing about long past tragedies than recent tragedies. E.g. you can learn how many people died in the battle of hastings as part of a history lesson, and there may be no serious atmosphere in the room at all. If you find out it was twice as many people as you thought, you can just say 'oh right 2000 not 1000' without any emotional reaction at all, and none is expected. You can look at a Bayeux tapestry of Henry getting an arrow in his eye entirely without the hushed atmosphere you'd get if you were looking at recent news footage. Horrible histories focuses on these 'gory' bits because they know many children will find them interesting, and if they are from long ago then there is no attempt to make children take them seriously instead.

Something happens to how people react to tragedies as they get further into the past, and I think that society with its views about what is 'tasteful' and what is not reflects this.
Many people are similarly short-sighted to tragedies happening at the current time, but at a great distance. And some people think that they shouldn't be. What difference does it make whether people are nearby or far away? If they are suffering then they are suffering. But - unlike distance in space - distance in time really does seem to make a difference. Do we ever think of having a silence for the people who died in the Persian war?
I wonder whether for the OP this whole attitude is just distasteful, and we should always think about the human suffering of an event we're presented with no matter how long ago it was? I've got some sympathy with that. Or whether the Titanic is just not long enough ago yet. To help figure this out - OP, what would you think of a history fan getting made a cake with the Trojan horse on it? A lot of people died in that war.

Gwenhwyfar · 13/05/2022 11:03

HaggisBurger · 13/05/2022 07:50

Yeah really fucking bad taste. Doesn’t matter that it’s 100 plus years ago imho.

Well I think it does matter a bit that there's nobody alive now who survived.

YouHaventDoneAnyWork · 13/05/2022 11:05

Problem with that cake is the icing to sponge/filling ratio is gonna be way off. That’s why you shouldn’t have ship hulls on cakes.

GeminiTwin · 13/05/2022 11:19

@CockleburIck it says 5th birthday on the cake?

Oscarthedog · 13/05/2022 11:20

That's said the Titanic is a beautiful ship and significant. I wouldn't have a issue with baking a Titanic cake not in a state of sinking. I make models and the have just started a Moskva ship as it is a significant vessel like wise I would happily build a Titanic or Bismarck in their original state. The sinking and the loss of life is only part of the life of these vessels there is nothing wrong with appreciating the rest.

PostItNoteScribbles · 13/05/2022 11:20

Agree its a bit odd

CalpolOnToast · 13/05/2022 11:25

Scabbyknackers · 13/05/2022 07:49

I agree it's in rotten taste. And does that say a 5th birthday?! Random thing for a 5 year old to be into

Mine was into Titanic and other ocean liners at 5 and still is, I wouldn't allow this though