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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bathing with kids

89 replies

mummasaurus · 12/05/2022 18:33

My dad is keen to be a hands on grandad to my DS, and when he comes to stay (long drive so stays 1 or 2 nights) he likes take care of the evening routine and putting DS to bed. This is great and I'm appreciative of the help, the only thing is my dad gets in the bath with DS. I'm not sure this is appropriate though, especially now that DS is getting older, 6. Keen to understand others views on this

OP posts:

worraliberty · 12/05/2022 18:35

Why do anyone else's views matter?

If you're not sure that it's appropriate, put a stop to it.

Beautifulmonster87 · 12/05/2022 18:36

No it’s totally inappropriate. Parents fair enough but really not necessary for him to have a bath with your son, in fact it would concern me if my dad did the same.

Flopisfatteningbingforchristmas · 12/05/2022 18:36

As long as DS is completely free to say no then it’s fine. Ask DS in advance what he thinks.

AdriannaP · 12/05/2022 18:37

Not appropriate. My DC is 6 and I wouldn’t allow this.

Oysterbabe · 12/05/2022 18:39

Not a chance in hell would I allow this.
You know most abuse is carried out by family members right?

GarlicGnocchi · 12/05/2022 18:39

worraliberty · 12/05/2022 18:35

Why do anyone else's views matter?

If you're not sure that it's appropriate, put a stop to it.

I agree with this. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks if you're not happy with it.

BattenburgDonkey · 12/05/2022 18:41

I wouldn’t allow it, at 6 your DS will be starting to want a bit more privacy around his body and it’s important to learn to keep your private’s private. But asides from what anyone here says, or your dad, you aren't comfortable with it so don’t allow it OP.

TruJay · 12/05/2022 18:43

I didn’t grow up with a dad but if fil or mil got into the bath with my kids I’d be mortified, no way. My mum would also never do this and I am beyond close with my mum and I trust her wholeheartedly to care for my kids. Give them their bath and do the bedtime routine absolutely but actually in the bath with them, no.

Parents get in the bath with their own kids and siblings bathe together, that’s it.
I absolutely adore my nephew and have bathed him many times and had him overnight (he’s just over 1) but I would never contemplate getting into the bath with him, he’s not mine.

I love playing in water with him though, I take him swimming weekly to do this.

I am in no way suggesting your dad is odd to do this, I’ve just never heard of anyone doing this. Suggest he takes ds swimming if it’s the playing in water aspect.

Also, if you feel it is getting/already is inappropriate then that alone means it needs to stop. Your child, your choice.

Moodycow78 · 12/05/2022 18:43

I have to say I wouldn't allow it, parents ok but that's it IMHO.

AmyandPhilipfan · 12/05/2022 18:44

At 6? How do they even fit? I had to stop before my daughter was 3 as there just wasn’t room for the two of us! And it wasn’t exactly relaxing for me - I only did it because she went in without a fuss if I went in too.

maras2 · 12/05/2022 18:44

So wrong.
DH and I both bathed with our own DC's, but no way on God's earth would we do it with our DGC's.

Landlubber2019 · 12/05/2022 18:45

No I pretty accomodating towards grandparents, but this would not fly with me.

Daffodilsdance · 12/05/2022 19:00

No , I would not allow that. Totally unnecessary, even if your son does not mind . I have a ds6 and I don’t think he would mind but I certainly would.

Darbs76 · 12/05/2022 19:01

No, as much as I trusted my dad I’d never have put any of them in that position. I’d just say now your child is a bit older can he stop sharing a bath with him.

Undecicive · 12/05/2022 19:03

Absolutely noone else other than parents. By the age of 6 I'd even find it wrong with my own kids.

LondonQueen · 12/05/2022 19:09

It's a little strange, and by 6 he is definitely too old to be bathing with grandad.

Favouritefruits · 12/05/2022 19:10

Why does a six year old want a bath with Grandad? I’d tell your Dad your son no longer wants a joint bath as his a big boy.

User354354 · 12/05/2022 19:17

Erm. What?! This so weird and I can't believe you have allowed it for so long. Put a stop to this immediately. Why on earth does your dad want to bath with his GS

miltonj · 12/05/2022 19:18

No-one other than parents and siblings should bath with kids. Anything else is inappropriate.

Sunnytwobridges · 12/05/2022 19:19

6 is too old to be bathing with an adult. This wouldn’t fly with me,

lisavanderpumpscloset · 12/05/2022 19:20

Nope. Not even if he's wearing swim shorts.

Profanasaurusrex · 12/05/2022 19:22

I think it’s inappropriate at age 6 really. Sharing a shower cubicle if need be after swimming or something possibly ok, but just no need to bath together. My DD is 7 and just starting to shower independently after swimming but we haven’t shared a bath for about 3 years…. It’s too squashed!
I’m not assuming anything untoward about your DF at all but your DS is getting to an age where he’s too old.

Footloose78 · 12/05/2022 19:23

Wtaf? No way

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 12/05/2022 19:24

Seriously weird and inappropriate- and worrying tbh, no adult needs to get in a bath with two children.

Ginger1982 · 12/05/2022 19:26

No, it's really weird. I wouldn't be happy with this.

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