Would you be offended by this?

[Worried1305]

We are getting married in 3 days time. Two of our guests have just dropped out. We have already paid for their meals.

I am considering asking another friend of mine (who wasn’t originally invited as we were trying to keep numbers down) if she’d like to join us for the celebration. I can’t decide if this is a nice thing to do or horribly rude.

Obviously it’s very likely at this stage that she already has plans, and I won’t be at all offended if she can’t now make it. But AIBU to ask if she would like to come? If this happened to you, would you be offended?

If it was for a wedding for 2o- thrilled!

If 500 guests... Less so😁

It would depend on the size of the party and your relationship really...
If its a smallish wedding eg15 and they know that then yes just be honest and say so ..you wouldhave automatically invited them if more numbers.....if its loads of people and they'll feel like z listers then no

I’ve been to a wedding as a last minute guest to fill a slot. Dh and I were Brenda and Kevin on the seating plan. It was great! It was a bonus to get to go.

No, not nice. Turn the tables and, be honest, how would you feel about it? I think it's an odd thing to do. Your friend isn't a substitute for any non attendees.l

Yeah, being honest I would be offended and wouldn't attend.

This has happened to me before, I was an afterthought guest invited to an evening do (I still suspect even now that it was a present grab). I was school friends with the bride and it was the groom who sent a group message via social media to a few of us who weren't considered good enough for the first lot of invitations. It was really rude, made worse by the manner in which it was done, and have had little to no contact with the couple since.

Offensive. If you're great friends let her know the reasoning but wedding outfit etc at short notice, poor form.

You know your friend better than us OP. Definitely make sure no gift as that would be properly cheeky.

I wouldn’t go if it was me as I’d know I wasn’t good enough to be invited in the first place, but the original invitees were…..

Wouldn't bother me, I can appreciate limited numbers and trying to invite everyone

I wouldn't be offended at all. Everyone knows especially at the moment lots of events have to be small & couples have to really shave the guest list down. She's your friend so call her & tell her the situation.

If you werent bothered about having them there before then don't invite them now just to fill seats

I did this but with people who had already been invited for the evening. And I gave them a few more weeks notice. They were happy to come.

Personally yes I’d be offended as I would assume (rightly so) that the only reason for my invite was because you didn’t want to lose money on meals & have empty spaces at a table. B & G probably won’t remember past wedding day but I’d always remember my friend thought of me as 2nd best!

I would be offended but I'd still go if I didn't have plans. I love a wedding.

Just be diplomatic when you ask them.

Tell them not to bring a present though.

I kinda was thaybfriend invited last minute. It was for a uni friend who I had lost touch with but she kept in touch with about 4 mutual friends. I never expected an invitation as we didn't speak but she had a last minute cancellation so I went.

It was fun as I had other friends going and it got the bride and I back in contact again.

If they are an evening guest and you're really diplomatic I think it's fine. Being invited out of the blue with 3 days' notice - not so great.

I'd be happy to be invited and would understand completely, but then I do love a wedding

I wouldn't go and I wouldn't really appreciate being an afterthought.

It's basically offering someone a free meal, some booze and a party! Life's too short to get offended by that.

This has happened to me before. I wasn’t offended at all. I understand you can’t invite everyone to a wedding.

I wouldn't attend at such short notice.
Would feel used if a friend invited me this way.

3 days is such short notice. I would think it offensive to directly invite anyone as your guest. Instead, I’d pick two guests you know well that might want to bring a +1 with them and tell them that they can.

I worked in an office and a new woman started. She had moved to the area because her fiancé lived here and they were getting married three months after she arrived. Obviously none of us in the office were invited to the wedding, because she had sent out invites before she moved here.

A week before the wedding she had several people drop out and asked us in the office if we would like to attend. We all went and had a fabulous time because we knew it was a lovely venue with great food. We put together and gave her money towards her honeymoon for a present.
So personally I think it was a win/win for all parties.

Yeah, I'd be offended. I'd politely decline, but I'd be biting back the urge to tell you to shove it up your jacksie. Nobody wants the consolation prize.