Changed name for this as some may not agree, but I felt better at the time and still do to this day, more than 30 years later.
in my early 20’s (still at uni, first time away from home and quite naive) I met a lovely man (so I thought) who really swept me off my feet with many grand romantic gestures. I got pregnant fairly quickly, got married as he so wanted to have a family etc. really wooed me. However, he soon started working late “to save money for baby” (which I never saw) but soon somehow started to suddenly meet old friends he’d not seen in years and was staying out all hours, it was always a “reunion”. I was far from home, living quite a way from my uni thst I had to stop attending, so no access to my uni friends, and no car either. I’d be up all hours waiting for him to come home. First night he actually didn’t come home, I was so worried he’d had an accident and didn’t know if I should start calling hospitals, police etc. (this is 1980s- no mobiles). I rang his work when it was the start of the business day and sure enough, he was at work. When he got home that day, he’d said he met some old friends unexpectedly and they had some drinks as a reunion and he fell asleep at their place. Was the last straw for me. I rang my mother to ask if I could come home. She’d been very angry about my situation (specifically my decision to keep the baby) so told me I’d made my bed and had to lay in it. I was stuck
this continued. I did, however, go “home” to visit for a specific holiday and because my grandmother was very ill in hospital with cancer. I got stuck there as I developed a pregnancy related illness and had to be hospitalised until birth. My DH was there for the birth, all seemed well. We decided to live in the area so we could have my family support. (My DM changed her tune after she saw her first grand child).
shortly thereafter, DH behaviour started up again BUT he was saying he was working late. Well, now I had access to a car and people to watch my baby so I drove to his work - closed, no one there, no cars in car park. I did, however, see his car in the car park of the hotel across the road. I parked nearby and waited. Yes, sure enough he was with an OW. I confronted them. She had followed him from our old area (many , many hours away) and had moved to the area for him, she knew all about me and our baby. Even suggested we all live together as a solution!
hurt like hell but I kept my resolve that I deserved more and we split up. After that, he showed no interest in our baby. Never showed up for visitation and also didn’t pay any maintenance. Once his wages started being attached, he quit and moved back with OW to his home town and started a new process of changing jobs every few months so his wages didn’t get attached for maintenance.
I heard a year or so later that he had a baby with OW. He then did the same to her except he moved to another country with his new OW to avoid paying maintenance.
To my petty moment. I sent OW a congratulations card, an oversized one at that too. big colourful letters across the front CONGRATULATIONS and inside it read “you got everything you deserve”. Unlike me, she knew what he was capable of and had knowingly helped screw me and our baby over. To this day, I still feel good about sending that card. I no longer care about Ex and have no feelings at all in fact months/years can go by without thinking about him. But I could never understand how another woman could knowingly and willingly do something like this to another woman.