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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

600 replies

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 15:25

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

OP posts:
BetsHilton · 11/05/2022 16:34

Well what are you going to do @trapperjohna you need to put the foot down and refuse to go and ask for somewhere nice to be booked for your day. Or say instead of a meal you’d prefer a spa day and do something nice for yourself. Your DH and family sound completely self obsessed and like they don’t care about you at all. It’s a disgrace on a special birthday

Blackbird2020 · 11/05/2022 16:34

Plus he gets mardy with you when you tell him it’s not something you’d like to do for your birthday dinner?!

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 16:35

DH can be a bit of a jokester so I wouldn’t 100% rule out he’s actually booked somewhere really lovely and is winding me up, but I think seeing how upset (and tbh, anxious) I am about the booking at the Sheffield place he’d have come out with it.

Him and DSS really want to go, I think it genuinely is their plan.

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

OP posts:
CottonSock · 11/05/2022 16:35

It sounds absolutely hideous. Would have to pay me to go there.

user1471538283 · 11/05/2022 16:36

What? You pay to be insulted?

I wouldnt go. If we went anywhere and the servers insulted us fur would fly.

Greensleeves · 11/05/2022 16:36

The rudeness wouldn't bother me, but I've watched the clip and fuck me, it's so contrived, poorly acted...toe-curling. And so NOISY in there as well. Doesn't sound like much of a fun night out, really. Particularly as the food is bog-standard fried crap.

Thehonestybox · 11/05/2022 16:36

If you got to normal restaurant...the odds are 50/50 that the staff will be rude to you there, and it's NOT a joke. Go for the novelty one, it sounds like an experience!

BetsHilton · 11/05/2022 16:37

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 16:35

DH can be a bit of a jokester so I wouldn’t 100% rule out he’s actually booked somewhere really lovely and is winding me up, but I think seeing how upset (and tbh, anxious) I am about the booking at the Sheffield place he’d have come out with it.

Him and DSS really want to go, I think it genuinely is their plan.

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Again - what are you going to do about this? It’s your birthday. It’s not about your DH and stepson. Why are you taking this bad treatment of you?

Handyweatherstation · 11/05/2022 16:37

Just read the OP out to my OH and we're both absolutely gobsmacked that anyone would choose this for their DW's birthday and their 50th at that.

The place your husband has chosen sounds like a vision of Hell.

Giraffe888 · 11/05/2022 16:37

This restaurant is local to me and all the reviews I’ve read of it are awful. It sounds like my idea of hell and I completely understand why you wouldn’t want to go!

CurbsideProphet · 11/05/2022 16:37

@trapperjohna I would absolutely hate that. I once went to a cabaret night type thing in a bar as my friend was in it. Felt on pins the whole time that I was going to be singled out and made to participate. Could you and your DD have a lovely civilised meal out together on the docks and leave your H/DS to the diner? Very rude of him to have booked something he wanted when it's your birthday.

Sortilege · 11/05/2022 16:38

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

I hope she’s not a university student. The cognitive dissonance of woke v boak might do for her.

Pipsquiggle · 11/05/2022 16:38

Just been on the website. It's a diner with rude service. Burgers & chips.

I wouldn't go - that's it, end of.

I can see how teenagers might think this is just hilarious, let them go.

I too would be fuming if my husband booked this for my birthday.

Get your DH to take DC. You go out with friends for cocktails or go to a spa. Then get your DH to take you somewhere lovely

Vikinga · 11/05/2022 16:39

Cancel and make your own booking si you go exactly where you want.

A few of my friends have been to the restaurant but it sounds stupid to me and I wouldn't have wanted to go there for my birthday. Even if it had been really nice I couldn't be bothered with a 4 hour round trip just for a restaurant!

jauney · 11/05/2022 16:39

And of all the amazing restaurants he could have chosen in Liverpool too!

AtticAttack3000 · 11/05/2022 16:39

My husband is shit at surprises. He then gets very grumpy when I don't want to do the "nice surprise" he has arranged for me and complains that he can't do anything right. It was one of the reasons we ended up in marriage counselling. It was good as the counsellor explained that if someone does something for you which you haven't asked for and don't want, then you are not obliged to feel grateful, and it is okay to say that you don't want to do that thing (and that it often shows thoughtlessness on the part of the other person as they haven't considered what you want).

diddl · 11/05/2022 16:40

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Fuck no!

Don't teach her to keep the peace & put yourself last!

AtticAttack3000 · 11/05/2022 16:40

I also agree Karen's sounds shit. Not my idea of a fun night out.

WeOnlyTalkAboutBruno · 11/05/2022 16:40

I mean obvs you’re not unreasonable to not want to go there. Fuck that shit, especially on your birthday.

But…I mean he’s your husband. Just tell him no. Why is that such a drama?

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 11/05/2022 16:40

The insults aside, who the heck thinks that a burger joint is suitable for a 50th?

YANBU, I feel really sorry for you OP.

Crystalvas · 11/05/2022 16:41

Tell him to go himself that your not going. Your birthdays meant to be a celebration not a nightmare.

Crunchymum · 11/05/2022 16:41

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 16:35

DH can be a bit of a jokester so I wouldn’t 100% rule out he’s actually booked somewhere really lovely and is winding me up, but I think seeing how upset (and tbh, anxious) I am about the booking at the Sheffield place he’d have come out with it.

Him and DSS really want to go, I think it genuinely is their plan.

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Why are you not telling them to cancel and book somewhere else?

You need to stop being so passive and tell them it isn't happening.

If you go along with it, its on you.

AryaStarkWolf · 11/05/2022 16:41

trapperjohna · 11/05/2022 16:35

DH can be a bit of a jokester so I wouldn’t 100% rule out he’s actually booked somewhere really lovely and is winding me up, but I think seeing how upset (and tbh, anxious) I am about the booking at the Sheffield place he’d have come out with it.

Him and DSS really want to go, I think it genuinely is their plan.

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

wtf? Why? Why should you "make the best of it" He hasn't booked a non refundable holiday, it's a restaurant that can easily be cancelled and a new one booked? I'm very annoyed with your DD now as well!!

UserError012345 · 11/05/2022 16:41

Menu is crappy for a 50th birthday celebration!

madasawethen · 11/05/2022 16:41

I saw the 2 wankers who came up with the idea.

I find it hard to believe it doesn't violate work safety regulations. Seems all the waitresses are women so I can imagine the potential of them being assaulted abused.
OP Ring them up or email them and cancel it and book a place that you want to go.
I don't even have words to describe a spouse who would book something so juvenile and misogynistic
for their DW big birthday.