To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

Someone tell me about The Fawlty Towers experience. Is that a pop up? Have they had to license it from John Cleese?! Is John Cleese in on it? 😳

I would rather sit at home on my own than go to somewhere like that. If friends booked it then I could maybe understand it (would still be pissed off though) but my partner…. that would be a completely different level of pissed off

There's a Chinese restaurant called Wong Kei in London which is famous for its rude staff. We went once in 1996, lasted approximately 90 seconds before we flounced out in a huff and haven't been back in 25 years! Why would anyone want to go somewhere like that?

(And apparently the food is awful anyway. Their only selling point is rudeness.)

I would just say no. If he wants to take the children himself on another occasion then he can . But definitely not for your 50th.

it would be my idea of hell as well .

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Make the best of it? Quite what sort of 'best' can you make about a 90 minute drive to somewhere that's guaranteed to provide you with a truly hellish evening? Forget that! If they find the idea of the place so intriguing then they can take themselves there on a quite different night. Your birthday meal should be about you and the sort of treat that you'll love. Not an anxiety-inducing excuse for a celebration.

Does your DH have form for misreading the room so comprehensively?

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Fucking hell. I hope you set her straight about this. She should expect more from a partner than this self-absorbed bullshit.

it sounds stupid and god knows why anyone would want to go there im sure , its not about what he wants though is it ?
its your 50th im 50 this year as well and if i had a partner i want them to book a resturant they know im going to bloody like !

i wouldnt book somewhere i know my dd wouldnt want to go for her birthday ,
id tell him to cancel it and book somewhere decent or he will be going alone if it was me

Just to add, I've just remembered I've had something similar. DH left my birthday plans to the last minute, booked an escape room off the back of a random colleague's recommendation - no offense if anyone loves them but it's my idea of hell.

DH had no idea what they were or that the one he picked was horror movie themed - just wanted to add to the romance! It was miserable, I was livid and the poor employee pretty much ended up counseling us through it over the speakers as DH was too scared to squeeze into the small dark spaces and I flat out refused and went on strike . Funny in hindsight but awful at the time

So, to be brief - don't do it. They can go anytime. It's incredibly selfish if they make your day about their needs

Just tell them that you appreciate them booking a meal out and are looking forward to being all together. This place looks funny so you can see why it appealed but it's really not your cup of tea for your own birthday and actually reminds you of being bullied at school. Could they please chose something else more up your street and save that for one of their birthdays so when the birthday person gets additional targeting they can enjoy the experience.

@trapperjohna - I bloody hate 'jokes' like that. Agree it's just stressful and disappointing- and I find it hard to then enjoy it- the anticipation and getting ready is all part of it. So you want to know in advance.

It's like "surprise holidays" - just pack, it's a surprise! No. Way.

I'd get your DD to ask your DP if it's a wind up or for real. Then she can report back. If it's in fact somewhere decent you can relax.

It sounds absolutely awful.
I'd be livid if he'd booked it for me
Added to that the fact that ' Karen ' is now used as a misogynist term for any woman having the audacity to have an opinion 😡

What a dick

werdly, my DH 50 last weekend and we went to an incredible Chinese restaurant in the Baltic triangle. Pricey but fabulous.

refuse to go and PM mr if you want me to tell you where we all went (can’t remember the name)

I wouldn’t like it either. But then I wouldn’t sit around expecting my husband to book somewhere and then complain when he does! If you have somewhere in mind, then just book it, or tell him what to book. It won’t spoil the experience because you had to do this.

It looks shit on so many levels I don't know where to start.

She's already told her Husband she wouldn't enjoy it and asked him to cancel and he called her a spoilsport and presumably refused to cancel because she's still talking about going and "making the best of it"

I’ve just looked it up and it sounds awful. I think anyone who calls another person a ‘Karen’ really lacks intelligence to be honest and I hate this mickey taking, it’s gone too far. I wouldn’t be going if I were you.

@trapperjohna you sound a bit resigned to going but I’m hoping you’re going to put your foot down? If he’s having you on and he’s really booked somewhere nice then great but I’d be making my feels about it known now, just in case.

What a terrible “concept” that place is. I’m sick of all this misogynistic Karen shit. It’s just another way to attack women of a certain age who aren’t afraid to stick up for themselves and have the audacity to know their own minds.

I think I'd be showing him how easy it is for someone to insult another person in their own home rather than travelling to Sheffield to pay for it. Then I'd do it again till he got the message. What a dolt, you have every right to be furious.

I've heard of this restaurant wouldn't be my cup of tea. I'm sure they will be busy ATM and the waiting times for food will be rediculous as with most new places and new staff getting to know they're new jobs. Have a look at the reviews try and put him off. If not tell him he can go on his own.

You could phone and say "I'm just checking on the booking by Trapper on x May. What time is it booked for please?"

Then they will (hopefully) say we don't have a booking under that name - and you'll know it's a hoax.

Nope. Not a chance. It's your birthday.

This just makes me angry. Please do not go. Tell them you will gladly genuinely tell them to eff off if they need to be abused for sport, but for your birthday you are doing something that YOU enjoy.

you shouldnt have to “make the best of it” for your special birthday! theres plenty of time to cancel and book somewhere else. if your dp is so adamant let him go with dss and go to the liverpool restaurant you had in mind with dd! you shouldnt go somewhere that would make you unnecessarily anxious, especially on your birthday

Don't teach her to keep the peace & put yourself last

I agree with this. Your DD will see you have a miserable night just to make your DH and DS happy, on YOUR birthday! No. Time to put your foot down and show your DD that women don’t have to take this kind of shit. The whole “Karen” business alone is enough to put me off, let alone the insults. Don’t go, you will be miserable and unhappy, on your birthday.

Just don’t go. Tell him in advance you’re not. He can’t make you!