To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

There's a Chinese restaurant called Wong Kei in London which is famous for its rude staff. We went once in 1996, lasted approximately 90 seconds before we flounced out in a huff and haven't been back in 25 years! Why would anyone want to go somewhere like that? (And apparently the food is awful anyway. Their only selling point is rudeness.)

I've been to Wong Kei loads of times, the service is brisk but they've never been rude to us. The food is okay, nothing special, but it's relatively cheap.

The place the OP's husband is suggesting sounds appalling, there's no way on this earth I'd ever go there.

I have actually visited this restaurant and it's more fun than you guys think. Definitely worth a visit! Not much for the food, just the experience really !

if it's your birthday treat, he should think about what you'd like to do. It sounds as if he's trying to fob you off with a restaurant HE wants to go to (so he can talk about it at work and sound trendy?) or have a night out for everyone else. Just say no, you'd rather go somewhere else.

This, but I might leave DH out of the second booking.

I agree with this. When I turned 50, I stopped doing shit I didn't want to do, which is liberating.

My 19 year old DD is a bit disappointed for me but thinks we should try and make the best of it.

Just say 'no' @trapperjohna

What have you both learned growing up about prioritising mens choices over your own.

Just say no.

OP I am really not seeing the problem here. You don't want to go so just tell your DH that. Tell him that he can go with the kids another time but for your birthday you will pick the restaurant. Why are you so passive, what's really going on?

Looks awful and I would be gutted - not even about the food but how on earth can someone who is supposed to know you and love you think this is a good idea for your 50th?!

Be honest - say it's your idea of hell and whilst he and ds are free to go whenever they want, you won't be doing anything that would really upset you for your 50th birthday!

@Tinktravels

I thought it might be. A lot of people would probably get a kick out of it but some people take themselves to seriously. Did they serve drinks?

Poor you OP. Your OH & 17 year old stepson get to decide on a misogynistic unpleasant burger bar for your special birthday and your DD is so passive in the face of her father and stepbrother's selfish thoughtlessness that she thinks you should just go along?
Maybe you and she could book a nice hotel (on the waterfront) and dinner out instead? Have some mother and daughter time together.

Why on earth would you make the best of it? You say firmly, I'm not going there for my birthday, end of!

I am sure by this age you have had people be rude to you; why would you pay for it? What a stupid concept. You are not being pathetic.

I had a milestone birthday this year. I have a particular interest in a certain historical period. DH booked a dinner and weekend stay in a hotel that celebrates that period. Because it was after all my birthday, not his. I would have been furious if he had booked at any kind of novely restaurant.

I despise anyone who thinks the Karen meme is in any way funny, witty, clever , useful or appropriate.

I'm very happy to be rude to them, which I will be using colourful, polysyllabic words without ever calling them a Karen.

I really have heard everything. For me a big part of the enjoyment of a meal is the service. Good service can make a mediocre meal better.

I cannot fathom why anyone would pay good money for bad service.

@Tamzo85
Yes drinks and cocktails available I didn't try them though!
Kind of reminds me of a restaurant in Disney world that I visited called 50s primetime where they would treat you like children!
Telling you to take your elbows off the table and taking away your phone if you were on it at the table. Things like that x

I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun. OK, fair enough. Now you've made it clear that it will not be fun for you. If this was just an outing, it'd be fine for him to still go, take the children/family if they're keen, etc. Even encourage you to try it. But it's your birthday, so if you're telling him this is something you don't want/won't like, then he needs to adjust.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner. You are correct; this is not OK for your birthday and now he knows it. Even if he doesn't understand your anxiety, he has to take your word that you don't want this. Can you either suggest a specific place to go instead or give him strict parameters of the kind of place you'd like, maybe with a few examples? Somewhere nice in central Liverpool, ideally on the waterfront is pretty clear and still allows some choices for him if he wants to surprise you. Your birthday is not a time to experiment or "teach" you what you should like; he can do that another day. (Or not.)

I'd be upset by the mere act of someone giving me something I'd hate for a milestone birthday.

And it’s burgers ffs. Can’t believe the hospitality industry is so desperate they will go to the trouble of opening something as tacky as this. I can’t imagine it is the sort of place you would give repeat business to.

and the name is yet another reason to body swerve.

I knew it was going to be this just from the thread title. I would hate it too and it's not the kind of place anyone should be taken to without their prior knowledge and full consent. What a horrible idea for a birthday 'treat'.

Don't go along with this OP. Please cancel and do something lovely instead.

Bloody Hell. This is hideous in every conceivable way.

To be honest if I am paying good money to eat somewhere then the food is my priority. Crap food added to crap service and then they give you a bill at the end of it……..

Tell him that you are not going but that you don't want him to miss the experience so for the next three nights running you are going to verbally abuse him at every tea time/evening meal.

Completely agree.

He should have discussed that with you, it's your blinking birthday!

You would not get me within a million miles of the place reminds me of when an ex wanted me to go to see Bernard Manning for a treat!

Its the Karen one isnt it. I know a lot of people who have been an loved it for a laugh. Not sure its special Birthday material though.