To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

So surely to God you're refusing to go?

Please tell me you're not going??

90min drive to be insulted. My idea of hell 😫

Just tell him you don't want to go there and to cancel it! It's your birthday and your treat, you shouldn't be stressing over it, you should be looking forward to it.

Then book something nice in Liverpool instead.

Sounds fucking awful. How can anyone enjoy that? YABU. Your husbands being a selfish twat.

Sorry YANBU

I would not go

Oh dear, he's got this very wrong hasn't he. He should want to cancel and book the meal you will enjoy, it's YOUR 50th.

FFS op! It is YOUR birthday and YOU dont want to go. Your updates make it sound like youre going to be a martyr and go anyway. Dont.

be firm, ‘you need to cancel this restaurant and rebook something I would enjoy.’

what a selfish bastard your husband is.

Dont go just because he's booked it, there is no 'making the best of it'

Its your birthday, tell him you're not going, end of conversation.

Is this the first time he's done something so ridiculous and thoughtless?

Is it the first time he's not apologised when you've pointed out how completely inappropriate and selfish something is?

This is such twattish behaviour.

That sounds horrendous! Tell your DH to cancel the booking and book the restaurant you like yourself. If it's too late to book a table at a restaurant you like, I'd still cancel the horror show in Sheffield and stay home with a takeaway.

I just don’t understand these threads.

You’ve said you don’t want to go - primarily because it sounds really shit and not the sort of thing you like.

In a normal relationship, you’d tell your husband and that’s the end of it.

But, no.

You’re obviously going to lie down, write ‘door mat’ on your forehead and let your family walk all over you.

And this thread will run and run while everyone froths over it, and the OP dithers hopelessly.

Just so, so strange.

Hang on, why would you need to go and make the best of it? Just tell him to cancel the whole ridiculous thing and to make a booking where you'd actually like to go. It's your 50th. They can go to that hideous place for their own special occasion, not yours.

Fucking hell. If my DH pulled a move like that he wouldn't even be invited to the nice restaurant that I would book instead.

It's a place for people with no personality to eat shit food and instagram their night out. It's also obviously for teenagers and early 20s, and the food is shit. You live in Liverpool, all those amazing restaurants in such beautiful settings. Say no and go the the Art School Restaurant or somewhere on your own or with the 19yo and have an amazing night.

Everyone telling the OP to say she won’t go - stop wasting your breath.

I mean, nobody with any cop on needs to be told to say no to this.

The OP is clearly unable to say to her husband and son, so she’s going. End of.

I’ve seen these places on TikTok, they wouldn’t appeal to me and I’m pretty sure the novelty will override the food quality.

ring and cancel it and rebook for your preferred place. Then tell him.

Op this isn't just for your birthday, this is your 50th.
If you feel unable to say it to him you MUST write it down and give it to him.
It's not ok!!!!
Tell him you don't want to go. You want a smart meal at a place on the waterfront in Liverpool. It's your big birthday and that's what you want. There's no way anyone who loved you would refuse to change the booking in those circumstances.

Awful. My dh books things he wants to do and then turns it around as it’s a present for Me. For the most part it’s been OK, annoying but Ok, but I wouldn’t go to this and I’d tell him why. He’s making it all about him.

This!

why are we conditioned to make the best of a shit show for our own birthday.

why are we conditioned to make the best of a shit show for our own birthday.

Um, we aren’t….?

Have you been training your DD long? To put up and shut up and make the most of what the men and boys want to do?

Mmmm, clearly the DD is, don’t upset the balance and all that. Personally I don’t mean me, I was talking hypothetically but whatever.

this is probably true unfortunately.

OP, if you PM me your husband’s name and the date of your birthday I will cancel Karen’s for you and book you a nice place in Liverpool.

Omg!

I would not give them a penny or waste a single moment of my life in there!