To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

Tell him you aren’t going and that if he chooses to book somewhere decent that you would like then you’ll be delighted. Otherwise he and dss go and you will have an evening out with dd or with friends that is more to your taste.
He is not being vaguely considerate of your feelings, so why are you averse to potentially hurting his by refusing to go?

Please say a firm no OP. I'm gutted at the thought of you spending your 50th there. Stick up for yourself. Get your daughter on your side too.

I apologise if this has been suggested before as haven’t read through every response… could it be that he’s actually organised something else, like a surprise party/meal and has just told you he has booked this place hoping to throw you off scent?

OP why have you resigned yourself to going when you really don't want to instead of putting your foot down about it?
Call and cancel it yourself and make a booking for somewhere you want to go.
Don't let DD think it's acceptable to make the best of a bad situation on your special day.
Don't let DH and DSS think that what they want trumps what you want.
Please grow a spine and make this right for yourself.

@Tamzo85, then you make a special trip to go, but the OP hates the idea, and I actually think you are being really nasty to suggest she goes. I am almost certain that she would hate it, but whether she would or not, her Birthday, but particularly her Special Birthday, is not the time to test out such a horrible idea.

Take your Dd somewhere else. Not a hope I’d be entertaining such bobbins. Even if it’s just a joke.

Hoping he has booked something else and this is a misguided way of ‘surprising you’ but even if that is the case he should have just told you the truth once I’m he realised it was upsetting you. If it’s not a red herring then is this part of a wider pattern of him completely disregarding your feelings or doing things that he know will upset you?

Either way, you absolutely do not have to go. In fact, I think you should book the restaurant you actually want to go to yourself and tell him where you’re going, that you’ll be going for a walk round the docks afterward etc.

On a side note, do you want your DD to think she has to go along with what men want whether she’s happy with it or not? I am surprised she thinks you should go and think that speaking up for yourself would also be a good message for her.

YANBU

Do not go. How sad that your DD thinks you should make the best of it.

men = want to go even though they know you don't want too
women = having to suck it up they think, or going along to keep the peace.

use this as a serious important life lesson for your dd so she doesn't end up being yet another woman who thinks they have to placate a man.

errrm, just say what you have said here, its not for you and you need him to change it to somewhere you would actually like to go to....do people really want to pay money to be abused whilst eating mediocre food???
YANBU to be upset he has clearly chosen the venue for himself not you...tell him this bluntly...

I knew it would be Karen's when I read your thread title. Wild horses wouldn't get me there. It sounds utterly pathetic.

Now I think that that is a great idea @StormTreader 😂

You are not going to give in and go are you@trapperjohna ?

This is your Birthday, it is meant to be a treat for you not DH and DSS, something you will enjoy, please put your foot down and refuse to go. If your DH won't book somewhere else for you then he is a grade A arsehole.

Ooh no, I'd hate that too. Sounds like he's picked something he'll like instead of something you'll like!

sorry posted before ready..

Book somewhere you want to go for you and your daughter and go there instead.

OP, I do hope you'll show your DH and SS this thread!

Fucksake.

Does he have form for making your birthday - & any other significant events - ALL ABOUT HIM?

There's a Chinese restaurant called Wong Kei in London which is famous for its rude staff. We went once in 1996, lasted approximately 90 seconds before we flounced out in a huff and haven't been back in 25 years! Why would anyone want to go somewhere like that? (And apparently the food is awful anyway. Their only selling point is rudeness.)

I've been, I was teaching English to HK Chinese students in the 90s as a student and we all went on a trip to London. It wasn't as bad as this sounds!

I'd book somewhere you want to go to on another night and gracefully bow out of the Karen diner. I would not go.

This is why I much prefer booking my birthday treats myself, so I know exactly what is going to happen.

Surprises play no role in my life.

I’d put my foot down and say no you’re not going, end of

The menu is awful too. Burgers are not what you should be having on your 50th!

Menu is deeply boring too.

I'm assuming you mean Karen's Diner in Sheffield?

I haven't been but know a couple who had to walk through it to get to a different bar experience (also not worth the money apparently) and said it looked horrendous.

I have to say it looks awful, and from what I have heard it really isn't some I would want to go to at all! I would be telling him he had to rearrange.

I know that makes me sound pathetic but I just really don’t want to go

You know that it's supposed to be your birthday treat, don't you. Tell him to cancel then pick somewhere yourself that you really want to visit.

No biggie. Whatever you don't , don't end up going g there to show what a good sport you are.