To ask dog owners to be extra vigilant around younger children?

[ponderingthisthing]

At the weekend, we were out in the meadows and having our family photos taken by a professional photographer.

A dog came near us and started jumping on the DC, who are 2 and 4. DH tried to fend it off until the owner came and dragged the dog away with some difficulty. By this time both children were extremely scared and upset and were screaming and crying. The owner may have muttered a quiet "sorry" before leaving quickly. No genuine apology or word to check if DC were OK, even though they were obviously extremely disturbed at that point with tears flooding down their faces. She just didn't seem to care.

For us though, it really put a damper on things and unsurprisingly the photography session did not go well. Both children felt unsafe following this (there were other dogs around, many not on lead) and clung to us.

It's not the first time that it's happened, DD was already afraid of dogs due to similar episodes in the past. We try to reassure her that dogs don't normally harm people and that she should just behave normally around them, but I wonder if we should also think more now about safety. Just yesterday, I came across a photo on social media of a little girl who was mauled in the face by a dog. Of course no physical harm came of this episode involving DC, thank goodness, and the dog was probably just over excited. However, the incident is making me feel somewhat uneasy about taking DC to places where dogs can run free.

AIBU to ask that dog owners be extra vigilant with small children around? And obviously, if the dogs are likely to jump up at people, to keep them on lead around small children in public places?

You're not unreasonable to expect this. But unfortunately, there are a lot of dog owners who take the view that their dog jumping up, running up to people etc is just being friendly and it's up to the child/adult to be fine with it. So the people who agree with you don't need reminding and the others will ignore you.

If I see children who look a bit nervous, I keep Dog closer. And when we're on the street and she's on the lead, I keep her close to me - not because I'm in the slightest bit concerned she'll jump on someone but because I know that children can get scared. If a child is looking at her and she's largely ignoring them, I always offer the parent the opportunity to let the child approach and tell them to let her sniff them etc. This seems tow work especially well with children who are just slightly nervous as the parents appreciate a calm, uninterested dog who then doesn't care the DC.

But then, I once had to tell a woman to take her tiny little poodle out of the playground. She said the dog was super friendly and I had to point out tha the children using the playground might not know that and have the right to be completely unafraid in a zone marked as dog-free.

YANBU my children are nervous too if so gs after many many instances where dogs have ran up to them. Yes they might be trying to be friendly but my small
child is practically eye height with your dog and that can be very scary. I HATE dogs being off lead in playparks especially idiot owners who are throwing balls for them ans the dogs chase them really fast. It’s scary for my children and it’s a child’s play park you are in. I struggle more on day woodland walks as I suppose the dog as as much right to be off lead as we have to walk there. I tend to stick closer to my child if I feel there are dogs around in those circumstances but I wish they could have freedom to run ahead and explore more without that worry. Another pet hate is those that thing it’s appropriate to stand right at the only school gate so my child needs reassurance and help just to leave the playground! The school has mentioned but because it’s technically the public pavement not the school ground W they can’t do much. It’s very selfish especially those too busy chatting to notice my child is in tears and won’t leave the school due to their dog (yes I do ask politely and say she’s nervous but I shouldn’t have to really).

Sorry your photo shoot was ruined. Hopefully you’ll get some good pictures from before the dog incident.

I can't tell you the number of people who let their dogs come up to my kids and say don't worry, they won't bite! they are very friendly!
no no no keep your dog away from my children!

I don't disagree with your sentment OP but

At the weekend, we were out in the meadows and having our family photos taken by a professional photographer.

And the dog owner was using those same meadows equally legally, I would assume!

You were all observant of ground nesting birds, protected plant species, etc, etc.

As it was the dog owner was lacking in observation, but you were also - you did say that there were many off lead dogs, not the best spot for a photograhpy session, the photograher should have known better. Which is always the problem when anyone uses public land for private purposes.

I completely agree no dog should be allowed to approach anybody without their owner first checking it's ok, at the very, very least.

Why is having photos taken a less valid use of a public space than being out with a dog? I assume the OP kept their photographer under control and not shoving its lens in the faces of unsuspecting dog walkers. If they were just out walking would they be more entitled to not be leapt on by slobbering mutts?

YANBU OP of course people should keep their dogs under better control particularly around children, whether they are having photos taken or not. Unfortunately they won’t and don’t and I don’t know what the answer is.

YANBU but cue all the dog owners who just don't get it at all! Particularly if they don't have children themselves. Don't even get me started on the ones who jump up at horses and get in the way of bicycles etc. But they're "just being friendly" even though it caused the horse to bolt and lose its rider (who was injured) and the dog to be kicked by the horse. Also the bicycle to stop sharply when it appeared from no where causing whiplash to the toddler in the back seat...Dogs off the lead in non dog park areas should be illegal.

Barckays
why

Of course YANBU. But the swivel-eyed "fur baby" brigade will be along to tell you it's your children that are the problem, and if they don't appreciate being knocked flat/slavered all over/shit all over their shoes, they should stay at home with the doors and windows locked.

YANBU. Yesterday I was walking in the park with my 2 year old, and saw 2 women chatting to each other whilst their dogs were running around. I stayed close to my daughter but didn’t hold her hand( she likes to walk on her own in the park). We had to cross in between the women and their dogs. Rather than call her dog back, one of the women shouted very aggressively at my daughter to “be careful as the dogs are excited”! She was almost telling her off! I think if your dog does not have good recall or you can’t trust them around small kids, the onus is on you not to let them off the lead in public areas.

If that was a question for me you misunderstood. I don't think either were more or less 'valid' and didn't say anything to suggest I did!

I just pointed out that in the real world dogs will be off lead in places they are allowed to be off lead in, some will be better trained than others. So a public space may not be the best place for a formal, paid for photo shoot!

Responsible dog owners should indeed be doing this already but unfortunately there are plenty of irresponsible and ignorant ones about.

I always keep my dog well away from children when out and about, but that’s more because I’ve had several incidents of kids running up and grabbing my nervous (and very large!) on-lead rescue dog without asking while their parents watched and laughed. So it very much works both ways and there are irresponsible fools in both camps…

My ESS, loves children and will often drop his tennis ball for the children to throw, they love it, it’s more often the parents that stop the game much to the frustration of the kids, why do parents inflict there own fears on to their kids,

Thing is, though, if the dog owners using that public space behaved like decent, responsible human beings, that park would have been a perfect place for the purpose OP was using it for.

The fact that you think she should have to factor in lazy, selfish, slovenly twats and their ill-governed mutts illustrates the point rather nicely.

I take my dog to pick my child up from School & although extremely soft, I always keep him tight on his lead as I know some children are scared/don’t like dogs. I would never let him approach anyone!

Most of the children want to pet him & all the parents ask me first.

I just pointed out that in the real world dogs will be off lead in places they are allowed to be off lead in, some will be better trained than others.

Dogs with no recall should be on the lead. Anywhere.

I do agree with this although I think the OP is not being unreasonable at all. Nobody should have a dog jumping up at them however friendly. Perhaps not the best location for two dog petrified kids though!

Noone should be letting their dog jump on or up at anyone. I have a severely disabled teenager with very unpredictable behaviour. As a result of this we are right there all the time watching what he is doing and ready to intervene instantly, holding on to him if that is required. I expect anyone with an unpredictable dog to do the same.

Dogs should be on a lead unless at home or in a designated dog field.

YANBU

I’ve had so so so many situations with dogs running up to me and/or my children and jumping on us, starling food!

So many owners just don’t care. I dont mind dogs being around if they kept a little respectful distance, but often times they don’t and the owners just act indignant if you ask them to keep their dog away. They wouldn’t like it if my child jumped up at them!
And it’s so annoying when owners say “it’s ok they are just being friendly” - not the point I shouldn’t have someone’s pet running right up to me.

I like dogs from afar but I want bitten on my face (and nearly lost my eye) so know very well they can be dangerous and so just a little space would be nice!

no idea what to do about it. Even in places were they are specifically banned owners till bring them anyway (like beaches) and more bad more places are allowing dogs recently

sometimes is seems people in this country put pets before children 🤷‍♀️

😢

Thing is, though, if the dog owners using that public space behaved like decent, responsible human beings, that park would have been a perfect place for the purpose OP was using it for.

And if people like OP didn't use it for photo shoots it would be perfect for dog walkers.

If neither used it then it would be perfect for something else.

If nobody used it it would be perfect for wildlife, maybe!

So.... ?

The fact that you think she should have to factor in lazy, selfish, slovenly twats and their ill-governed mutts illustrates the point rather nicely.

Yeah, it does doesn't it? Given I haven't denigrated anyone! Was that necessary?

Unfortunately, the owners of "friendly" dogs don't realise its their behaviour which causes fear in children.

Even a medium size dog is massive to a toddler.

There are two sides to this and I totally get your point op.

But I'd ask parents of younger children to keep them away from my on lead, blind, deaf, dog who is wearing a fluro jacket, fluro lead and bandana with his issues on it you could see them a mile off. He gets terrified and will jump up because he can't see and a small kids comes out to stroke him front on.

maybe all dogs and all small children should be on leads!

It is very important to teach your kids not to approach a dog without permission from the owner.

Sorry to derail.

YANBU. Sorry that happened to your DC. Mine (same ages) both dislike dogs for the same reasons.
One recently jumped up at my small kids on a walk at a local nature area. The owner didn't call it back despite my screaming kids and acted like my DH was the problem for putting his foot between the kids and the dog 🙄

If OP wasn't using it for photographs, it would STILL be unsuitable for young families/the elderly/anyone who does want to be jumped up at, slobbered on, or have shit all over their shoes. Because so many dog owners have no decency or sense of responsibility, and think the rest of us should fit around their poorly-trained dogs.