To ask dog owners to be extra vigilant around younger children?

[ponderingthisthing]

At the weekend, we were out in the meadows and having our family photos taken by a professional photographer.

A dog came near us and started jumping on the DC, who are 2 and 4. DH tried to fend it off until the owner came and dragged the dog away with some difficulty. By this time both children were extremely scared and upset and were screaming and crying. The owner may have muttered a quiet "sorry" before leaving quickly. No genuine apology or word to check if DC were OK, even though they were obviously extremely disturbed at that point with tears flooding down their faces. She just didn't seem to care.

For us though, it really put a damper on things and unsurprisingly the photography session did not go well. Both children felt unsafe following this (there were other dogs around, many not on lead) and clung to us.

It's not the first time that it's happened, DD was already afraid of dogs due to similar episodes in the past. We try to reassure her that dogs don't normally harm people and that she should just behave normally around them, but I wonder if we should also think more now about safety. Just yesterday, I came across a photo on social media of a little girl who was mauled in the face by a dog. Of course no physical harm came of this episode involving DC, thank goodness, and the dog was probably just over excited. However, the incident is making me feel somewhat uneasy about taking DC to places where dogs can run free.

AIBU to ask that dog owners be extra vigilant with small children around? And obviously, if the dogs are likely to jump up at people, to keep them on lead around small children in public places?

We don't intentionally.
The two incidents for my child happened walking down the street (one time a dog jumped at her and knocked her over. Another time one knocked her off her bike)

Quite. This is the 4th thread now on dogs, in a short space of time, with the same old comments. It's as obvious as saying parents should responsibly supervise their children. There are though, always drama llama responses.

People don’t “let” their dogs jump on you the dog does this because they don’t understand people may be scared.

she said sorry and was probably annoyed at the dog herself so don’t need the agg from you.

I laugh such things off too @Squillerman I am trying not to scare the kid that might have been bounced, jostled by my dog, I don't want to reinforce the fear.

I do usually speak to the parent though, check that they have understood what happened, what I mean by laughing, and that their kids is OK! Many laugh back and check my dog is OK.

But then, as many others here, I am a careful dog owner.

DC is scared of dogs, when they were around 2.5 a large dog about the same size if not bigger than DC came bounding up and licked my child’s face. They don’t like dogs because of many of these experiences.

The dog owners always say don’t worry they are gentle or friendly. This annoys me so much.

While I like dogs and we consider getting one. If a dog the same height as yourself came running up at speed and licked you (not knowing if they would bite etc) of course you would be scared.

If a child approaches my dog and I keep my dog close and tell the child not to bother my dog I often get ignored. What I am trying to do is to prevent a small child irritating my dog into a reaction, being hurt, even if just being bowled over by him as he moves.

I don't think the kid will necessarily hurt my dog, though he has been kicked by a 5ish year old, kid just lashed out as he walked past. I just want parents to take their part in keeping small kids and my dog at a respectful distance. I do that with a short lead and being vigilant...

And that's sensible ownership.

I'm happy to train my children to be sensible around dogs, ask owners and recognise body language. I just don't get very far because of the poorly controlled "friendly" dogs that are a bloody nuisence to everyone including other dog owners. I'm regularly put back to the "stand still, don't run" stage of fear.

Can’t believe you have to ask, therein lies the problem.

The dog owners always say don’t worry they are gentle or friendly. This annoys me so much.

Again, I will say something like this, trying not to reinforce any fear. I am not trying to negate any jostling, bouncing, jumping up my dog has done. Just trying to help the child, parents deal with it in a calm manner.

Long ago I stopped saying "Don't worry" though, That seems to be a large proportion of the red rag...

DH tried to fend it off

Can you explain this bit further plz

You're absolutely not being unreasonable to request this.

To be fair to the owner, though, their actions afterwards ie
The owner may have muttered a quiet "sorry" before leaving quickly. No genuine apology or word to check if DC were OK, even though they were obviously extremely disturbed at that point with tears flooding down their faces. She just didn't seem to care.
don't seem that unreasonable if viewed dispassionately.

Not sure why there's doubt about whether she "muttered a quiet 'sorry'". It makes a change from all the "screaming" that's often happens in MNetters interactions.
And surely taking the dog quickly away from children who were extremely disturbed by it, with tears flooding down their faces, was better than hanging around asking was anybody hurt and what they could do, when the obvious answer would be to get the dog away from the upset children asap.

With luck, she'll have learned from the incident and will keep her dog under better control from now on.

Hope you got some nice pictures from the photo session anyway. Maybe there'll be other, more successful ones in future 🤞

Then don't allow the dog to jump on anyone. You say it yourself - the dog doesn't understand. Until dogs have developed the skill to understand whether a person wants to be jumped on dog owners need to keep them under their control.

The owner is responsible for the dog and so, yes they are letting the dog jump.

There is absolutely no excuse for an owner letting their dog jump on a person. None whatsoever. It would ruin my kids day. The owner has a responsibility to ensure their dog comes no where near anyone else. It’s your dog, not mine, not ‘wider society’s’, but yours. Keep it to yourself.

What do you mean why?

I totally agree with you I hope you said 'told you so'.
My uncle had 4 very excitable Labradors at one point, very soppy and wouldn't hurt you but they were big and boisterous, and needed time off lead running about to let off steam (to calm them down - otherwise it would be the same as taking a kid for a walk by the hand rather than letting it charge round the park). He always said 'arms up, dog up. Arms down, dog down'. If you shriek and scream around a dog (especially a young one) it will think it's a game and jump more. Turn your back and ignore, chances are it will get bored. Unless you have a tasty chicken sandwich in hand of course hahahahaha

"People don’t “let” their dogs jump on you the dog does this because they don’t understand people may be scared."

Yes the dog doesn't understand so the owner needs to stop the dog doing it. There are lots of things my son doesn't understand but that doesn't mean I don't have to stop him doing them.

Dogs should definitely not jump on people. I love dogs, never scared of them, however big they are, but I don't appreciate them jumping on me. It startles me, and it feels awkward. They also inevitably dirty my clothes.

It's no big deal to me but it's not something owners should take lightly and they should indeed minimise it happening.

Turn your back and ignore, chances are it will get bored. I've had ignorant dog owners tell me that when I'm running and the dog won't go back to its owner, like it's my fault their dog is chasing me, or my responsibility to stop the behaviour.

When I am running I don't want to accommodate selfish dog owners. I am not a selfish runner, I ensure horse owners know I'm there and change my behaviour if necessary, I alert my presence to walkers so I don't make them jump

YANBU BUT it’s a two way street. I also get irritated by children running up and petting/pulling at my dog without asking/parents not asking. He actually won’t bite but how do they know?

^^ This in spades. I had my young well-behaved Labrador on a lead one day in a public space and a young child toddled up to her and started hitting her hard on the head with his toy car. As I remonstrated the child's father glanced up from his phone and said, "don't do that it might bite you".

On another occasion, when she was off lead and sitting nicely at a sports game, a boy of about 12 saw her and started running away screaming. She thought it was a game so started running alongside him, whereupon the boy flung himself on the ground and my dog just sniffed him and looked puzzled. Cue dad to appear, accuse me of having an out of control dog that had attacked his son, demand my name and address and tell me he would be taking his son to hospital for a full check up. Fortunately, the club captain intervened to say he'd seen the whole thing and told the man to stop being so ridiculous.

Not sure where my paragraph breaks went!

Equally there is a legal obligation to keep your dog under control in public spaces AT ALL TIME. I don't think that letting your dog jump all over other people's kids counts as "being in control of your dog".
Also, if let your dog "be friendly" to people who don't want it, be they adults or kids, and you have the bad luck that they know the law and won't think twice before using against you, you could be sued on no other grounds then "I / my kid felt threatened by this dog" and potentially have you dog taken way. Check it for yourself if you don't believe it.

YANBU but I would also like people to stop their children from approaching dogs they don't know. My dog would never voluntarily go up to a child as she has been frightened by small children grabbing her in the past. She is small and cute and children often want to touch her. It's worse when she is on a lead as she can't escape from them if she was loose she would run away from them.

Yep, plenty of irresponsible parents, who don't supervise their children, but dogs are the easiest targets. Say anything about irresponsible parenting and all hell breaks loose.

Less well-trained dogs should not be running about off the lead in a public place when there are other people about.

Me personally @DaSilvaP

I am not the dog owner the OP is writing about!

And I have posted abou thow I keep my dog under control!

Small children bugging dogs is unacceptable and I would never allow my child to do it, but dog owners seem to think it's fine for their dog to run up to my kid uninvited, and that their lack of control over their animal is somehow adorable. However much you say it's a "two way street", though, the fact is the rights of a human trump the rights of your dog.

I love dogs. But I hate a lot of dog owners. The amount of shit around these days proves to me that crappy owners are not as rare as people on here would like you to believe.

The "you can't let your kid go round being scared of dogs" thing makes me. laugh, because so often it's an experience with a uncontrolled dog with a shitty owner that causes that fear in the first place. Of course parents are then cautious because they don't want that fear to be intensified by more bad experiences. No-one can tell your dog is a softy by looking at them, or that it's actual under your control despite appearances.