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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We are pregnant - no WE are not!

83 replies

Irishfarmer · 11/05/2022 11:50

This phrase really annoys me. When did it become a thing? A friend said to me, that's so great ye are pregnant. I've heard it in a few other contexts too. We are having a baby, I am pregnant. I know it's really not that important but it annoys me. Something else along those lines was bugging me too but I can't remember what is is!! Which is also annoying me😂

BTW I am 30 weeks pregnant. Strange things annoy me these days

OP posts:
nearlyspringyay · 11/05/2022 11:51

I totally agree with you, it really really winds me up for some reason, and I'm not pregnant!

FindingMeno · 11/05/2022 11:52

I agree.
If we were pregnant we could opt for our co-pregnantee to do all the less enviable bits.

Vinorosso74 · 11/05/2022 11:53

Annoys me too. The only pregnant one is the one growing the baby!

0dette · 11/05/2022 11:54

Men who say “ we are pregnant “ mean “ I don’t want my partner to get all the attention for being pregnant but I plan to do only the fun parts of parenting when I feel like it “.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 11/05/2022 11:55

It's annoying but I'm hoping it comes from a good place of fathers wanting to feel involved (I know some fathers who insisted they would stop drinking / eating banned foods to support their wives for example and they are probably the type that would say this) rather than take the attitude that it's nothing to do with them until the baby is there

MagpiePi · 11/05/2022 11:55

Aaagh, yes, totally agree!

'We' are going to have a natural birth....
Yeah, right, mate

Original poster
Irishfarmer · 11/05/2022 11:56

FindingMeno · 11/05/2022 11:52

I agree.
If we were pregnant we could opt for our co-pregnantee to do all the less enviable bits.

I would love to pass on the trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in and constant acid to DH for a day! TBF he has never said 'we' are pregnant he know I am

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 11/05/2022 11:56

My male colleague came back from paternity leave saying “we had a natural labour”. Absolute pillock. Also “we are breastfeeding”. He was the first man to ever become a dad you know, his poor wife was just the vessel which produced his child.

IncompleteSenten · 11/05/2022 11:57

I've always wanted to reply congratulations, which one of you will be giving birth.

I wouldn't though. I know that's rude. I just fantasise about it.

mycatisannoying · 11/05/2022 11:58

I'm usually laidback when it comes to Mumsnetty 'things', but I am with you on this!
It's an Americanism, isn't it?

mycatisannoying · 11/05/2022 11:58

IncompleteSenten · 11/05/2022 11:57

I've always wanted to reply congratulations, which one of you will be giving birth.

I wouldn't though. I know that's rude. I just fantasise about it.

Grin
AnneLovesGilbert · 11/05/2022 12:01

IncompleteSenten · 11/05/2022 11:57

I've always wanted to reply congratulations, which one of you will be giving birth.

I wouldn't though. I know that's rude. I just fantasise about it.

Do it! Would be no more rude than a man taking ownership of a uniquely female experience.

A friend said “we are pregnant” and I said “well Lisa is pregnant, congrats to you both” and he chucked in mild embarrassment and said I was right and thanks. He never did it again and it was a stupid turn of phrase he didn’t mean.

He’s thankfully nothing like my glory grabbing ex colleague.

Rosebel · 11/05/2022 12:02

I hate it too. We are having a baby is fine but we are pregnant irrates the hell out of me.
Luckily my husband has never said it. It's annoying and it's not true.

ObjectionHearsay · 11/05/2022 12:05

I think had he said "we are pregnant" when I was I'd have said "is that a royal WE " with disapproving look. 😂

I am not a fan of it either and I'm a pretty laid back person. The man is not risking his life here. I agree with another poster who said it's an "Americanism"

Original poster
Irishfarmer · 11/05/2022 12:07

IncompleteSenten · 11/05/2022 11:57

I've always wanted to reply congratulations, which one of you will be giving birth.

I wouldn't though. I know that's rude. I just fantasise about it.

I would 100% say it. But maybe I can get away with it right now!

OP posts:
Thejoyfulstar · 11/05/2022 12:09

I absolutely hate this. It is biologically impossible.

I know that people who use this language are trying to inclusive, but its a lie. It's not the same as saying 'we are expecting a baby', as that state of expectant waiting is not exclusive to the mother. 'We are pregnant' cannot be true in a medical sense, unless you are talking about how you and your sister are both pregnant at the same time.

PipeScatter · 11/05/2022 12:18

Also agree.

"We are having a baby" - yes, fine, you are, as a couple, having a baby
"We are pregnant" - that's physically not possible to share a baby, so no, you're not.

BeeDavis · 11/05/2022 12:23

I’ve had a baby and just couldn’t get worked up over someone saying this!

Cr3ateAUsername · 11/05/2022 12:24

Totally agree. Just say “we’re having a baby” 🤷🏻‍♀️

PonyPatter44 · 11/05/2022 12:29

PipeScatter · 11/05/2022 12:18

Also agree.

"We are having a baby" - yes, fine, you are, as a couple, having a baby
"We are pregnant" - that's physically not possible to share a baby, so no, you're not.

Exactly. I think its quite sweet when men say "we're having a baby", but only one person is pregnant!, never 'we' unless they are a lesbian couple and both pregnant, obvs!

Silversprinkles · 11/05/2022 12:30

0dette · 11/05/2022 11:54

Men who say “ we are pregnant “ mean “ I don’t want my partner to get all the attention for being pregnant but I plan to do only the fun parts of parenting when I feel like it “.

Yup, I've noticed that too. Pricks, most of them.

SeedyBloomer · 11/05/2022 12:31

YANBU. ‘We are expecting a baby’ is as far as it goes!

Georgeskitchen · 11/05/2022 12:32

Men who say "I've just had a little boy/girl"
No you haven't. Your WIFE has 🤣

Summerholidayorcovidagain · 11/05/2022 12:33

Worse is feeding babies being referred to as eating. Milk isn't eaten imo.

ChocolateHippo · 11/05/2022 12:34

I am usually anti-violence, but if my DH said stuff like "we're having a natural birth", I'd be thinking of ways to inflict the most pain possible on him.

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