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Original poster

We are pregnant - no WE are not!

83 replies

Irishfarmer · 11/05/2022 11:50

This phrase really annoys me. When did it become a thing? A friend said to me, that's so great ye are pregnant. I've heard it in a few other contexts too. We are having a baby, I am pregnant. I know it's really not that important but it annoys me. Something else along those lines was bugging me too but I can't remember what is is!! Which is also annoying me😂

BTW I am 30 weeks pregnant. Strange things annoy me these days

OP posts:
ItsLisaLou · 11/05/2022 15:01

Georgeskitchen · 11/05/2022 12:32

Men who say "I've just had a little boy/girl"
No you haven't. Your WIFE has 🤣

Wow. I mean, I’m no biologist, but I’m pretty sure the second my son is born my husband will HAVE a child, so would have every right to say he’d just HAD a child. How bizarre to hate something that’s correct?

BetsHilton · 11/05/2022 15:06

@Irishfarmer my DH doesn’t say it but I do tend to say we are pregnant. However maybe it’s different as it took us 5 years and 6 rounds of IVF to get pregnant. DH came to every single appointment with me, organised the medication, did every single injection, consoled me through all the upset even though it was hard on him too, insisted I went on spa days, ran me baths , paid for any extras I wanted to try and took whatever vitamins/food/diet I told him to go on without any complaint including telling him to give up alcohol and drinks with his mates for nearly 2 years. So I feel like yes we did it together and it worked. I wouldn’t be pregnant without him carrying so much of the loads! Since being pregnant he has done all cooking, cleaning, shopping, organising etc - I haven’t so much as lifted a load of washing and have a lie in every morning while he sorts the dog.

vitahelp · 11/05/2022 15:12

Haha yes this bugs me too, I know in most cases it is harmless but it annoys me in the same way as 'Hollibobs' and 'Famalam' etc.
My DH is doing a marathon overseas this summer and I'll be going along to watch/support. I might start referring to it as 'We are doing a marathon in France' even though I couldn't run 10 metres without collapsing!

billy1966 · 11/05/2022 15:15

We are pregnant is moronic.

My friends daughter was pregnant a few years ago and her husband said "we are pregnant" only the once, because she replied "indeed we are, and we will be off ALL alcohol and take out food until the baby arrives".

That shut him up SO fast funnily enough.🙄

PleasantBirthday · 11/05/2022 15:18

@EmilyBolton I was scanning the comments in case anyone said it, but you did it far better than I would have. I find it infuriating.

It also - in my opinion - bleeds into the anti choice perception that pregnancy is nothing more than just passively waiting it out and then the baby comes and then everything is back to normal like nothing ever happened so why would you have an abortion just because?

And I've seen the argument that it's nice because it makes men feel involved. I wish the pathetic losers would grow up.

CoalCraft · 11/05/2022 15:19

I mean it's a bit twee and sure, it's factually inaccurate, but so what? A lot of women say it. I hate this tendency on Mumsnet to police how other people talk.

Also "we just had a baby" / "we're having a baby" is completely fine imo, not even factually inaccurate. "I had" just means "I've received/acquired", e.g. "I had loads of Christmas presents this year", while "I'm having" just means "I expect to have", e.g. "I'm having a party". The process of giving birth is irrelevant.

PleasantBirthday · 11/05/2022 15:25

I mean it's a bit twee and sure, it's factually inaccurate, but so what? A lot of women say it. I hate this tendency on Mumsnet to police how other people talk.

It minimises what pregnancy is and obscures what women do while they're pregnant. It encourages people to see pregnancy as a passive thing with no dangers or lasting consequences when in reality, we're still finding out exactly how incredible and active a process it is.

Women deserve a lot of respect. And to get it, we have to demand it. Coddling men into thinking that being pregnant woman adjacent and doing a bit of cooking is exactly the same as making another human being cell by cell just makes it harder for women, especially women who are having a hard time.

EmilyBolton · 11/05/2022 16:03

PleasantBirthday · 11/05/2022 15:18

@EmilyBolton I was scanning the comments in case anyone said it, but you did it far better than I would have. I find it infuriating.

It also - in my opinion - bleeds into the anti choice perception that pregnancy is nothing more than just passively waiting it out and then the baby comes and then everything is back to normal like nothing ever happened so why would you have an abortion just because?

And I've seen the argument that it's nice because it makes men feel involved. I wish the pathetic losers would grow up.

And the idea that maternity leave is some sort of holiday…especially in first 6 months when you could be breastfeeding exclusively as well. That breastfeeding is turning that 7-8lb you created into around 30lb of human flesh and bones and brains. Again, it’s as if think it happens magically or of the babies will- no…all that energy requirement to grow to 30lbs comes exclusively form mum if breastfeeding.

EmilyBolton · 11/05/2022 16:07

Silversprinkles · 11/05/2022 14:17

@EmilyBolton if I could give you a Wembley stadium sized standing ovation for that, I would.

Takes small curtsy

nalabae · 11/05/2022 16:08

Agree it’s cringe. The woman is pregnant the man is the father. “We” are not pregnant SHE is

AssCants · 11/05/2022 16:17

I'm sure I'm.not the only one with a momentous Pash developing for @EmilyBolton right now 😘

Mamai90 · 11/05/2022 16:19

I've never heard anyone actually say this irl. It's pure cringe though!

etulosba · 11/05/2022 16:21

It isn’t a new thing. It’s irritated me for the last fifty years or so.

Cheesechips · 11/05/2022 16:22

Very annoying phrase but sweet that partner wants to be so involved.

PrettyMaybug · 11/05/2022 16:24

YANBU. 'WE are having a baby' makes sense. 'WE are pregnant' is just stupid, and utterly wrong!!!

NewJerseyWater · 11/05/2022 16:33

I’ve never heard anyone in real life say it, only ever saw threads about it on here. If it means the baby’s father is interested then that’s better than a lot of the men I read about on here.

Men who say "I've just had a little boy/girl"
No you haven't. Your WIFE has

So you want a new father to say ‘my wife/partner has just had a baby boy/girl’? I’d think that father was a bit detached.

romdowa · 11/05/2022 16:35

It's the only thing that bugged me when I was pregnant. People would ask how is it going for ye or its so great that ye are pregnant 🙄🙄 I used to correct people every time with a death stare

CorpseReviver · 11/05/2022 16:47

CoalCraft · 11/05/2022 15:19

I mean it's a bit twee and sure, it's factually inaccurate, but so what? A lot of women say it. I hate this tendency on Mumsnet to police how other people talk.

Also "we just had a baby" / "we're having a baby" is completely fine imo, not even factually inaccurate. "I had" just means "I've received/acquired", e.g. "I had loads of Christmas presents this year", while "I'm having" just means "I expect to have", e.g. "I'm having a party". The process of giving birth is irrelevant.

I mean it's a bit twee and sure, it's factually inaccurate, but so what? ... The process of giving birth is irrelevant.

You answered your own question. Well done.

I'm sure all of the women who experienced inexpressible pain, lost litres of blood, were left with third or fourth degree tears, haemorrhoids, prolapses, incontinence, caesarean scars, episiotomies, and so on, would be delighted with your declaration that 'the process of giving birth is irrelevant'.

PleasantBirthday · 11/05/2022 16:49

Cheesechips · 11/05/2022 16:22

Very annoying phrase but sweet that partner wants to be so involved.

Why can't they be involved without pretending that they're pregnant somehow? Is it that someone sometimes has a conversation that isn't strictly about them?

PleasantBirthday · 11/05/2022 16:51

EmilyBolton · 11/05/2022 16:03

And the idea that maternity leave is some sort of holiday…especially in first 6 months when you could be breastfeeding exclusively as well. That breastfeeding is turning that 7-8lb you created into around 30lb of human flesh and bones and brains. Again, it’s as if think it happens magically or of the babies will- no…all that energy requirement to grow to 30lbs comes exclusively form mum if breastfeeding.

Show quote history

Oh yeah. It's ridiculous the extent to which people are allowed to diminish women's achievements (and it's a massive achievement) just to avoid congratulating women for doing something extraordinary.

TurquoiseDress · 11/05/2022 16:57

YANBU

Totally agree with you!

Grin
TurnOverANewPage · 11/05/2022 17:02

Totally agree, "we are pregnant " sounds ridiculous.

Men being "men" these days unfortunately. Stay in your lane mate.

My idiot ex husband took both of my scan photos when we got divorced, hid them and wouldn't give me a copy. The moron missed the fact that it was actually a photo of my body . I wonder if he looks at them and thinks "we" were pregnant Grin

EmilyBolton · 11/05/2022 17:04

😊

CorpseReviver · 11/05/2022 17:08

Cheesechips · 11/05/2022 16:22

Very annoying phrase but sweet that partner wants to be so involved.

If you had cancer, would you find it 'sweet' that your partner said 'we are having chemo'?

NewJerseyWater · 11/05/2022 17:27

CorpseReviver · 11/05/2022 17:08

If you had cancer, would you find it 'sweet' that your partner said 'we are having chemo'?

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Are you seriously comparing pregnancy to cancer. That’s fucked up.