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Original poster

To think these jokes from friends are getting old

80 replies

Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 22:32

Several years ago I had a couple of habits/ways of doing things that my friends found amusing, which is fair enough.
I haven't done any of those things for at least 3 years now though but some friends still bring it up when we're all together. I laugh along but inside I just don't see the point and think it's getting old.
We were all together on Saturday for the first time in a few months and it was mentioned again. "Makingplansfornigel1" does X virtually every week." "Makingplansfornigel1 1 is constantly doing X, I can't keep up!" "I've lost count of how many times makingplansfornigel1 has done x".

It's been mentioned a few times now and as I said I haven't done it in over 3 years. It's not the end of the world just slightly irritating. We're in our early 30s too.
I did try to justify myself in a non confrontational way saying I hadn't done it, but they didn't really seem to take it on board.

Another thing is that I change things more often than they do, whether that be hairstyle, job, home, etc. It's just who I am, whereas most of these friends have been in the same role for over 5 years, same hairstyle since 20s etc. And that is also fine.
But it's commented on every time. I don't even change that often, but it's always comments about how "you always do that, I can't keep up with you and what job you do etc.
Am I too sensitive?

OP posts:
Original poster
Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 22:33

I notice that none of the others have these jokes about them.

OP posts:
PenelopeGarseeya · 10/05/2022 22:53

I have this with my friendship group. One of the hilarious jokes they make is about something I used to do because of poor mental health, I’ve told them this but it doesn’t stop them. I’ve also admitted another thing I used to do is because of how poor we were. Again, still referred to as though it was yesterday.

Ive gone low contact with most of them and don’t see them regularly at all. Same “jokes” still get trotted out though. Even if I haven’t seen them for a couple of years and they don’t know me anymore

MarilynValentine · 10/05/2022 22:57

No you’re not too sensitive.

I don’t know how you’d approach it other than repeat every single time that you no longer do that and you’d rather they didn’t make the same irrelevant joke over and over again.

Original poster
Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 22:58

Wow that's awful, sorry to hear that :(
Good for you for going low contact.
How rude of them really. I don't understand where it comes from, what is it in them that makes them want to trot out old jokes and always targeted at one person?
My thing was related to me moving a lot.
There are even comments related to when we were at school 20 years ago which is ridiculous.

OP posts:
Original poster
Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 22:58

I really don't get how they can find it funny. It's actually not even that interesting at all lol

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 10/05/2022 22:58

No it's not nice. They are mocking and bullying you. Maybe they don't realise how much it pisses you off. Tell them it was funny the first time but after the 356th time it starts to grate

Original poster
Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 23:01

I'll tell you what it is. It's about changing my phone number, I moved abroad a lot so that's partially why. You see how fucking boring it actually is yet they mention it nearly every time haha

OP posts:
PeggyGa · 10/05/2022 23:06

I have this with a friend and gone no contact it’s annoying and I’m rather e on my own with my family then people who take the piss out if me

housemaus · 10/05/2022 23:07

I've had something similar, it's like a certain shit joke becomed ingrained in the group history and never goes away.

Mine is about something I said once at uni that, like yours, was so pointlessly insignificant it wasn't funny in the first place, but has somehow formed the backbone of an entire inside joke/stereotype about me in one group of friends. They're nice people, but it's just stuck and I hate it. I guess it's partly my own fault for never pointing out how irritating it is but because it was such a stupid thing it feels like overreacting to say something now!

Pawtriarchal · 10/05/2022 23:10

‘But yet you kept finding it out anyway, so I gave up doing that three years ago.’ Wink

GeraltsLeftPec · 10/05/2022 23:17

I feel you. I've had this most of my life from certain people.

I an neurodivergent and also grew up in an oppressive, controlling home, and have a board of mental health issues going way back into childhood.

This has caused repeatedly changing hair style and colour, I like travelling around and have also ended up moving a lot, for many many years I couldn't work out how to keep my mobile number when I got new contracts with other providers so my number changed a lot, at school I was given a few nicknames which on the surface sound uninteresting but which directly mocked my autism, I've always had various tics through stress and stimming, which people would comment on and keep bringing up.

There's been a LOT more things, more than I want to dredge up.

Most folks who continued to speak like shit to me in whichever ways, including by doing the 'i can't keep up with you, whatever next' etc, I've cut out. They can fuck off.

autienotnaughty · 10/05/2022 23:19

Yes I use to get really drunk and do silly things (like drinking someone's drink, or trying on their hat. ) basically I didn't realise how annoying I was being. Probably didn't pick up on it due to my autism. it's been more than 20 years they still being stuff up. Really irritates me, I've started to turn it back on them. "Oh I wish you said something at the time" etc.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 10/05/2022 23:23

Perhaps stop laughing along. Try doing a big yawn and say something like, 'Oh not that again. Don't you have anything else to talk about?' Embarass them out of it

whynotwhatknot · 10/05/2022 23:53

they keep bringing up you change your number? god theyre bored arent they

love your username btw

bluedomino · 11/05/2022 00:36

Its horrible when friends people keep poking a sore spot. Look at your watch when they bring it up and say "only 10 mins before you mentioned it this week, that's a new record" or "I've barely taken my coat off and you've started on the bullying!" Or "I do hope you're are not going to bring up the same old stuff this time, it's getting a bit boring and tedious".
They are probably very unhappy people, who are trying to hurt you to make themselves feel better. Or direct attention away from them. Try an ice cold stare and start questioning them. I hope you find some nicer people soon.

PinkArt · 11/05/2022 01:32

Have you tried pulling then up about it? My sister did with me when I was doing something sort of along those lines with her. I thought it was a jokey thing between us but was actually really irritating her. As soon as she told me I started to bite my tongue if I found myself about to slip into old habits.
If you tell them and they don't change though then they aren't mates. Just arses.

PlasticineMeg · 11/05/2022 01:43

YANBU.

My best friend from school does this, acts like I’m still that person I was as a teenager. Drives me potty. No I don’t still listen to Gareth Gates or re-watch old episodes of Fame Academy. I think there’s some arrested development going on there, she still remembers EVERYBODY we went to school with and random facts about them. I can barely remember any teachers let alone random kids from our year.

SkerryVore · 11/05/2022 02:20

My family do this to me. It's like the last 2.5 decades didn't happen, and I'm a still an awkward kid with hermit tendencies.They don't mean it in a cruel way - they're all good people, but still, I could live without it.

AstroSurf · 11/05/2022 02:53

Tell them to please stop as it's really starting to grate.

Padton · 11/05/2022 03:46

We used to do this to a friend in one of my friendship groups as we thought she found it as funny as we did.

One day she admitted how it really made her feel and we haven’t done it since. Funnily enough, she did it again recently, after years of not, and we laughed with her about it when she told us but we’ve not brought it up again.

Tell them honestly, they probably have no idea. However, if they don’t stop after you’ve told them then they’re not good friends.

KangFang · 11/05/2022 04:17

Yes, I had a couple of 'friends' try to embarrass me over things that happened 30 years ago.
No longer in contact with those individuals.

JohannSebastianBach · 11/05/2022 06:47

@Makingplansfornigel1 may I say that your username is fantastic. Love that song.

Mol1628 · 11/05/2022 06:47

My family does this to me as well. They think I’m still a lazy messy teenager as if the last couple of decades haven’t changed anything. It’s quite hurtful.

AnyFucker · 11/05/2022 06:53

It’s only a “joke” if everyone finds it funny

Otherwise, it’s repetitive bullying

declutteringmymind · 11/05/2022 06:59

I would own it. Throw a comment 'well I can't help it if I've led a life well travelled!'

They sound a bit boring if they're bring those jokes up again and again.

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