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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think these jokes from friends are getting old

80 replies

Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 22:32

Several years ago I had a couple of habits/ways of doing things that my friends found amusing, which is fair enough.
I haven't done any of those things for at least 3 years now though but some friends still bring it up when we're all together. I laugh along but inside I just don't see the point and think it's getting old.
We were all together on Saturday for the first time in a few months and it was mentioned again. "Makingplansfornigel1" does X virtually every week." "Makingplansfornigel1 1 is constantly doing X, I can't keep up!" "I've lost count of how many times makingplansfornigel1 has done x".

It's been mentioned a few times now and as I said I haven't done it in over 3 years. It's not the end of the world just slightly irritating. We're in our early 30s too.
I did try to justify myself in a non confrontational way saying I hadn't done it, but they didn't really seem to take it on board.

Another thing is that I change things more often than they do, whether that be hairstyle, job, home, etc. It's just who I am, whereas most of these friends have been in the same role for over 5 years, same hairstyle since 20s etc. And that is also fine.
But it's commented on every time. I don't even change that often, but it's always comments about how "you always do that, I can't keep up with you and what job you do etc.
Am I too sensitive?

OP posts:
UnsuitableHat · 12/05/2022 05:25

People like to pin traits on others & sometimes you have to decide what you’re
prepared to laugh along with and what you aren’t. I guess one approach is actually to be a bit arsey when the thing is mentioned - put up a barrier so they’d feel uncomfortable about mentioning it again. Maybe that sounds a bit PA. I’ve done it a couple of times tho and it’s worked.

Fraaahnces · 12/05/2022 05:35

My advice would be today something, but not make this a thing that affects your mental health. (Guaranteed the jokes will continue and that will be thrown in for seasoning.) Just write in the WhatsApp group that you are sick of it. It’s not funny, it’s inaccurate and it’s old. You’ve waited for them to get sick of it, you’ve made it clear that you don’t find it funny, and that you find being the group scapegoat downright offensive. You’ve had enough and it needs to stop. Now.

Mol1628 · 12/05/2022 06:33

Makingplansfornigel1 · 11/05/2022 17:54

Still totally ignored.. they'll probably say I was 'harsh' or 'overreacting' or whatever.

This is typical bullying behaviour though. I have a family member that does this to me. As soon as I call them up on it they say I’m being ‘aggressive and moody’. They always tell me I’m being harsh too.

Honestly just cut them out. It’ll take a few weeks but you’ll soon realise you’re better without them.

TheHatinaCat · 12/05/2022 12:43

Fraaahnces · 11/05/2022 08:47

Throw it back… “Yeah… change is as good as a holiday. You should try it sometime… I mean, you’ve had the same hairdo since 1996. Isn’t it a bit tired? Just like your jokes about me moving.”

I did this with a friend who used to comment about me changing jobs. She'd been with the same company since university so getting on for twenty years. One day when she was 'teasing' me about work I asked her if she was planning to stay at XXXX company until retirement. Her face well and truly fell.

I think a lot of us on here seem to have ADHD and/or ASD plus had family do this to us growing up. My Mum and Dad teased me a lot and weren't actually very kind. It does affect you.

10HailMarys · 12/05/2022 15:14

Makingplansfornigel1 · 10/05/2022 23:01

I'll tell you what it is. It's about changing my phone number, I moved abroad a lot so that's partially why. You see how fucking boring it actually is yet they mention it nearly every time haha

I thought you were going to say it was something really personal but this seems like nothing to me, to be honest.

I think any joke that's repeated over and over again can be boring, but this is so completely harmless and inoffensive that I don't think I could bring myself to get worked up about it. It's not like it's even a criticism. If they were bringing up something personal, like a habit or anxiety you used to have, it would be different. But joking about you changing your phone number is pretty gentle stuff.

My friends and I have a lot of standing jokes about stuff from decades ago, though. One of them is that for ages, I would always have some kind of injury whenever we met up, so now when we get together once in a blue moon someone will invariably say 'Wait, there's something wrong: 10HailMarys isn't on crutches'. It just makes me laugh to be honest. It's affectionate.

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