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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To get irritated at MIL not spelling my name correctly

81 replies

teomama · 09/05/2022 18:47

My partner’s mother spells my name wrong all the time. I am not British, but my name is fairly common and popular European name. I use it to sign off my emails to her, it’s on my WhatsApp and her son spells it right when we text in the family group. We have two children together and still she fails to learn my name. I try not to bother, but it feels disrespectful. AIBU?

OP posts:

ItsJustASimpleLine · 09/05/2022 18:49

It's very rude if her.

Correct her every single time.

Regenbogen22 · 09/05/2022 18:52

Or get your partner to have a stern word with her.

Michellebops · 09/05/2022 18:53

Don't let it bother you. My mil writes mechelle to me or Mitchell 🙄
She's 80 so I'm not going to be offended.

She also signs the card mum

coodawoodashooda · 09/05/2022 18:56

Forget about it

AffIt · 09/05/2022 18:57

Yes, pull her up on it.

I have a slightly 'unusual' name (it's a Celtic name spelled in a specific way, but not so unusually pronounced that English speakers can't get their head around it).

I have pulled clients up at work for mispronouncing / misspelling my name, so absolutely no way would I let friends or family get away with it.

surprisedinner · 09/05/2022 19:11

Good job I'm not your mil I can never remember names not everyone has a good working memory why make a song and dance out of it. Would you if she was bad at maths?

EileenGC · 09/05/2022 19:13

surprisedinner · 09/05/2022 19:11

Good job I'm not your mil I can never remember names not everyone has a good working memory why make a song and dance out of it. Would you if she was bad at maths?

You would forget the mother of your grandkids' name? Someone who's presumable been in your life for several years, and with whom you keep regular contact?

Aquamarine1029 · 09/05/2022 19:14

Unless she has significant cognitive issues, after a certain point, that shit is deliberate. There's simply no excuse for it.

EileenGC · 09/05/2022 19:14

Get your partner to have a word with her. Correct her every time. There's a difference between autocorrect overriding her spelling, or the odd mistake. But NEVER getting it right is rude.

surprisedinner · 09/05/2022 19:17

Probably yes if it was an unusual spelling. I have a memory deficit which makes life extremely difficult so I wouldn't appreciate being pulled up on it. I don't point out to people that they're overweight so I wouldn't expect people to point out a Problem I have.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/05/2022 19:18

Spell her name incorrectly next time and see if she says anything....

SarahSissions · 09/05/2022 19:21

It depends. I’m dyslexic and there’s certain words I’ll never get right to the point where autocorrect won’t even recognise them. I can’t spell restaurant even though I worked in admin for one for 5 years and tried my hardest to learn.

Joolsin · 09/05/2022 19:21

I would spell her name incorrectly from now on too.

AffIt · 09/05/2022 19:21

surprisedinner · 09/05/2022 19:17

The OP has said the spelling of her name is almost literally in front of the MiL (in WhatsApp, emails etc).

That's absolutely nothing like calling somebody fat. Be careful you don't put your back out with that reach, FFS.

worraliberty · 09/05/2022 19:22

What does she say when you mention it to her?

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 09/05/2022 19:24

My DSILs name is very similar to mine (think Elizabeth/Elisabeth). My DMIL has never got it wrong. Not even once.

There is no excuse.

AnnaMagnani · 09/05/2022 19:25

My family on my own side couldn't spell my name properly, despite years of correction as DF made the mortal error of marrying a forrin woman and so giving me a forrin name.

It's not you, it's them. Some English speaking people are just like it (have had the same from Australians and Americans)

You can stew in anger for ever, taking it as a personal slight or just move on and be glad you aren't her.

chubbachub · 09/05/2022 19:28

Michellebops · 09/05/2022 18:53

Don't let it bother you. My mil writes mechelle to me or Mitchell 🙄
She's 80 so I'm not going to be offended.

She also signs the card mum

Mitchell 🤣

surprisedinner · 09/05/2022 19:29

There's no excuse for being fat either but memory problems are developmental so you are born with it, shoving cake in your mouth is self inflicted and IS your fault so why would you pull someone up on a disability but someone being overweight is not to be mentioned because they may be offended.

twoshedsjackson · 09/05/2022 19:31

Are there situations where you could fail to answer missives "obviously not meant for me, that's not my name?"
Slightly different, but I had a colleague who couldn't be bothered to get my (not that unusual) - name right - until I learned to remain completely blank when not addressed correctly.

Original poster

teomama · 09/05/2022 19:32

I haven’t mentioned it to her as I don’t want to appear petty. MIL doesn’t have dyslexia or any other condition - if she had, I would never really hold it against her or by irritated by it.

OP posts:

SleeplessWB · 09/05/2022 19:32

My MIL spells my daughter's name wrong! It is not an unusual name and she spells it differently every time. I do find it difficult not to be offended by this.

Hallyup89 · 09/05/2022 19:35

Mine spelled my name incorrectly for years. It's a common name too. I couldn't let it bother me. I've got better things to worry about.

Original poster

teomama · 09/05/2022 19:36

That’s even worse 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:

orangeisthenewpuce · 09/05/2022 19:38

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I know my name. I don't care if people get the spelling wrong.

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