To get irritated at MIL not spelling my name correctly

[teomama]

My partner’s mother spells my name wrong all the time. I am not British, but my name is fairly common and popular European name. I use it to sign off my emails to her, it’s on my WhatsApp and her son spells it right when we text in the family group. We have two children together and still she fails to learn my name. I try not to bother, but it feels disrespectful. AIBU?

@iklboo

If it's over many years - especially in family- it smacks of them not giving a shit about you and that you're unimportant. It's rude.

Yeah this. Anyone who continually spells your name wrong is 9 times out of 10 doing it on purpose. (IMO and IME.)

I used to know a girl at school who was one of 5 kids (2 older sisters and 2 older brothers) but only 8 years between them all. She was fiercely competitive (as all 5 siblings always tried to out-do each other,) and she was always trying to go one better than me.

She got a boyfriend first, she got engaged first, she got a mortgage first, she passed her driving test first, and always ALWAYS 'bragged' that she 'did it first.' I didn't give a shit btw! Then I got a boyfriend and got engaged and married before her. I also had a child before her. When I was pregnant, her 'fiancé' dumped her after 11 years together/9 years engaged.

She was single then, and stayed that way indefinitely. She had been fuming when I got married BEFORE HER - like she actually said 'how the fuck are YOU married before ME?' and 'Can't wait to see YOU with a baby hahahahaha!!!!!'

As the years went on, she constantly spelt my married name wrong, (if it's Jackson, she said Packom, and sent me birthday cards addressed to me with my maiden name on, and sent Christmas cards that didn't include the names of my DC. Several times we bumped into her in town, and she completely ignored my DC. I even tried to introduce her to them and she talked over me. When we left her, my DC said 'mommy why was that lady ignoring us?' I didn't know what to say!

Clearly she had issues, and a stick up her arse because I had a husband and had children, (the thing she had always desired, and had failed to get,) but the disrespect and nastiness from her, ALWAYS spelling my married name wrong, or just using my maiden name, and leaving my children out/ignoring them, showed how bitter and jealous she was, and that she was doing it deliberately.

When we moved house when the DC were late primary age, I never gave her my forwarding address, and blocked her on social media. Never seen her since. Not a great loss.

There's no excuse for being fat either but memory problems are developmental so you are born with it, shoving cake in your mouth is self inflicted and IS your fault so why would you pull someone up on a disability but someone being overweight is not to be mentioned because they may be offended.

What on earth are you on about? FIL & his wife have no disabilities and have known me since their early 60s.

Not to me in person, occasionally on cards she has spelt it Mitchell or mechelle.
She's 80 and I truly don't mind. It's not intended to be mean.
Some people struggle with spelling.

Meh, you should see hiw badly mine gets butchered. One guy at work managed to misspell it 3 different ways in one e-Mail. My husband spelled it wrong on my valentines card after 7 years together. We just our sighed about his other woman with the ‘wrong spelling’ there is only one way to actually spell my name as well.

Get a tattoo with the correct spelling on the name.

There fixed it for you.

I have a very ordinary English name. Perhaps not as common now as when I was young (when I was at secondary school 6 out of 15 girls in my class had this name) but still not unusual. Or difficult to spell IMO.

However you would be surprised how many times people misspell it. Usually by transposing the two middle letters. I also had an aunt who would always use the wrong letter because there is a variant of the name that is spelt like that and she seemed never able to distinguish.

Some people are shit at spelling. Does she call you by thd right name? If so, I wouldn't get too worked up