To get irritated at MIL not spelling my name correctly

[teomama]

My partner’s mother spells my name wrong all the time. I am not British, but my name is fairly common and popular European name. I use it to sign off my emails to her, it’s on my WhatsApp and her son spells it right when we text in the family group. We have two children together and still she fails to learn my name. I try not to bother, but it feels disrespectful. AIBU?

My own DM mis spells my DC name every time, and in a different way eyeroll
we ended up having a showdown at DC birthday the night before, when i asked sternly had they managed to spell the name correctly this time?
So annoying

Yet ANOTHER thread where a mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law like shit, and the husband is doing fuck all about it. My DH has always fought in my corner against anyone who has upset me even remotely, and he most certainly would never have let his mother disrespect me. If she's kept calling me Paybog instead of Maybug, DH would have said 'mother, what the fuck is wrong with you?' He would have called her out, give her a short shrift, and put her in her place.

WHY are there so many weak-willed, jelly-spined husbands on here, who constantly let their mothers treat their wives like shit? Whilst they say NOTHING?!

As many posters have quite rightly said, there is NO excuse to constantly get it wrong. It's rude and disrespectful, and in many cases, is done deliberately.

My sister still spells my surname wrong….after 30 years 😂I really cannot get worked up about it ! As a family we just giggle..life is too short to get annoyed about the small stuff!!

Both my parents spell my name differently than it's spelt on my birth certificate but them My Mum spells her name differently from her birth certificate. She only realised recently.

I confuse my grandchildren's names, I tell them if they get the right initial it's a wash!

Yet ANOTHER thread where a mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law like shit, and the husband is doing fuck all about it.

this! Why doesn’t he say, ‘mum-do you know that you spell X’s name wrong every time you write it??’

My parents do this with my other half. He’s British and a traditional Christian name (shortened). I don’t know why but it bothers me more than him. It’s absolutely not malicious as they love him, but they’re daft as a brush so I put it down to that. I suppose it depends on the relationship you have with her if it’s pointed or not.

Being bad at math has nothing to do with it!! MIL can look back at old Christmas/birthday cards, whats app or FB to check how the OP's name is spelt!!! Its not someone she has meant once, its someone in her family she had likely know and will know for MANY years! Its rude and disrespectful to carry on spelling it wrong with so many places to check it.

OP- when you next open a card from her, I'd make a subtle point 'Oh Barbara, after ALL these years, you do know my name is spelt teomama, not tetromama heheheh'

She will either ignore and carry on, or be embarrassed and actually learn you name. If its never been brought up, then she likely isnt aware.

Several people in DH's family spell my DD's name wrong. It is a name with several possible spellings it's true, but she is in her mid 20s and has only ever had the one name, so you'd think they'd have got it right by now. We gave up making an issue of it about 15 years ago though as it's pointless. Likewise, my in laws insist on shortening my name which I absolutely hate but I have given up. They are quite elderly now and are not going to change at this stage so it's not worth arguing about.

I personally get more annoyed about pronouncing names …my daughter has what is now a very popular name but it wasn’t 27 years ago!! I get very annoyed when her name is pronounced incorrectly!!

Calm down!

mine has always misspelled mine which is unusual but I don’t mind. She’s most likely dyslexic but definitely struggles with reading and writing. She’s been known to add a random apostrophe in her own son's name (it ends in s).

After 30 years your sister still spells your surname wrong? WHY?

Life's too short to get annoyed about the small stuff. Calm down!!!

I love this 😂😂

As someone whose name (standard spelling) gets spelled wrong all the flipping time, I can see it's irritating.

But I also could not be bothered to mind too much.

My godmother spelled my name wrong for 17yrs. She was kind, wonderful and loving. It was just a mental block. No way was I going to criticise her.

Similarly, my dh who just can't remember certain spellings, simply can't remember if our nephew is Finlay or Finley and our godson Conor or Connor. He asks me every time. He's not rude or offensive, he simply can't make it stick.

If it's deliberate then yes it's rude but it's sometimes just a complete blind spot.

She probably just got into the habit of spelling your name incorrectly and now doesn't notice it anymore when you sign off. Like she reads your name on autopilot and doesn't notice the different spelling. It happens easily. I've done it with other people's names and they've done it with mine. I'd tell her (nicely) once. If she's apologetic then you know she didn't mean anything bad by it. She might continue to forget but I don't think she is necessarily doing it on purpose.

My word the anger on here.
Some egos are very easily triggered by any perceived slight.

You don't have to care you know, you can just shrug off things and live your life without other people's baggage if you choose.

And that is if it was deliberate.

It's highly likely it's just a spelling they cannot fix in their heads and once they've been getting it wrong it's stuck.
E.g I can never remember how to spell common names such as Michael or Phillip or Sian or whether it's Francis or Frances and still get them wrong when I'm convinced it's right this time.

I just cannot recall detail in spelling.
I still have to check their/thier when writing as I genuinely don't know which is correct.
And I have a philosophy degree, so read and write a lot.

So they may be like me and just crap with recall of letters.

Or they may be deliberately winding you up, and very successfully so.

Anyone who gets extremely angry and views something like this as a huge insult has a very fragile ego.

Ignorant person

Spell her name wrong every time. Her reaction will tell you whether she deliberately spells your wrong.

Tracy Tracey

Though I've fixed the issue since having a smart phone!!

it's not that I don't care, I just cannot remember, it was bad enough before but add in menopausal fog I'm lucky if I remember my own name!!

@surprisedinner what has being overweight got to do with this thread? 🤣

I’m bad with names. I have a real block on some names. Helen and Ruth have been linked in my brain and I accidentally use the wrong name when talking about Helens or Ruths. I think people can tell I don’t do it on purpose because I’ll realise my mistake, shake my head and correct myself. I have also explained (and apologised) to a Ruth I work with why I keep calling her Helen and that I don’t mean to.

That said, unless there is dyslexia, there isn’t an excuse when it’s written in front of you. It takes 30 seconds to check the spelling on WhatsApp, email or text. I think it’s really rude. I have the less common version of a bog standard English name. I once emailed a Christopher and made sure to call him Christopher as that was how he’d signed off his email. He responded with the incorrect spelling of my name, despite me spelling it in my signature. It’s not hard.

@Michellebops Your MIL 'accidentally' calls you MITCHELL?!