To not want to buy drugs for my mother any more???!!!

[hopefullynotintheshit]

Namechanged for obvious reasons!

In my younger irresponsible days I was a bit of a toker, in fact I smoked every day and grew my own - I was quite keen on the stuff! My mum is an eccentric character and always loved a smoke too.

Anyway, that was a few years ago now. I gave it up when I got pregnant and never got into it again due to bfing / co-sleeping. DH still smokes a bit but in the back garden after dc in bed.

Mum moved abroad three years ago, to a remote mediterranean island, and she can't find anyone to supply her there. So since she moved out therte I have been sending her parcels every now and again in the post.

So far this has worked ouy okay, although since dc came I have become more and more uncomfortable about doing it.

But she is going through a v stressful time at present - her dh, my stepdad, is having chemo for cancer.

She just rang today to tell me that the latest parcel was intercepted by customs! The stuff was removed and replaced by a note. There was nothing linking us to the parcel so fairly sure we are safe.

But she had a big go at me on the phone saying I didn't wrap it up properly! I just said that I was sorry, I would do a better job next time although I don't have much spare time these days for endless wrapping.

I am so pissed off and just want to stop doing it. But I feel bad because she is going through a hard time and probably could do with a smoke!

I second Flocci's suggestion of pretending to send it. Then when it never arrives, you can pretend to panic and refuse to do it again because now that's twice in a row it hasn't arrived and they must be watching her post.

For supply, dealing, production (including cultivation) and trafficking, the maximum penalty is 14 years imprisonment.

Just stop doing it.

You have a child and are risking a jail sentence for drug trafficking.

tbh and I know you may not believe this but I have always been careful to send as anonymously as possibl, i.e. using different post offices far away from where I live.

of course it's not foolproof tho and I've been wanting to stop for ages now. i hate wandering round different towns with children and a load of weed in my bag. And I hate that mum has guilt-tripped me into that position.

so anyway. I've built up momentum now to say to her no more.

thanks mumsnet. can always rely on you for sage advice and a bit of name-calling!

I will just be straight with her about it i think.

not trip trap although of course you can believe what you want

prob not what you want to hear, but your mum should not be asking you to this, no matter how stressd she is,no parent should a dd to anything illegal,imo

it's better to be straight I think. And sorry she is going through such a stressful time but as someone pointed out, will be FAR worse if you get caught and you aren't responsible for her feelings, even though you may feel like you are.

YANBU at all! just tell her straight and point out the implications of what would happen if you got caught as maybe she doesnt realise how serious they could be.

Don't send her any more.

Your mother is way out of order.
You are a drug supplier. Walking around with drugs on you and your kids in tow. You could get stopped in this country how humiliating.
Tell her no more and if she respects you she will accept it. If not then what doews that say about her?

Oh my effing god, just stop! What you are doing is illegal. Different countries have different standards re drug supply, but really, your mother is an adult able to make her own choices- if she wants to carry on doing an illegal activity, she should not be dragging you into and potentially landing you in jail for supplying. Let her find her own supply if she's that intent.

There is no way I would do it for ANYONE. Tell your mother to grow up. Although I have never been a smoker or done drugs of any kind, so can understand she is probably addicted but still, she is being selfish.

Also, presuming it is an illegal substance where she is living, you can bet your bottom dollar they'll be running ALL packages addressed to her past the sniffer dogs in future... And if you continue sending them, they WILL find out who you are unless you are not shedding DNA in anyway (no skin cells trapped in the sellotape, hair in the package etc...) My sister works in forensics, and you;d be surprised how little tissue they now need for a full DNA profile...

hi i like to say that i understand exactly where your mum is coming from i used to smoke weed super strength skunk for a long time only stopping when i fell pregnant. The thing with weed is that it takes away the stress it makes you feel calm and with what your poor mother is going through i am not surprised it helps her and probably the thought of being without it makes her not think clearly. I know when i had none i would do anything to get it even if it meant not eating for weeks. The other side is what everyone else tells you which is true. My bil works for customs and trust me they know everything. Just because you use a different post office doesnt mean they wont trace it back. They will also will be on look out for parcels to mum and will look at family first. It doesnt take alot for someone to go to post office you sent it from and watch cctv or show photos. They are very clever. Pity they dont waste energy on catching real criminals but hey. There must be someone who has it where your mum lives it is easy to find especially in med. Just tell her to ask nearest dodgy looking teen! Its gonna be hard for you because all you want is for her to be happy but you just cant risk it anymore perhaps write an email or tell her the truth at the end of the day she will be angry but she loves you and when she thinks straight she will know this. So v sorry about her partner lost dad to cancer three years ago. Hope you are ok and try not to stress these things work themselves out

Hopefullynotintheshit

I think that you are running a massive risk.

I'm sorry that your mums partner has cancer, but for what it is worth, my DH has terminal cancer and I do get to sleep.

And if I didn't I'd go to the doctor and ask for help rather than ask my dd to break the law and risk imprisonment.

your mother is being unreasonable.

You have been an idiot. You've had a near miss, only an utter fool would continue to send drugs through the post.

Have only read the OP.

You have to stop this immediately.

I can't believe she is making you risk your freedom to supply her with drugs. Has to stop. I appreciate she is stressed, tell her to go to the doctor and get some legal drugs to help her through it.

TBH I wouldn't pretend to send another. I would say Mother, you are asking me to take too big a risk and my child has to come first. It stops right now!

no judgements on your character from me!! but i do think you should take this as a wake up call and not push your luck any further xx