To not want a career?

[Holl90]

Anybody else feel the same? I’m happy as I am in my job and don’t really want to progress or want a career? I feel like I should want it though?

You must be incredibly lucky if you can easily survive on c.60K combined with the current cost of living crisis. I’m guessing that you have enough money for treats etc. And no childcare costs? Inherited money for cheap mortgage
I'd don't think lucky, most will get by on alot less than 60k they have to.

Loads of families are on a lot less than £60k and manage. I think our family income is a lot higher than most people we know…we are in the north west….London etc would be different

Complely OK. I had a 'career', was stressed out beyond belief.
Took a lower paid job that's much easier but still interesting etc.
I earn under 30k too, would LOVE more money but don't want the stress and anxiety that comes with it! Nothing wrong with that at all

Plenty of people don’t have or want a career. What makes you think you should have one?

could you support yourself if you and your partner split up?

You must be incredibly lucky if you can easily survive on c.60K combined with the current cost of living crisis. I’m guessing that you have enough money for treats etc. And no childcare costs? Inherited money for cheap mortgage?

That all depends on where you live. I live in Yorkshire. Bills and everything could all easily be covered with 60k.

If we split I would have to re-assess, it would be a struggle but I reckon I would manage. I would work a Saturday for example, there is always ways

I’m already drowning in responsibility at home. I really don’t want to manage people I top of it. Plus it wouldn’t be fair as it isn’t where my priorities lie.

I think the main consideration for women should be if they would be self sufficient if their higher earning partner was no longer around. Could they support them selves adequately. With a follow up question of how do they plan to support themselves during retirement. Too many women let the maternal instincts get in the way of being financially independent - and no, there is no such thing as family money. If you salary can sustain you as an individual without a partner’s help, then a career isn’t a money generating need, but a self fulfillment vessel.

I used to want a career, but since I suck at office politics I will never get a promotion. I think that's true for most people. Nowadays I just job-hop when I get bored or am sick of the low-pay. Switching employers is the only way most people will make any progress at all.

I think what makes a lot of people climb the ladder is or money, but seeing those on the next rung up and thinking they could do better, or wanting to improve how things work in their organisation.

Like say you are a primary teacher and SLT decide to switch to a new maths programme. You don't like it and have good reasons based on professional experience. You end up wanting to be maths lead. Etc

There have been lots of very similar posts recently-try having a read of these-:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/mature_students/4516976-To-start-a-career-at-31

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4521828-To-think-I-should-have-a-career-established-by-31

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4531889-To-want-a-job-rather-than-a-career

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4516368-To-start-a-career-from-scratch-in-early-30-s

My priority will always be my child, doesn't mean I can't give an appropriate amount of effort to my career. I get bored and sidestepping doesn't do much for me, I need to be challenged intellectually, if I did the same job for fifty years I think I'd be tearing my hair out and yes you can switch companies, but ultimately if you are say a receptionist it's essentially the same job wherever you do it.
I've worked in the civil service and honestly think it's a big cause of complacency and coasting.
I think it's about personality and expectations, I have two cousins both have always worked in entry level admin jobs, still live in the same village they grew up in, drink in the same local pub, kids go to the same village school. Their friends are the younger generation of their parents' friends etc. I would feel suffocated and stifled, but they are genuinely two of the happiest people I know. So you know which camp you fall in OP and actually there's probably less stress in the latter.

You do not need to progress further if it is not your wish to do so. Many people stay in entry level jobs or the same position for decades and they are happy. I have a friend who has been in the same role for 20+ years. She has the ability to work way beyond her pay grade but has no interest in taking on more responsibility.

I like progressing in my career. If there is another level, I want to get to it. I have always been ambitious, partly driven by the need for a comfortable lifestyle after growing up in a rather poor household and partly because I like to lead and make decisions. Generally you need to be in/aim for management or a senior position to do so.

I have also learnt that the further up the ladder you go, the less work you do and the more decisions you make. You are in a position to delegate the more time consuming and tedious tasks. Working hard does not equate to a good salary and can be mentally exhausting.

I agree, I think experienced and loyal staff are valuable at any grade but by the time I retired from the civil service three years ago it was as though those qualities were not valued any more.

I'm the same! Working with young kids is a real grind as it is, I'm not looking to add to it! Income and lifestyle all good. My job is sort of mid-level, I do it well and rarely bring any stress home. It allows time/focus for my home life, which has a positive knock-on for the children and DH. When the kids are less dependent I'll probably look to progress another rung.

I think for some people, work is something they do because it’s a vocation, or because they’re naturally competitive, thrive under pressure and like having a goal, and therefore it’s a very important part of their life.

Whereas for other people, competition isn’t enjoyable, they don’t need pressure in order to have the drive to do something, work is something to do for money, and they derive their identity and purpose from other things they do, like hobbies or spending time with friends.

So for some people career progression is self-improvement and achievement, whereas to other people the only point of career progression is more money.

If you like your job and your current lifestyle, you crack on. Well done for refusing to give in to the temptation to say the grass would be greener if XYZ.

I'm the same. I'm a qualified and experienced primary school teacher, but for the past 4 years nearly I've been doing supply teaching. And I absolutely love it. I swan in around 8am, swan out again at 3:30 and forget all about it!
I sit in the staffroom at lunch time and hear all the gripes, moans and complaints, and see how stressed the head teacher is... No thanks!!

We manage on a lot less than this too, admittedly no childcare costs. We are careful with our money but I wouldn't say we go without.

A “comfortable” life means different things to different people. For some it requires a lot more money than for others. I used to earn quite a lot. Then I burnt out. I’ve taken a step back and have absolutely no desire to return to that level of stress. I can’t afford everything I used to be able to. But I enjoy my life so much more.

When I had more money I spent more, clothes, dinners out, weekends away etc etc. I don’t even miss those things now. I was spending money to make myself happy because I was so stressed! Now I have time and no stress, I enjoy trying out a new recipe rather than eating out. I don’t go shopping to “cheer myself up” because I’m already happy. I do still like to go away at times but it’s not to “de stress” anymore, it’s just a nice trip away.

I think it's horses for courses.

I hate routine tasks that I do again and again and just can't motivate myself to keep going.

I like to stretch myself and be learning. After a while what was challenging is easy. Some steps take longer to get into the swing of than others. There's stuff I'm no good at or don't enjoy, that I move away from doing, that's why a career zig zags rather than being a straight up ladder.

If when I'd been working 10 years and was on £30k I'd just stopped challenging myself I'd be bored. I wouldn't have liked to progress in the next step there but moved sideways and then found I loved it and started going upwards again.

I might not progress upwards much more in my career now, I'm probably not good enough at the right things to go 'higher' but I'd get bored doing the same thing all the time so will probably still look for new challenges, learning new things in different sectors or something.

But if you love the stability and clarity of task that comes with always doing what you know well, then I can see why staying out makes a lot of sense. It should be better appreciated and rewarded in workplaces as there's value in that competence at each level.

We both earn about £20k each neither career oriented but both enjoy and are very good at the jobs we do. Time with the children was more important and now they’re adults and we’re both 51 time together.

If you want to earn more, but don't want a career, you could look to retrain for something that pays more, but is still just a job.

This is very true and is also why it's hard to step back. To go from being central to decision making to just told after the fact when you disagree is incredibly frustrating.

This is true for me too. I work in a very senior, well paid job, which I don't find particularly stressful, as I have a team of 25, who do the work, while I make the decisions and delegate. I suppose that situation (where the buck stops with you) could be stressful for some, but I've never found it so*.

*until my new micromanaging boss came and turned it onto a bit of a nightmare