To say something to this mum?

[Gahblaablaa]

Soft play for a birthday party today (multiple kids), one of the mums said to another (Indian mum) your son needs to take his shoes off before he goes in! Mum, he did? -other mum, no
he didn’t! Look he’s going in. Mum, no, that’s Yash not Ajay.

I’m friendly with this mum. Should I acknowledge that it was awkward and a bit wrong, or stay quiet?

I don’t know if she’d get anything out of it at all and the reason I’m asking in the first place is precisely that, I don’t want to come across as some white, woke arsehole. She’s my friend and she looked upset.

This makes no sense.

Your friend is upset and you wait until later and come to the internet to find out if you should comfort her?

on the other hand, you don’t know if she would get anything out of your speaking to her. Even though she appeared upset.

Its really painful watching people tie themselves in knots or seemingly knowing the best way to comfort a friend, because they happen to be not be white.

if a mum had upset a white friend and the white friend was visibly upset, what would you have done?

If she was upset why did you just ignore it until now?

I’m a person of colour. Please don’t get involved and stir shit.

I routinely mistake numerous white friends of DS and DD with each other as does my white spouse. This is because we both have hardly the time to hang out at school gets and pick up from wraparound care or activity clubs is fairly rushed.

Your friend is upset and you wait until later and come to the internet to find out if you should comfort her?

Exactly. If I was a cynical woman I'd wonder if the OP just wanted a controversial thread...

I would say a massive "it's nothing to do with you".
Someone else may or may not have made an error.
Another someone else may or may not been offended by it.
You need to stop overthinking!

’The mum said matter if factory’

😂😂

that cannot be a typo!

Oh & YABU. No issue.

She wasn’t crying or anything, her jaw dropped. I was in conversation with the other mum already and it was just off.

😂

I can see why this could have been an awkward situation, but there’s absolutely nothing to be gained from bringing it up again. If you were going to comfort her, it would have been better to do it at the time.

*judge

I was at a birthday party today and got two of the girls mixed up, both are white and have blonde hair.

The other mum probably feels awful, I think it was a forgivable mistake and I really wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

Oh seriously, fuck off everyone. I’ve said I’m autistic. It’s hard to judge social situations and I’m asking for advice because I want to do the right thing

Most people have just said not to get involved. There have only been a few people who have been goady. In this situation the right thing wouldn't be to tell everyone to fuck off because a few are winding you up!

Its all a bit "white saviour complex".

Someone made a mistake, the mum pointed it out, job done.

If you were to swan in and start acknowledging perceived racism, or apologising on behalf of white people (happens more often that you would think) or whatever you were planning to do you could very well end up embarrassing your new friend.

If she is upset and wants to talk to a friend then be there, but it just sounds like a mix up that's probably been forgotten now.

Why would you wade in and say something!

'im white and clueless' - It's all a bit 'white saviour' if you ask me, it's done now, I genuinely doubt it's a big deal and if your friend looked upset then be nice to her. Other than that leave well alone

Are we really at a point where it's racist to acknowledge that - generally speaking - Southeast Asian people tend to be more homogenous in hair colour, hair type, eye colour and body type than white Europeans, ergo they can (at a passing glance) look fairly similar to one another to those of us socialised in predominantly white countries?

You are trying to imply she was racist and why is your mind going there. She was most likely mixed up the parents.

I see I pretty much copied someone else's comment here 🤣🤣 typed before getting to the end, but hey glad I'm not alone

Shouldn't drip feed then

I did this at swimming too. I only realised it wasn't my kid when another one started waving. I was mortified with myself 😂

They are not at all alike. It’s like comparing Danny Devito to Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Im not white and this would piss me off, if you try to get involved in something you perceive.

everyone was a bit harsh