To say something to this mum?

[Gahblaablaa]

Soft play for a birthday party today (multiple kids), one of the mums said to another (Indian mum) your son needs to take his shoes off before he goes in! Mum, he did? -other mum, no
he didn’t! Look he’s going in. Mum, no, that’s Yash not Ajay.

I’m friendly with this mum. Should I acknowledge that it was awkward and a bit wrong, or stay quiet?

I confuse the white children in my daughter’s class.

so you’re inferring she’s racist because she mixed up two children? I could easily mix
up children in my child’s classes and not because I’m racist. Keep out of it and stop stirring.

This^

I get my own kids mixed up sometimes when my brains half on something else and they are running around etc and they arnt even the same sex, doesn’t mean it was a race thing, and drawing attention to it for your friend isn’t necessarily helpful. What can you really say? ‘Oh it’s bad that she mixed up your son and the other kid because you are all Indian isn’t it? I feel shocked for you’… what use is that? You don’t even no that thats why the woman mixed them up. The only person who would be making it about race for sure is you, so I’m not sure it would come across well. Unless there is more to it and you have reason to think this woman is actually racist.

I don’t know if she’d get anything out of it at all and the reason I’m asking in the first place is precisely that, I don’t want to come across as some white, woke arsehole. She’s my friend and she looked upset.

I’m not going to say anything by the way, I think
theres a clear consensus.

See that’s my feeling, but I'm not sure if I'm overreacting! I don’t want to cause a problem where there isn’t one. I am white and clueless.

If you're white and clueless, keep out of it.

How would you like it if you were the one who made the mistake and some white, clueless woman jumps in to stir it up and make it worse?

I’m sure the lady who got confused feels mortified. Nothing gained by you someone not involved in their conversation jumping in.

My kid with brown curly hair and glasses is regularly confused with another kid with brown curly hair and glasses when people only know them in the passing.

I don't see the issue here.

The shoe police should have minded her own business and so should you.

It was just a mix up between kids. I've seen it happen loads of times at school things where parents have mixed up whose kid is whose. It could be two blonde kids, two kids with glasses, just because the two kids were of a similar skin colour doesn't mean is was racist.

Maybe it was ignorance on the part of the shoe police but hours later isn't the time to pull her on it you should have said it at the time if you felt they strongly.

Jeez, some mum sees the back of some small child running towards soft play and gets them mixed up with another child and this somehow becomes a racist issue that you need to become involved with?!

Stop looking for issues where there aren't any. It's mind-numbingly exhausting for the rest of us.

Oh God please don't say anything, I had no idea who 70% of the kids at any small child event were, ever, they're all kids with snotty nose, over stimulated and needing the toilet with the same JoJoMama jumpers at a certain point in life, and one looks a lot like another if you ask me, but not because of ethnicity-because of random small childness (sorry).

And also, you can't be much of a friend if you're asking the internet whether you should comfort her when she's upset.

To add, once I had a super vigilant 20 mins tracking my kids every move when he was swimming in a really busy pool (first time in without me, he was young ish). I literally had the shock of my life when he popped up next to me on my towel while i was still watching him in the pool having not taken my eyes off him for a second - turns out I'd spent 20 minutes watching completely the wrong child!

tbh I constantly mix up 3 girls in DS1's class. They are all 12. All tall. All have long blonde hair they wear straight. I can never work out which is which. (They are not triplets either).

Doesn't help they are Eve, Evie and Milly either tbh.

I think it is an embarrassing mistake, but you have nothing to do with it so I wouldn't say anything unless your friend (the Indian mum) brings it up to you later. Then I would just say something like "yes I was cringing so much"

I’m a new enough friend! I’ve not acted in any way so I’m not sure how I’m so awful? I don’t want to interfere or say the wrong thing, that’s why I’m asking. I’m also autistic!

Why are you trying to stir shit up? Are you really that bored? I feel sorry for your friend having you ‘in her corner’ to be honest.

Thanks @Yamaya thats what I’ll
do.

I’m not trying to stir shit up, I’m simply asking
if I should say something or not and I’m listening!

Didn't Victoria Beckham mix up Zoe Saldhana and Thandie Newton according to one of them who ran into her at an event?

And?!

I get the little brown haired white girls mixed up in DDs class. Quite often - esp in a soft play situation where they're all jumping and climbing and moving. Often I can't even be sure if one of them is DD (motherly instinct fail).

But on the odd occasion I've mistaken one Asian or black kid for another I've really worried about it, it somehow feels much more loaded when it comes to mixing up two kids of a race/skin colour that isn't mine.

But shit happens, kids of similar age, similar colouring, similar size, moving at speed, kinda look like each other.

This feels like a reasoned response. Thank you!

It would do absolutely no good to bring it up again.