AIBU to want to actually be able to use something I've spent £1000 on?

[Akiddleydiveytoo]

In our back garden we have a fairly sizable lawn area which takes up approximately half of our garden (the rest being patio, decking, shed etc). The grass has never been particularly great quality and mainly made up of moss, weeds, buttercups, daffodils, clover etc but I've never been particularly bothered by this. To me, the lawn has always just been a functional space where I can play with the DC and DDog and I'm not particularly bothered if it looks less than perfect.

Recently, however, we've had some building work done at the back of the house and in the process of the build the workmen completely destroyed our lawn area turning it into a mud bath. Again, I wasn't particularly bothered as these things happen during building works but rather than re-seeding and waiting for the grass to grow back naturally we decided to fork out £1000 and get it professionally returfed. The thinking being that we'd be able to use it again quicker than if we waited for it to grow back (oh how wrong I was!!!)

Since then however, DH has become obsessed with this bloody grass 😡When it was freshly laid he put a 'temporary' fence around it as no one was supposed to walk on it for at least 3 weeks in order for it to bed in. 4 months later and the 'temporary' fence is still there and DH is looking at ways to make it a permanent fixture so the grass 'doesn't get ruined again' 🙄

The DC are now not allowed on it and God forbid the DDog gets on there or shock horror tries to go to the toilet on it. He's out there every week rollering and manicuring it to within an inch of its life and it does look amazing (thick, green, lush, no weeds etc) but what's the point of having an immaculate lawn if we now can't use it?

My argument is, I didn't spend £1000 just to have some 'ornamental' grass that's lovely to look at but has now effectively cut out usable garden space by half because we can't use it whilst DH argument is that we spent £1000 on it so we need to look after it and there's no point spending that money if were just going to 'wreck it' again.

So:

IBU: £1000 is a lot of money to spend so you need to look after the lawn and protect it

INBU: what's the point of spending £1000 on something you can't use and effectively cuts your outdoor living space in half

Yanbu - life is for living! Enjoy that lawn

A bit of both: I think spending £1000 on something only to let your dog shit on it is rank madness. But yes, kids and you should be allowed to walk and play on the grass. Why is DH in charge? Just take the fence down.

YANBU. Get a deck chair out and plonk yourself down in the middle of it!

Lawns with "weeds" ie native flowers, insects etc. that children and animals can play on is kind of the whole point of a garden. Get him a houseplant or a bonsai if he wants to manicure something

im single so dont have to put up with stupid men but your a adult if you want to walk on it you bloody walk on it, hes not in charge of you.

@Sciurus83

I agree. Whilst our original lawn was mostly moss, clover, daisies and buttercups I kind of liked that. It certainly had more character than the homogenous green mass we have now (with the added bonus that I could use it without fear of breaking a blade of grass)

Your DH is BU unless your garden is now an ornamental one open to the public.

Years ago a landscape gardener told Dh & I we could have a nice lawn & flowerbed or we could have kids. We have found this to be true. Little kids need somewhere to run around, your DH is being unreasonable.

Totally agree love single life

Turn it round on him. Stop him walking on carpets and hard floors as you have spent thousands on them too.

If its joint money then tell him he can have half. You and the kids have the other half. Kids balls keep being kicked onto his half. Make him fetch those balls every time. He'll give up eventually.

Thing is if you preferred that then you could have just gone for the cheaper seed version. So I can kind of understand his point. Also why would you want dog shit where the kids play!?

but yes I agree with you. The kids need to play on the grass.

YANBU , that said we have an ornamental fence around one of our patios so that the dog is confined to a paved area when it’s wet / muddy - he’s only allowed on the grass / rest of the garden when invited and supervised as he digs trenches .

I think my desire for him would start to wither and die upon the realisation that he's turning into a grumpy old bugger obsessed with a lawn.

Tell your DH you agreed to pay £1000 to put you back in the position you were in before the builders (ie having a useable grass area) and he’s wrong to unilaterally re-appropriate the £1000 after the fact for something you didn’t agree to (an ornamental garden).

I wouldn't spend £1k on turf and then let a dog shit all over it

Move his fence so it runs down the middle of the lawn.

Have half each.

Actually, no, have three-quarters for you and the kids.

This is why I wouldn't let DH get our back garden landscaped.
He is really precious with stuff and if he spent money on it he would be complaining everytime the kids played football on it.
I think you should have probably had the conversation before you spent the money.
However I am very much with you on this.

Grass is pretty tough. It won't die if walked on or kids playing a it of footie . Tell him to get a grip

Don’t like the idea of dog pissing on grass

and, yes, freshly laid turf needs a bedding in period where no one goes on it (BUT NOT FOREVER)

I simply wouldn't entertain nor tolerate him telling you and your children that they cannot use the lawn.

Absolutely batshit.

Stop allowing him to boss you in your home.

What a twat.

I saw this as a woman married to a man with a lawn you could tee off.

The children have played football there, run around with their friends etc.

Simply ridiculous.

That would drive me insane. We're stopping cutting our grass apart from a small border to we can grow as many weeds/wildflowers as possible. Our neighbour spends hours keeping theirs tidy/sterile. It's one of many reasons I don't like them.

The money spent is irrelevant. How you use the space is a joint decision.

Tell him your ds must be allowed to play on the grass and he can train the dog to toilet in another area of the garden.

Idiot man. It needs to be walked on and cut regularly or your 1k will have been wasted. Silly man. Take the bloody fence down. People plant lawns as they're tough enough to withstand regular use.

Out of interest where do pp’s dogs wee and poo? If you have them
nicely trained to hold it for walkies just wait till they’re old and can barely hold it till you hustle them outside 😂