To refuse to be spoken to like shit by new boss?

[InadequateSleep]

I started a new job a month ago. My line manager says I'm doing really well. However, their manager seems to either not like me or think it's ok to speak to people like shit, as he's been rude to me on numerous occasions since I started. Things such as:

Snatching a message off me when I'd take a message from a phone call for them, without a please or thank you.

Snapping me in front of several staff members and customers to "ANSWER THE PHONE" when it wasn't even my phone that was ringing and I was doing another task at the time

Loudly telling me off that I was doing something incorrectly, again in front of customers and colleagues, when I was only doing it the way I've been taught to by my line manager, and the same way that everyone else does it

Snapping at me to "STAND THERE" when he wanted to use my computer for something and I tried to then go off and do another task.

Standing watching me when I'm working with customers in an intimidating way.

The 'ANSWER THE PHONE' event happened today and I told him not to speak to me like that. I've really had enough of him speaking to me like dirt and with no respect. I'm a 40 year old woman, not a child that needs to be told off constantly.

AIBU to refuse to tolerate being spoken to badly? I'll probably get sacked but that's probably better than the effect this would have on my esteem long term

She could well be sacked. It’s not right to speak to people like that but is it worth a job? If she does get sacked, she’s not going to have some sort of lucrative law suit because he was rude! If she’s been there less than two years she will likely get nothing at all.

Or he has a tiny one.

The bully colleagues at work.

YANBU. What a despicable man.

I've got a colleague who is hectoring too, it's like she can only speak in imperatives😡, who the hell does she think she is? I wouldn't speak like that to the most junior staff member or anyone for that matter. It sounds so contemptuous. Weirdo.

The amount of times I have witnessed managers in shops do this to staff and every time I call the manager over and give him/her an even louder dressing down in front of the staff member he/she has just belittled. Then I follow up with a call to the store manager, or head office if it was the store manager.

Can you tell I had bosses who tried this on with me when I worked in shops! I would follow them off the shop floor and then say to them "How dare you speak to me like that in front of customers" Then walk off again. Only one ever tried it again. Which resulted in me getting the regional manager involved who basically told her to wind her neck in!

No job is worth putting up with this type of shit!

I had this, in a care home, out of all places.

Some of the coworkers were extended abusive, as well as the managers. They would constantly talk to us like we’re naughty children, snap, dismiss sexual harassment, it was a lot. 3 years in this place destroyed my mental health, I was having panic attacks every day, even on days I wasn’t working, just when thinking about having to return.

It’s a shame as the people we looked after were lovely and I miss them. It was also minimum wage, for night shifts and most weekends.

She could well be sacked. It’s not right to speak to people like that but is it worth a job? If she does get sacked, she’s not going to have some sort of lucrative law suit because he was rude! If she’s been there less than two years she will likely get nothing at all.

It's not just being "rude" though is it? If it's been going on for a number of months, swearing, belittling and also doing it in front of customers, affecting their mental health, then absolutely it can be taken further. It's harassment

@LightSpeeds I had this when I worked at the Range! I walked out it was a terrible place.

Next time they say something nasty say; "can you please repeat that?" and make a big thing of writing it down.

When this happens in front of colleagues, FACE HIM DOWN. The embarrassment will be all his.

Say, in a clear firm level voice all can hear " Don't speak to me like that Mr X, it's really inappropriate".

My daughter works there and this is how the manager treats his staff (but worse)!

I’m sorry that’s terrible.

It was like that for me. And how other staff spoke to newer members of staff too. I only lasted working there a few days it was that bad.

A similar scenario has happened at my workplace and persons concerned both put in official complaints - and they were never treated badly again.
Interestingly enough, neither of those who complained new they other had complained too. There may be a history of ill-treatment of employees here- and you will never know unless you raise it.
As this bullying is happening at your workplace, they have a duty of care towards you.
They cannot dismiss you if you put in a formal complaint, as you then will have cause for unfair dismissal.
Good luck OP and good on you for speaking up - It can be hard to stand up to bullying at the workplace.

Next time he says something to you in front of colleagues or customers, turn to them and ask for them to write down what they’ve witnessed and give it to you.

I was in a high street shop recently when I witnessed a manager call out a member of staff at the till in front of a shop full of customers. It was embarassing for her and the customers and when I got home I reported it to customer services it's definitely not acceptable.
I got a lovely reply saying that an investigation would be held and a visit organised by the regional.manager, they also agreed it was not acceptable, these people cant be allowed to get away with it.

I'd ask him to meet me in the staff room then I'd tell him to stop being so fucking rude.

If as a customer I saw someone being rude to another member of staff in front of me I'd tell them to not be so fucking rude, and unprofessional.

I would have answered the phone & hit him with it. What a fucking a-hole

Oh yes, I really would have hit him. With the phone he wanted answered. I won't put up with that shit from anyone.

There is only one answer to that and it is:

"Please don't fucking swear at me".

YANBU.

You should inform your line manager. They need to know all the times you've been treated like shit.

Not very helpful advice is it? Although I think you know that. Even if you don’t need a job, no-one really wants to be charged with assault. There is a middle ground between lying down and taking it and punching him in the throat, and I think it’s probably that ground the OP is aiming for.

YANBU. I have just resigned from a job (in retail) that I started only recently. The manager was a deeply unpleasant person (lots of shouting, appalling management), but obviously valued by more senior management. I didn't want to bang my head against the wall by trying to get anything to change. Can you maybe get a transfer within the same organisation?

It is neither normal or acceptable at all. The fact that you have accepted it as being so is bloody awful.

Unfortunately where I work it's the bosses that belittle us staff on a daily basis and quite often moan about us to her customers in front of us.

It's embarrassing and highly unprofessional

I've brought it up over the years to them both and it settles down for a week or two but then it starts again

Absolutely dreadful

That was my first thought too!