Should the Deputy Head have been allowed to do this?

[SandwhichGenerationGal]

DD has four year old twins. They attend nursery school 09.00-3.15.
Twin 1 was sent home early with a temperature. DD kept her off the next day and she developed diarrhoea. I was visiting but needed to leave at 2pm to go to work (I am a nurse). Suggested she call school and ask to collect twin 2 at 2pm so I could stay at home with twin 1 and new baby (I don’t drive and school half hour walk). DD rang school (gave reasons for wanting to collect early) and was told deputy head would need to give permission and would call back. She didn’t call so DD phoned again and was told she was in a meeting. DD then drove to the school and asked to collect twin 2. Was informed deputy head had refused permission. Suggested their dad could collect her at the normal time or she could go to after school club, (has never been before and doesn’t even know what it is). DD said neither option was acceptable. DSIL is a doctor and can’t just leave at a moments notice (of course he would if it was emergency) and twin 2 was unprepared for attending after school club for the first time). Deputy head refused point blank and DD had to come home. I ended up staying and was late for work.
When did schools become so obsessed with their attendance stats that they take priority over the child’s health and well being?
They are four FFS and not even legally required to be in school.
Was the deputy head within her rights to refuse this or is she just a power mad controlling jobsworth? DD didn’t even get into the school, it was all done over the intercom. I am livid.

Just noticed she isn't even in reception only nursery, then this is utterly absurd and deserves a letter of complaint to the school.

I'd understand the deputy head a bit more if they were in actual school, but they are in nursery and I'm sure it's not a regular thing.

I am sure they would have also moaned if she took a sick to pick up spreading germs.

I rang up the school last minute a while ago as my daughter was offered a very last minute appointment for something, they couldn't not let her go obviously but I told them I'd have to pick my oldest up too as ha no one to collect him. They were fine..

Your DD needs to sort out her arrangements for childcare. But on the other hand it did seem a bit unreasonable of the head to refuse permission as long as it wasn't a regular occurence.

I once picked all my kids (much older) an hour early as one had medical apt and couldn't get Anyone to have the other two and wouldn't have been back in time and school were fine

I think the fact that they are not even statutory school age points to the fact that this was very unfairly dealt with.

Letter of complaint stating your rights as a parent.

Utterly bizarre. She’s your child you needed to get her. She’s not even school age. Even if she was school age school can’t stop you collecting it’s not prison.
I think the asking for permission thing perhaps set it off. I’d have called saying I’ll be picking twin up at 2pm. The reason you needed to collect is irrelevant.

It sounds like the DD is at home on maternity leave (or is a SAHM). So why on earth does she need to "sort out her arrangements for childcare"? The only issue here was needing to drag a sick child with diarrhoea to the school unnecessarily. You surely aren't suggesting that every SAHP needs to have alternate childcare arranged for such a possibility at all times?

Even if they were of statutory school age, school cannot and has has no right to insist they keep a child unless there is some safeguarding concern that stops them going with a particular adult.

Seeing as I know many who take their children out of nursery for holidays, I find this hard to believe. Taking a child out of nursery an hour early when they don’t even have a legal duty to be in school wouldn’t be an issue.

Thank you everybody. DD has made a formal complaint.
re: those saying would have demanded they release the child. DD was in a very difficult situation. She couldn’t even get in the door. All communication was through the intercom and whilst she argued her point, she was aware time was getting on, she wasn’t getting anywhere with them and she knew I had to leave so she just came home.
This is the first time she has had to make such a request but will be better prepared in future and there will be other times I’m sure.
Its the sheer inflexibility and lack of understanding that I don’t get. They know for sure one child is sick because they sent her home, but still think it’s ok for the parent to drag sick child out of their home to collect the other child. Twin 2 was already anxious about having diarrhoea, not a chance she was going out.
thank you all anyway. I appreciate the support.

That is absolute rubbish! If Mum collects them early on a daily/ weekly basis, then I understand school’s reluctance, but for the reasons you’ve given, they should absolutely have allowed collection. I would have asked to speak to the Head and in fact, I would speak to the Head on Monday. Both girls could have been kept home to make life easier, but your dd did the right thing in sending one in.

surely they cannot stop a legal guardian from taking a child out. no matter the reason if a child has to be picked up then surely they cannot stop them :S

The fact that the child is 4 means that attendance is optional anyway surely?

School have no parental responsibility for the children. Legally they have no right to withhold the child. No member of staff can give permission because it’s not theirs to give. Complaint all the way, unacceptable behaviour.

I don't blame the deputy head for not wanting to get involved with the pick up arrangements of individual children in the school. It's a ridiculous idea. And for the convenience of the parent, not the

The afterschool club was a good solution & it was rejected for no good reason. Why would your grand daughter be upset at going to a familiar part of the school, with people from her class, professional carer used to dealing with small people and loads of toys & activities? Is she made of glass?

The normal thing to do in this situation to find another parent who lives round the corner from you to do you a favour and you reciprocate when they need it. You call the school and say they will be collecting.

@ RosesANDHellebores- perfectly summarised - thank you

They might think the OP is lying and that's why they voted UR. A school can't refuse to allow a parent to collect a child. They can't keep a child against a parent's wishes. You don't even need to give a reason to remove your child from school early.

@ mellicauli - The deputy head does want to be involved, far too involved in fact. Nobody leaves the school without her permission and she does want to know the reasons why to inform her decision so wind your neck in.
The after school club was not a good solution. It is not in a familiar part of the school and nobody else from her class goes to it.
You clearly have no understanding of nursery age children and are just being goady

Deputy head is wrong and the children aren't even legally obliged to be there. I would be fuming!

@ Viviennemary - Her arrangements for childcare are sorted. Her DH takes them and she picks them up (she is currently on maternity leave). This usually works very well until a situation arises such as this (which could happen to any other parent). She also had a solution (collect other child early) but the school said no.

@ angelikacpickles - thank you 😊

That's crazy I would have been fuming. I collected DD early from school last week as I had a hospital appointment with another DC across town and it was a logistical nightmare so the easier thing was to drop older DD to my mums near where my appointment was. Absolutely no issue at all.

@SandwhichGenerationGalI know exactly what 4 year old children are like and I do have a different perspective from you.

For the most part I think children are pretty resilient, and will cope with whatever little hiccups life sends their way. I also don't think you do them any favours by underestimating them.

Schools are here to educate your children, not to sort out your domestic arrangements.

I also think it's really quite rude to call someone goady for stating their opinions. Maybe you should get a backbone as well..

Except there was no need for this 4 year old to be ‘resilient’, as she could have just left nursery an hour early on one particular day.

@ReadyToMoveIt We're talking about going to after school club here.Not going across London on 2 buses,