"Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

[dizzydizzydizzy]

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf.

2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it.

Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair.
I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping.

Was I being rude? Or was she?

Anyway, OP I personally wouldn’t let my kids walk/jump on something people sit on in any event but I imagine people that would are probably touchy. As previous posters said, it probably would have been easier if you just said ‘I’m not feeling well’ as she obviously got unnecessarily affronted.

I think it's actually irrelevant if OP was sitting or lying down.

OP was on a bench. A woman and her children came to join the bench that was already occupied. The children then proceeded to jump on the bench.

I'm really struggling with how anyone can think this is okay?

I agree. I think it’s that simple.

This. 100 times over. It's beyond belief people even consider the op to be even slightly unreasonable.

Because the area was for everyone, not just people wanting a nap. Unless you have a medical need for it, you can't just randomly designate an area as your private nap zone. If I could, I'd make everywhere my personal nap zone. (Not even joking.)

The OP said that other people used the area for napping, not that you were actually supposed to do that.

If there's plenty of space, yes, it winds me up irrationally if people want to use the space immediately next to me, but in public areas, you just have to put up with it. They're communal spaces, with all of the irritation that entails.

I didn't bother adults as a child, but it wasn't because they were adults. I disagree with adults getting special treatment just because they're older than you - it's about generally being kind to your fellow humans based on need. A younger person with a disability for example trumps an older person who is completely fit and healthy. Without a brief explanation, there was no reason why they should have assumed the OP had a greater need than them just because she was older.

I don't see the harm of children playing outdoors. It doesn't sound as if they were being malicious to the OP, just that they, like she, quite liked that spot and wanted to share it. It wasn't a case of the OP justifying why she should be there, rather justifying why they shouldn't have been. Honestly, just one sentence would have avoided all this.

But if someone is lying down and then there are no spaces left then surely a simple...

"Excuse me"

would suffice. Rather than invade and attack?

If it was gigantic as you say OP it wasn't really for one person to hog was it.

it was probably full of dog shit from all those lockdown dogs. Would she be allowed to complain to the dog owner if it came up and pounced on her while she was lying there...or would pps be saying dogs will be dogs, and dogs have every right to be on the grass and maybe she should have been on a bench?

An adult should not need to lie on a dirty floor when there is a bench available.

To use it to rest as it's purpose sure. As a play gym? Not so much

Perhaps we're picturing it differently.

From the OP's description, I'm picturing a long bench designed to be shared by multiple people that the OP has seemingly commandeered by lying over it, rather than sitting on it. The kids haven't stopped her from lying all over it and taking up more than one person's normal fair share; instead they're using the small part of the bench that is available to them for play.

Oh ffs. Fuck off with the grass!! Could the kids not have played on the grass? Ya know, being as the bench was occupied and not intended for being played on.

and for those at the back NOT EVERYONE CAN GET DOWN AND BACK UP AGAIN OFF THE PISSING GRASS

I am perpetually amazed at the sheer number of people who think that kids can do whatever the fuck they like, and not give a shit about causing an annoyance to other people while they're doing it.

Ffs you’re massively over complicating this. It’s not about balancing needs, or who had a greater right to the bench. The OP is not complaining about having to share the bench. The OP is complaining that the behaviour of the children was disturbing her because it was making the bench shake. That’s antisocial and should have been stopped by the mother.

The children should not have been jumping on the bench regardless of whether anyone else was using it at the time.

It's also very rude to let your children jump around directly next to someone trying to rest in any context.

In short, there is no situation where the mother was not in the wrong here. This is just bad parenting.

Well feel lucky you don’t have to. Sometimes I have to because I’ve had a seizure or am crippled by fatigue.

Where were you?

I don't see that using an "upcycled" bench to jump off is any more or less reasonable than using it as a bed

I agree with this. But off and rude to have a nap in a public place.

@pixie5121 a bench isn’t supposed to be slept on either!!

And I don’t agree that I’m ableist, or that a public place is appropriate for a nap. Are other people seeing lots of napping people in public? I’ve never, ever seen this bar a pub at 2am.

But for argument sake, let’s say it IS an appropriate place - it doesn’t mean everyone around you has to be quiet or respect your sleeping habit. It’s a public place, for everyone to use, it wasn’t the OP’s bench for her exclusive use.

Naps in public places are fairly common, what are you on about? People fall asleep all the time on public transport, in parks, on beaches, even sometimes in cafes and pubs! It's not rude at all.

Benches aren't play equipment. It's rude to disturb someone sitting quietly whether they're napping or reading a book. The children should not have been allowed to jump on the bench anyway, let alone right next to anyone.

I’ve never once seen this in 4 decades - on a train yes but you’re own your seat that you’ve bought, and other people can buy seats wether you’re napping or not,, not on something that’s for public use.

It’s rude because you’re getting in people’s way. Sleeping in a cafe - WTAF, how is that ok? Aside from the fact that you’re then taking a place someone else could be using, it’s a bit shit for staff who may be in a position where they have to wake you.

I agree benches aren’t okay equipment but neither are they beds - the OP didn’t reserve the right to have her sleep undisturbed in a public place.