"Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

[dizzydizzydizzy]

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf.

2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it.

Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair.
I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping.

Was I being rude? Or was she?

Most of us have long covid and I’ve never come across anyone who needs to lie down

What an odd thing to say, Onwards22. "Most" of us don't have long covid, some of us do. And of those of us that do have long covid, we know enough about the condition, and are aware of others with the condition, that we know having to suddenly lie down is a very, very common symptom. It's like having your strings cut It's one of the things that makes the condition so debilitating, because you never know when it's going to come upon you.

Thanks again all.

@ecnatsid

Urgh “kids are kids!”

your attitude is why there are so many entitled badly behaved kids around. We have to teach our kids compassion, manners etc.

If I was out with my kids and saw an adult lying down on bench with eyes closed id assume they might be unwell and needing the rest.

it won’t do my kids any harm to not jump up and down in that particular spot so I would stop them from doing so.

Why are people assuming OP didn't need to lie down? They said they did. Why are people doubting OP's experience, their health condition, if someone was puking up and said I need to be sick in that bin right now you wouldn't say oh really?!! Could you not be sick over there 10 meters further on.

It all depends on the tone you used when you said it. If it was a genuine request in a nice tone of voice, the mum should have responded in kind and asked the kids to move away from you. If you snapped and started ordering other people's kids around in an irritable tone, I'd have thought it was rude. Sounds like you were in somewhere like Granary Sq in Kings Cross or outside the NT in the south bank? If so these are two of the relatively few places that little kids can go in the city to blow off steam, and they're deliberately designed for people of all ages (including children) to convert to as many uses as possible, because so many people around there live in flats with no gardens. You can lie down if you like but you don't get to demand other people adapt their otherwise reasonable behaviour to suit your needs. You do get to ask nicely if they would, though.

But the behaviour wasn't reasonable @PacificState

It was a 5m long bench. The kids had no need to jump 20 - 30cm from OP's feet.
Sure - the kids can't be expected to know/remember that as they let off steam.
But their mother should have known, & asked her kids to give the other bench occupant some space, by moving 2 or 3 metres away from her for their jumping game. I'm amazed that you feel OP was in any way unreasonable to not want people jumping about at a 30cm proximity.

Omg I'm so sorry I had no idea I'd make a massive long post when I did that.

Yes. It is nasty.

Ah good sorry I find the quotes hard to follow

Then my apologies OP. But I think that's where the encounter went wrong. The mum would have seen you doing something unusual, because lying on a bench like thst would have looked odd to her; and then telling her children off, which many parents get very upset about, and her reaction may have been coloured by that.
She was wrong in not stopping the children, but
I think you may find people are more understanding and accommodating if you explain why you want them to do something.

Always one who supports the anti-social brats and their breeders.

WHAT have I just read? A woman, presumably dressed in tidy clean clothes, if she's in a work break, needed to lie down because she was feeling unwell.

In the entire area there were 2 other people, so when she took up maybe a third of a bench, a mother decided it was OK for her 2 children to use it the space as a gym, and had no thought of how it might affect the person next to them.

Even if I'd been upright, eating my sandwiches, and these kids were bouncing on and off creating waves, it would've taken me 1 minute to tell them to stop. No one has the right to invade space in such a thoughtless way, even her charming little scamps.

Having said that, once again, I'm shocked that I'm shocked.

Many parents go nuts when anyone asks their precious kids to do anything. That includes the teacher! No YANBU.

Sorry you’ve had a harsh time @dizzydizzydizzy
just your username should tell people enough. So many people with disabilities need to lie down to mange their symptoms, why shouldn’t you and the mum was absolutely an arsehole.
long covid is a bitch.
i hope all those laughing at someone needing to lie down stay super healthy all their lives and don’t laugh at say someone sitting down in a wheelchair.

I wouldn't let my DC do that its just lazy entitled parenting. Its not great to tell someone else's kids off as a previous person suggested next time talk to the parents. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I probably would have put up and shut up 🤦‍♀️

It just seems very odd to lie out flat on a bench like that, was there no grass?

I think the ages of the people involved is completely irrelevant.

What was relevant was that the OP didn't feel well, but she didn't communicate that.

Based on her description of the area, I don't think anyone's needs/wants should have ordinarily taken precedence - but of course, someone feeling unwell always jumps up the priority list. You do need to explain you're unwell though, if you want that special treatment. It's not always obvious if someone is feeling poorly.

There was no need to mention she had long Covid, just for the OP to briefly say that she didn't feel well and then to make the request to move away from her.

Oh come on!! What if the grass was wet or damp? What about bugs etc? What if the OP has mobility issues that make getting up and down difficult? Sure why do we need benches or seating outside anyway so long as there's grass? This thread is actually ridiculous

She was lying on it not sitting, when waves of fatigue over take you you wouldn’t give a shiny shite about bugs.

You didn't answer my earlier question of whether you specifically went to that public space to lie down, or if you happened to feel unwell whilst enjoying the public space.

If you need to nap during the day to manage your long Covid, really, your employer should be letting you work from home if possible, or making space in your work environment for you to have a rest. It doesn't sound right that you have to seek out a spot outdoors to lie down to cope with it all - is there, for example, a multi-path or medical room? It's warm outside now, but it won't always be.

But as I've already said, if you just happened to be out and it suddenly became too much, if you communicated that fact, people should have keen more compassionate towards you and left you in peace, even though they didn't have to.

That would have been the straight forward option.

I didn't say she was sitting on it. A woman lying on a bench (doing no one any harm) is more of an issue than a rude mother with unmannerly children. Welcome to 2022. I dread to think what half the children being raised nowadays will turn out like.

Doesn’t matter whether it’s the place for a nap or not. The kids’ behaviour would be antisocial and spoiling the enjoyment of anyone else on the bench whether they were napping or not, and should have been stopped by the mother. It shouldn’t have got as far as the Op saying anything because the mother should have stopped it.

OP YANBU.