"Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

[dizzydizzydizzy]

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf.

2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it.

Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair.
I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping.

Was I being rude? Or was she?

@mathanxiety

you sound like a you don’t have a fucking clue about long covid.

For which you sound count yourself lucky.

Try developing some empathy and losing some of the ignorance

Reminds me of a time in the cinema when I asked the dad and his kid behind us to stop talking during the film. The dad told me they weren’t going to stop and spent the next few minutes telling his kid who was about 8yo why you should never let anyone tell you what to do. 🙄

I always tried to bring my Dd up to be considerate of others and if someone asked us to stop jumping off a bench thing and they were being affected by it I’d have told the kids to stop and found an actual play park.

I agree OP is weird... but OP was not rude.

I'm weird too. <waves at fellow weird people>

the Mum was rude not to respect needs of an obviously ill person.

Hope you're feeling better soon, OP.

Maybe that's it. I can't see what was weird because I am probably also seen as "weird".

Anyway the mum shouldn't have let her kids jump near OP wether they looked ill or not. It's not a bouncy castle.

Ridiculous argument. Both parties were using that bench in an unconventional way. Neither had the first clue as to why the other was doing so. The woman no more knew OP was ill than the OP and people on here know the mother's circumstances and why on that occasion she was allowing her children to jump on the bench. She might be a fabulous mother, who just for that time had other things on her mind or maybe was even unwell herself. No more or less likely than a woman needing to lie down on a public bench due to long covid.
Even the OP recognises that the outcome may have been better had she explained herself, as other than a few very anti social exceptions, most people will accommodate genuine needs if they are made aware of them.

I disagree, jumping off the backrest of the bench is not what those benches are for

I don’t see an issue with addressing the children directly. They were the annoyance so perfectly reasonable to ask them to stop

Exactly, I don't see how this situation is any different to telling someone in the cinema to stop kicking the back of your chair etc

I have low blood pressure and on a hot day, I too have chosen to lie on a, wait for it, PUBLIC bench. Scandalous, I know.

Seriously though, why is lying down in public considered odd? But letting your kids jump and rattle a bench someone is using completely fine?

You see people sleeping on trains and buses all the time, which are public spaces. I've never gave it a second thought.

Also the posters who think disabled people should stay home and never venture out should be ashamed of themselves. That's despicable.

@Cloud16 exactly and children jumping off the back of the bench would be annoying if you were sitting on it too

We can be assured these parents children aren't jumping 20-30 cm from them.
It's quite alright to do it to strangers as long as they aren't bothering the parent.

Personal space used to be taught very early.

The kids were landing about 1m from their mum and 20-30cm from me.

It wouldn't have been nearly so bad if the mum had sat by my feet and the children had jumped the other side of her. I was actually also a bit scared that the kids would make a mistake and land on my feet.

Hi fellow weird person!

Perhaps the mother of two young kids was also tired, I think I would just have moved

Not the ops problem that the mum has child's that she lets run riot

Is it the mums problem that op is tired then? Public spaces need to be shared

It's the mums problem that her kids have no manners.

@KettrickenSmiled the relevance is deckchairs are for lounging on by one person. Upcycled astroturf and pallets dont sound like a bench to me.

They are also communal.

Yes I think the other woman was rude but you cant dictate how people use communal spaces meant for more than one person. If there is a deckchairs why wouldn't you move there and get away from the noise anyway. Yes OP is in the right if she was their first but it doesnt give her the relaxation she wants does it would you rather be right or happy.

OP wasn't choosing to relax - she was feeling unwell, & needed to lie down.

So she wasn't looking to be either right OR happy in this situation.
Just not bounced on by small children with enough space to carry on their game without near-trampling her!

The mother was probably embarrassed because OP eventually spoke up. Human nature to get defensive in that situation, & that's most likely why the mother got rude & snappy. It's really not a biggie. Neither is expecting not to be jumped on by other people's kids, while in a public space.
Being ordered to go elsewhere because you object to their parent not supervising their invasion of your space is quite a biggie though ... almost as if some parents think their 'spirited' DC are more important than all the other humans sharing public space ...

@Momicrone

that’s crap.

what if the kids took to going round hitting people, or spitting on the pavement, or damaging cars?

Would it be a case of - oh well, the mum is tired??

The op was there first. And kids should be told to stop being annoying little shits when they're being annoying little shits.
You have zero argument

Totally agree with AllThingsServeTheBeam - children should be taught to have respect for adults, rather than clambering all over things that other people are quietly using. YANBU, Op, and I would have 'had words' with mum and maybe been sharp with the kids as clearly mum didnlt have it in her. Pure selfishness on the mother's part.

If mum's tired she could always lie down on the bench as well, and have her kids jump 30cm from her head instead?

What's wrong with lying on a park bench? I often see people lying down, having a rest, lots of homeless people. As long as they're not on play equipment I don't see the problem. OP was there first and presumably there's a whole park for the kids to play in, not right next to someone who is ill. I'd never let kids be do rude

Yes, designed..to..sit..on..