Page 12 | "Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

dizzydizzydizzy · 2022-05-05T18:12:17+00:00

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf. 2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it. Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair. I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping. Was I being rude? Or was she?

Momicrone · 06/05/2022 22:12

She should have given them a couple of screens to shut them up

midsomermurderess · 06/05/2022 22:22

Does anyone ever think about the effect all these excessive nested quotes have on a thread? I bet many like me scroll, scroll, scroll, bloody scroll on past and don't even look at the comment underneath, often no more than 'this' or 'I agree'. It's unreadable. Can people not paraphrase anymore?

Teder · 06/05/2022 22:28

DoorWasAJar · 06/05/2022 22:07

Thank you MN HQ.

@Onwards22 Parents like you make me despair for the future of humanity.

The OP was there first, if this antisocial woman wanted her beloved offspring to use the bench as gym equipment, they should have gone to the other bench.

I think people defending this behaviour have brain damage, there’s no other explanation for being so wilfully obtuse and vile. Frontal lobe damage causes antisocial behaviour, there needs to be more awareness of this.

People are policing how chronically ill people should behave when they’re just trying to rest on a bench, instead of policing children who run feral and misuse the public space. It wasn’t a playground, there are literally places designated for children to go and run feral in.

I don’t think the woman in question behaved at all appropriately and I don’t think the OP was BU but I am quite shocked at you calling people “brain damaged” and using it in a derogatory manner. You said English isn’t your first language, so with respect, please do not say things like that again. It’s ableist and offensive but hopefully you didn’t realise.

Stilsmiling · 06/05/2022 22:45

Rwaged less of whether you could have worded it better, the mother was aware that her kids had come along after you and were disrupting you.

Her reaction is partly why some kids have no respect for adults or authority. They know that their parents will always stick up for them no matter what they do. It’s very sad for them as life won’t work like that when they are adults.

Blantw · 06/05/2022 23:28

You were lieing on a public bench, taking up spaces? I'd have told you to swivel.

Blantw · 06/05/2022 23:31

Lie on the grass then or use the deckchairs.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 06/05/2022 23:45

DawsonsUglyCryingFace · 05/05/2022 19:22

Why were you lying down having a nap in a public place?! Seems a bit bizarre.

Seems a bit bizarre that woman practically told her kids to continue being brats.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 06/05/2022 23:49

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 05/05/2022 19:31

You can spot the parents who let their kids run riot while they sit and chat on this thread…

I'm guessing it's the ones who seem to be more concerned with why OP was there in the first place.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 06/05/2022 23:53

Onwards22 · 05/05/2022 19:39

You didn’t need to lie down.

They were in the wrong though.

They went to a bench that had someone on it and was climbing and jumping all around it.

I don’t think you sounded rude either.

Why wouldn't she need to lie down??

Abhannmor · 06/05/2022 23:53

You were being reasonable. Best not to up the ante though : she sounds like a bit of a thug , telling her kids to keep annoying you instead of using the rest of the bench. You can never predict how such nutters will respond. I feel for you - brother has long Covid too. Its horrible.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 06/05/2022 23:53

girlmom21 · 05/05/2022 19:41

She was on her lunch break too far from home, and needed a rest.

Then she can lie on the grass or recline the seat in her car or ask for a private space at work.

You must be one of "those" moms

Justsaying5 · 06/05/2022 23:56

I'm sorry i think this post is a bit odd. You are an adult and 'needed a lay down' Only babies and toddlers (and addicts) 'lay down' in public. I wouldn't expect that behaviour that you encountered from my kids but I probably would have advised them to swerve the weirdo adult laid down on the bench in public.

myeyesneverstoprolling · 07/05/2022 00:08

It's jaw-dropping and scary how people in this thread are more concerned about why and where OP is laying down, than the other woman's behavior.

I can tell there's people on this thread, who are the "How dare you try to stifle my lil punkin's fun"

Mollymoo67 · 07/05/2022 00:26

Justsaying5 · 06/05/2022 23:56

I'm sorry i think this post is a bit odd. You are an adult and 'needed a lay down' Only babies and toddlers (and addicts) 'lay down' in public. I wouldn't expect that behaviour that you encountered from my kids but I probably would have advised them to swerve the weirdo adult laid down on the bench in public.

Have you actually read the OP's posts properly? She has long covid. But you don't sound like someone who understands chronic illness/invisible disability at all, to be calling the OP a 'weirdo' and comparing her to an addict. Nice set of prejudices you'll be instilling in your kids, then.

Just saying.

Justsaying5 · 07/05/2022 00:27

myeyesneverstoprolling · 07/05/2022 00:08

It's jaw-dropping and scary how people in this thread are more concerned about why and where OP is laying down, than the other woman's behavior.

I can tell there's people on this thread, who are the "How dare you try to stifle my lil punkin's fun"

I don't think this is always the case though is it? I don't think anyone is saying that the kids behaviour is out of line but if u work u don't have the option of a nap (on a bench or otherwise). I know people who also have long covid and carry on, they work as they have to and manage this without naps on public benches. I myself have been through awful circumstances but cannot simply have a nap at lunch on a public bench as my life is too busy and quite honestly I don't feel its appropriate

milkyaqua · 07/05/2022 00:33

Rude people don't like being told that they are rude people and will instead of considering the possibility, and feeling shame, or apologizing, turn around and tell the other person that they are rude (or ignorant, for bonus revenge).

Absentmindedwoman · 07/05/2022 00:34

Justsaying5 · 06/05/2022 23:56

I'm sorry i think this post is a bit odd. You are an adult and 'needed a lay down' Only babies and toddlers (and addicts) 'lay down' in public. I wouldn't expect that behaviour that you encountered from my kids but I probably would have advised them to swerve the weirdo adult laid down on the bench in public.

Only babies and toddlers (and addicts) 'lay down' in public

Honestly can't work out if this is meant to be amusing, or if you are genuinely this thick.

Or is it just that you don't believe that disabled people exist?

Can you really, really not imagine any disability that might mean a person has to lie down for a short spell with not much notice?

If you absolutely cannot - thank your lucky stars for your abundance of health privilege that has cushioned you from the stark reality of how a lot of disabled people go about their normal everyday life.

Justsaying5 · 07/05/2022 00:34

Mollymoo67 · 07/05/2022 00:26

Have you actually read the OP's posts properly? She has long covid. But you don't sound like someone who understands chronic illness/invisible disability at all, to be calling the OP a 'weirdo' and comparing her to an addict. Nice set of prejudices you'll be instilling in your kids, then.

Just saying.

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Clearly you are the one who's mistaken

In the same position but i work...its clearly not an understandable situation for you but I unfortunately am not in a situation to nap in the day...maybe its just jealously.

Absentmindedwoman · 07/05/2022 00:38

I myself have been through awful circumstances but cannot simply have a nap at lunch on a public bench as my life is too busy and quite honestly I don't feel its appropriate

Then you have the luxury of choice.

Not everyone has that luxury. For some, it is quickly sit or lie down, or faint and risk further injury.

Mollymoo67 · 07/05/2022 00:42

Justsaying5 · 07/05/2022 00:27

I don't think this is always the case though is it? I don't think anyone is saying that the kids behaviour is out of line but if u work u don't have the option of a nap (on a bench or otherwise). I know people who also have long covid and carry on, they work as they have to and manage this without naps on public benches. I myself have been through awful circumstances but cannot simply have a nap at lunch on a public bench as my life is too busy and quite honestly I don't feel its appropriate

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How judgemental.

Long covid affects different people in different ways - how people you happen to know manage it isn't some kind of benchmark for what sufferers across the board are able to do. I also know long covid sufferers, one of whom struggles to get out of bed or shower on bad days. I don't have it myself but I do have chronic fatigue and it isn't impossible that I might need to lie down on a bench if I was having a bad day. And I wouldn't care what narrow-minded people thought, either.

Instead of chastising the OP for lying down when she needed to, how about giving her some credit for doing her best and trying to get on with her day as best she could despite having an incapacitating condition? Would it have been better for her to have stayed at home so no one would have to witness her lying down on a bench? Sheesh.

Mollymoo67 · 07/05/2022 00:50

Justsaying5 · 07/05/2022 00:34

Clearly you are the one who's mistaken

In the same position but i work...its clearly not an understandable situation for you but I unfortunately am not in a situation to nap in the day...maybe its just jealously.

Show quote history

Clearly you are the one who's mistaken

In what way?

If what you're saying is you too have long covid/another chronic condition, then obviously you have my sympathies too, but your pps didn't make this clear. And, in fact, if you do, I'd expect you to show a lot more insight and compassion than you've demonstrated on this thread. 🤔

Also, the OP works too, so there's no need for your sarcasm about what's 'understandable' to me. The fact that she was on her lunch break is your clue to that.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/05/2022 01:52

I think she was very rude in the way she spoke to you, and also instructing them to carry on.

However I’m not sure I’d expect to find someone lying down on a public bench either, especially as you didn’t mention having long Covid at the time. I know you maybe shouldn’t have to, but it is an unusual thing to do.

If it’s commonly used for climbing on I guess I can understand why the kids thought it was for that.

Im a bit on the fence I guess!

DoorWasAJar · 07/05/2022 02:09

@Teder How is it ableist to point out a medical fact like frontal lobe damage causes antisocial behaviour? Brain injuries are very common and there needs to be awareness of it.

DoorWasAJar · 07/05/2022 02:14

@myeyesneverstoprolling

It is scary ☹️ I’m moving to a very isolated area cause I have autism and CPTSD and can’t take the stress of being around people lately, as I feel like there’s much more aggression in general.

DoorWasAJar · 07/05/2022 02:22

@Teder BTW I have brain damage myself, so I will say whatever I like about it. Just because English isn’t my first language, there’s no need for you to be condescending to me. I know what I am saying on the topic of brain damage and if you’re not aware of the health and behavioural effects of it, you should read online, there’s a wealth of information.