To ask you to compare yourself from now to ten years ago?

[arizonacardinal]

10 years ago: I was jobless (couldn't hold down a job), no qualifications, drug taking, drinking, partying, having lotssss of unprotected sex, caught drunk driving, homeless, crashed car, 7.5 stone, no motivation, angry, aggressive, frustrated, depressed, alone, untrustworthy, parents crying all the time.

Today: 4th year uni, about to start my masters in social work, clean from all drugs, much rather stay at home with my daughter and animals on a weekend, new car, celibate 3 years, lovely home, 15 stone (not good), motivated, happy, surrounded by so many amazing people, trustworthy, parents proud of me.

I can't believe the difference that 10 years can make, and if someone had told me back then the life I would be living now I would not have believed them.

Any other sharers?

Bump

10 years ago, I was in a great relationship and had career goals that I was working towards.
Today... single, and too broken mentally to work.

Heavier and more cynical 🤨. You sound like you're living a different life, you should be bloody proud of yourself and your massive achievements.

10 years ago: taking drugs, drinking and parting, stealing, u medicated bipolar, having sex with anything that moved, self harming, suicidal.

Now: Masters degree, married, 2 kids, homeowner, great job, medicated and healthy, sober, happy!

Then I was starting a brand new job I'd retrained for and terrified. Dh was alive but ill, Ds was 8. Now I'm widowed, struggling to stay motivated in basically the same job, ds is 18 and life is about to change again when he leaves.

10 years ago I was a SAHM with three small DC. Now I can't believe they're pre teen / teens! I'm back at work 4 days a week in a job I (mostly) love. Still happily married and living in the same place.

10 years ago, unemployed with 2 dc, dc 2 was 7 months old. Emotionally in a mess and struggled mentally and an abusive relationship with no social life
Now dc are turning into amazing teens/preteens, a steady job for 6 years. Mentally and emotionally better. Single but happyish with more of a social life.

SAHM, married 3 small children, now single, work full time time, kids grown up, different pets, different house, feel much more in control of my life.

I was renting a flat in a shit hole and didn't have a pot to piss in. Now I own my own beautiful home and am more financially secure than I ever would have dreamed of. My love life still ended up being a bag of wank but oh well. At least my home will never wake up one day and decide I'm not good enough to live in it anymore.

10 years ago i was single unemployed on benefits mid fifties then got a job a couple of months later
now mid sixties have just left that job work part time fundraising for a cat charity work three days a week, in a good relationship and about to go on holiday tomorrow all i can say is no matter how dark the clouds some of them have silver linings

10 years ago- Single, living and working abroad, travelling, promosing career. In general living a life many people would be jealous of but I was deeply unhappy.

Now- mother, living in the same place for 6 years, working part time in a dead end job, most afternoons spent in the park or playing trains. A life most would consider pretty mundane but I've found my happy place.

10 years ago: not long moved back home to live with my parents after getting out of a horrible relationship with a cheat. Was my heaviest ever. Working part time in 3 jobs as I couldn't get a full time position, so I was exhausted. On so many different supplements as my vit/min levels were so bad I needed some on prescription. Had not long written off 2 cars in 3 months, physical and mental health basically a shambles.
But I also met dh 10 years ago next month.

Now: married to dh with 1 dc, working my dream job as a teaching assistant, have my own home. Go to the gym 5 days a week, am the healthiest I've ever been. Still on a cocktail of supplements, however less prescription and more multi vit tablets. Haven't had a car accident in almost 5 years (touch wood)

Wow OP! That's amazing. Well done.

10 years ago: working on contract in a job I hated, 3 small DC, abusive H, and no idea how to escape

Now: 9 years separated, finally strong enough to profess divorce. I'm in a good job managing a team in the education sector. The divorce is horrendous, my job is fraught with challenges - but I feel like I'm finally finding out who I am, and taking on my challenges head first.

Well done, OP, it sounds like you’ve really turned things around for yourself.

Ten years ago I was temporarily unemployed due to a bout of depression, and was severely agoraphobic. Money was a worry and I was generally withdrawn and miserable.

I’m in a much better place now. Ended up in a job I love and did well. Now I’m not depressed, am financially stable, living somewhere I much prefer. Generally calmer and more settled in myself.

I am a lot fatter, though.

Renting a tiny flat, living in the city, starting out in my career but working very hard and partying even harder with a massive group of "friends". Think I confused having a laugh with my then-boyfriend with being in love and we had just got engaged. It seemed like the right thing to do and it was easy to get swept up in a whirl of 60 hour weeks at work and living for the weekend.

10 years later I have moved out to the suburbs, I own my house, and I am divorced - but have a DP of 4 years. Weekends are for a much more varied range of activities with each other and our two dogs, or a select group of friends, not just drinking and partying to excess. I am much more senior in my career and much more content in general.

Was at home with baby ds. Was waiting to hear if Id got on the SW course. Had no friends, very few aquaintances.

Am now SW at the jobcenter, LOVE my job, have 2 dc in school. Have lots of aquaintances, few friends.

I still have the same car. And DH.

10 years ago .. 35, trapped in an absolutely nightmarish marriage, emotionally, mentally, financially abused. The low-key physical abuse hadn't started yet but it wasn't far off. Mum to 2 school age children and a baby. Zero confidence. Zero self esteem. Making quiet plans to escape but not sure how.

Now.. 45, free of that awful marriage for 8 years after packing some of my kids stuff up in bags and doing a midnight flit with them. It took a while to rebuild but man has it been worth every second. Nice house. 2 DC have reached adulthood and moved out into their own homes, younger DC thriving. Running my freelancing business from home, money hasn't been great during/since covid but I'm committed to rebuilding. Very happily single but certainly not celibate.. Bags of energy. Bags of confidence.

10 years ago... Just lost my business and my home. Bankrupt, penniless. Strangely relieved but mentally battered.
Now.. financially stable, a homeowner, and very very happy.

Another amazing poster! Well done 💪

Impressive OP. 10 years ago I had just moved country and was trying to rebuild my life after a bad break up. Now I have a wonderful hubby 2 gorgeous girls and a dream job.

Some of these stories are amazing.

10 years ago I was heavily pregnant with dc2, married, working in a job I didn't really enjoy.

Now, dc2 is on the countdown to their tenth birthday and double digits, still married, still in the same company but in a role I LOVE. Hoping to move house shortly so that'll be a change.

Well done

10 years ago I was a HCA had no real education, I was studying my nvq in health and social care. It was back when nursing was still a diploma and I needed the nvq. I missed out. So I did 3 nvq in 18 months, gained more experience, re took my maths and English and 2 years ago qualified as a nursing associate. I've just applied to to my nursing degree top up.

@PermanentTemporary 💐xxxx

-10 years ago I was 22.
-I was happy and fresh faced.
-Had 1 child.
-Was in a relationship.
-I was fresh faced and quite pretty.
-I was very laid back and chilled. Bubbly personality and liked people. Life felt simpler.
-Moved in to the house I still live in now.
-Work was on and off.
-I didn’t stress about things having to be perfect.

Whilst I was very happy, certain things had also started to drag me down. But I hadn’t really noticed too much at that point. I was too busy shrugging things off in my then healthy mind to really consider any red flags waving in my face.

-Now I am 32.
-I now have 4 children.
-I’m sleep deprived (not because of children) and my looks show it.
-I feel broken these days. But I also feel strong too. It’s a weird contradiction of feelings. I guess the things that have broken me have taught me life lessons.
-I’m still a nice person. But I’m not the lovely smiley person I used to be. I’m much more cynical and just kind of have a zero tolerance policy for certain things and people these days.
-I suffer from extreme sadness and nerves.
-Single and satisfied with it being that way.
-Currently not working due to family commitments.

10 years ago: single, but in an unhealthy dynamic with an ex, living alone in my first solo rented house, online dating unsuccessfully, going without hot water because I couldn't afford both gas and electricity at the end of the month, feeding myself on a fiver a week with large bags of porridge oats and pasta, convinced every decent bloke on the planet had been snapped up.

Now: married to a fantastic man with stability, two children, own a house i love and completed my first big renovation on it, recently got a new job with a better commute and better salary, 2.5 stone heavier but finally, tentatively feeling like i've got the headspace to consider my health more and not just mindlessly comfort eat through the stress.