To ask you to compare yourself from now to ten years ago?

[arizonacardinal]

10 years ago: I was jobless (couldn't hold down a job), no qualifications, drug taking, drinking, partying, having lotssss of unprotected sex, caught drunk driving, homeless, crashed car, 7.5 stone, no motivation, angry, aggressive, frustrated, depressed, alone, untrustworthy, parents crying all the time.

Today: 4th year uni, about to start my masters in social work, clean from all drugs, much rather stay at home with my daughter and animals on a weekend, new car, celibate 3 years, lovely home, 15 stone (not good), motivated, happy, surrounded by so many amazing people, trustworthy, parents proud of me.

I can't believe the difference that 10 years can make, and if someone had told me back then the life I would be living now I would not have believed them.

Any other sharers?

10 years ago I had just bought a house and had a baby.

Now he's 10 (obvs) his sister is 8 and I'm finally getting my career back on track after realising I got left behind (not that I cared until they were both in school)

I've lost some friends and gained some better ones.

In some ways I don't give a stuff what anyone thinks of me which is liberating, in other ways I've had poor mental health and periods of intense stress which have affected me deeply.

10 years ago I was 4 stone overweight and having recently been made redundant was doing a job I hated, away from my family 4 days a week.

Now I have a job I love, I wfh (pre covid), I'm the fittest and healthiest I've ever been in my life and currently training for an Ironman!

10 years ago I was struggling through my PhD every day thinking I’d throw in the towel because it isn’t worth it all while working as a junior solicitor and pumping breastmilk in my office. Young children but worked too much. Lived in England, was thin and looked so young. Husband did the majority of childcare/parenting. Louboutins were my life! Was very close to my mum.

Now. Live in Australia in the tropical north. I’ve given up work to raise our baby daughter. I do the majorly of parenting while my husband is working and excelling in his career. I’m podgier, look older and yet am happiest I’ve ever been. So close to all our children. Taking the older ones out on their driving lessons each night so they can get in their 100 hours. Play with our little girl all day in the pool or at the beach. I spend 95% of my days barefoot and do not own a single pair of louboutins! Sadly, mum is no longer with us.

10 years ago I was married to a wonderful man and had a three year old and a six month old. We were in the middle of an extension so there were some minor stresses but we were so happy together.

The following year DH was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He died.

Now I have a 13 year old with such significant problems at home and at school that I regularly feel suicidal due to his behaviour. The older he gets the worse it gets. He needs his father, and so do I (and poor DD). I have no hope for the future and I can’t believe the charmed life I once had.

10 yrs ago: very thin, extremely confident to the point of sometimes being called aggressive and ruthless, high-flying in a glamourous career, doing well in an equally glamourous hobby, very sharp-minded and sharp-tongued, never forgot anything. Constantly pestered with job offers, wardrobe full of expensive clothes bought on a whim and rarely worn. Wasn’t scared of anything.

Today: housewife, 3 stone heavier, very hairy chin, scarred from various operations, drifting in a bubble of adoration for my children / bewilderment at everything else, wild hormonal mood swings, zero confidence (can’t imagine holding down even an admin job now), somewhat shy, no memory to speak of, live in food-stained tracksuits, (given away all the posh clothes as they’re several sizes too small), totally absent-minded, directionless, apathetic.

I remember being that other person, but I don’t feel like the same person. I’m not even sure which person I’d rather be. It’s so strange…

Gosh, well done OP. Yes, you can become a totally different person in ten years!!

OP, if you have graduation coming up I hope you have a brilliant time. Such an achievement. All the best with your Masters

10 years ago I only had 2 children (now 3). I had only recently started a new job and hated. 10 years on I bitterly regret leaving the place (2 years ago) had no idea when I'd ever be able to move to a bigger house, have now achieved that but struggling to afford it post pandemic. was very much slimmer. I was also quite unfit. Now I'm super unfit and over 15 stone but in the 20 years between had at one point been my fittest ever (marathon fit)

If it wasn't for the pandemic my 10 years later would be more uplifting! I'd still be fat and unfit though!

My greatest achievement from the last 10 years is child no. 3 now 8 years old. Light of my life!

I know its not really the point of the thread, but I can relate to you on this, and it is within the '10 year' thing... I also have DC 18, and I am dreading them leaving. Try so hard not to show it. I know its going to be hard for me, so I feel your worry. X

10 years ago, I and toddler DS had moved to our new house, having left ex. New job for me, new school place allocated for ds, Generally happy if slightly threadbare time. Lots of time spent sitting on the floor with paint cards and a glass of wine.

Today, still in the same house, ds is nearly 14, just chosen his gcses and I've been in a job I enjoy for the last year. Life is good.

Then Working full time whilst dealing with teenage angst, in a large house that needed cleaning and had a mortgage.

Now I'm retired, DH is part time, dc are grown up, working and living independently. Mortgage free. We've downsized and have a rental property. Life is calm and we have more disposable income, tons of time to go to the gym, lots of adult holidays. Lost a few people over those 10 years though😓

10 years ago I could sit down on the ground without a second thought. And get back up again.

Now I think "Can I really get down there? Will I be able to get back up?" The answer to both is still yes and yes, but the fact that I have to think about it is the change.

However, on the plus side I have now retired so when I get up in the morning the day is my own to do whatever I like. That is a big plus.

10 years ago today I let people know I intended to marry my now husband. There was no proposal, we just always knew and decided on this day to share the news. A very happy day.
I then got married 5 months later, had 3 children.
We are now in our second house, with an 8, 6 and 4 year old. We live in the countryside, not the city we left.
10 years ago I was effectively (legally) single, living in the city. I holidayed all over the world. Now I have 3 primary aged kids, a job and house I love.

10 years ago my children were all in their teens ..I was the driving force going to parents evening and supporting them all with their A level / GCSE …husband very disassociated TBh !!
Now still supporting my kids mentally…..but in a good way .
OP my daughter is also now doing her MA in social work…hope you are coping ok …it’s really tough but she is enjoying the challenge with her own toddler to consider 💐💐

10 years ago I was on my way to being my lowest-ever adult weight (never to be seen again). I was teaching a class that I absolutely hated, complete with parents who were just awful and essentially bullied me. I had, however, just bought my first flat and loved it. I was in a long-term relationship that had its ups and downs. I still lived in hope of having a proposal.

These days, I'm the fattest I've ever been. I'm in a job I don't like, although it's less stressful. I'm living happily in the house I own. It took some years, but eventually I got married, although the relationship still has its ups and downs.

Happier, healthier, fatter , living in a different country, dream job. , Little stress. Sooooo different to when I lived in the UK

Omg OP you should be so proud of yourself!

Ten years ago I was living with a deadbeat ex feeling unhappy and nearing splitting up with him. Not really started my career. Not many friends I could call on. Unclear on my path in life.

Now I have a good career, a bf and a dog, money in the bank, lots of very close friends and good relationships with family members.

Thank you for this thread. Definitely good for thought!

Exactly the same life, just fatter (lockdown and menopause). No changes at all. None.

Ten years ago I was in a job I loved, now I am disabled and retired early and worse still my DD died eight years ago.

10 years ago I was just starting out in my career in London, had been with my boyfriend for 2 years and was renting a flat with a friend in Clapham. Now I am married to that man, we have two beautiful children and live in Asia, where we have been for several years. I am in the same job but different company and now manage a small team.

10 years ago I was going through a court case for sexual assault. That time in my life almost broke me - having to defend myself against someone that had done it before.

He got off with it (power can do that I guess). I had to rebuild myself, my self esteem and confidence. I was a couple of days away from handing back the keys to my house to the bank. I was offered a temp role the same week I was going to give up on my house. That was the lifeline I needed.

About that time I was diagnosed with an auto immune condition that took some hell on earth to learn to manage.

A couple of months later I was offered another job - a temp role but ended up permanent. My DH and I sold our house and moved to a bigger place and ten years on, I am still in the same job - very happy, I have my auto immune condition managed and under control, I have my car which I have paid off the loan for.

I am studying a language, trying to get fit and I have developed a confidence which has enabled me to never ever let anyone talk to me like shit again. I will shut them down and walk away.

But most of all, I have learned that I am strong enough to stand up for me, for other women and to do what is right and say my piece. You can't 'un-ring' the bell and no matter what hell I went through that day, I can hold my head high and say that he did not get away with it - not with me anyway.

Ten years on - I am so much stronger in so many ways and I am appreciative that things can change in a second - for better or for worse and whatever happens moving forward, I will get through it.

10 years ago: just started uni, lots of issues that meant I struggled with adulthood in general and knowing who I was. No wild behaviour but no real friends/struggling with relationships/life stuff.

Today: literally today, in a luxury hotel in Dubai with my husband! Diagnosed autistic which helped me work out what I wanted to do, get a great job, buy a house, meet my lovely husband. I have a passion for travel but being able to move from budget travel to luxury is so much easier for me as an autistic person so we spend our annual leave jetting offb I have these little moments where we do something like sit and enjoy a nice meal and think “how did this become my life” and just appreciate everything we have. It’s beyond the wildest dreams of teenage me and even if we don’t live this life forever, I will forever be grateful!

10 years ago I was 28 and DH and I (and our first dog) were living in a big regional city. We had a great time, but I was lonely there and didnt have many friends at all. We owned a great flat - our first - and a campervan too. We went to Cornwall and the SW in the van every chance we got and loved the lifestyle. Spending time in pretty little market towns made us realise how much we wanted to live in one some day.
I was laying the foundations in my career.

Now, I'm 38. DH and I have relocated to a little market town, as was our dream! We live in a large house that I could never have imagined owning 10 years ago. We are on dog number 2. We have really lovely local friends and I'm not lonely anymore. I've developed a real passion for the outdoors and spend as much time as I can running, hiking, cycling and mountain biking. As such, I'm the fittest I've ever been. I'm still in the same career, but further up the ladder.

These are so interesting. I’m really sorry to hear about those who have been impacted by the loss of someone important though.

10 years ago, I was 25, had been with my boyfriend a year. I was an accountant, wore suits and high heels every day, lived in a city centre flat and thought I’d probably settle down and have lots of children but live in the centre forever. I lived in cocktail bars and nightclubs and was slim, but very lethargic and unhealthy. If I wasn’t working, I was ‘out, out’.

I thought I knew it all…10 years on, I now realise I know nothing! 😂

I’ve been a primary teacher for 8 years. I adore my change of career, I have found something that I’m good at and have a lot of enthusiasm for. I’m married to the boyfriend and we have decided we don’t want children, we have a very nice life and home together in suburbia. My lifestyle caught up with me at some point and I ended up nearly three stone overweight and I made some big changes. I watched my dad die from several horrible illnesses and it has changed my outlook on life in many ways. I rarely drink or go ‘out, out’ these days, 10pm is bedtime. I’m heavily into sport and fitness now and do all sorts of ‘hobbies’. I run or cycle daily and eat really well. I really appreciate my good health and care about maintaining it.

Overall, I am a lot less concerned about what others think of me, I’m content, have really mellowed in temperament, and care much more about others. I’m often surprised at the person I have turned into.

What a mixed bag of experiences. Well done to the OP and others who have turned their lives around. So sorry to others whose lives have made a turn for the worse.

Ten years ago I was 47, DC were 9 and 12 and I was loving life as a P/T Teaching Assistant.

Ten years later I'm 57, 3 stone heavier, (gained during a PGCE which I hated but was pressured into 'using my brain' and training to be a teacher rather than be 'just' a TA). Unfortunately coincided with menopause so I can't seem to shift it.

Now I am in a routine, entry level, admin job and love it. I know that I don't enjoy challenge or extra responsibility and am confident enough to say so.

DC are both at Uni, DD has just gone, so DH and I are learning to be just a couple again and are actually enjoying it.

Hopefully, ten years in the future we will be starting retirement and having another life change.