To ask you to compare yourself from now to ten years ago?

[arizonacardinal]

10 years ago: I was jobless (couldn't hold down a job), no qualifications, drug taking, drinking, partying, having lotssss of unprotected sex, caught drunk driving, homeless, crashed car, 7.5 stone, no motivation, angry, aggressive, frustrated, depressed, alone, untrustworthy, parents crying all the time.

Today: 4th year uni, about to start my masters in social work, clean from all drugs, much rather stay at home with my daughter and animals on a weekend, new car, celibate 3 years, lovely home, 15 stone (not good), motivated, happy, surrounded by so many amazing people, trustworthy, parents proud of me.

I can't believe the difference that 10 years can make, and if someone had told me back then the life I would be living now I would not have believed them.

Any other sharers?

10 years ago: Pregnant and about to pop with DS (put on about 3 stone), unable to find work, in a coercive and emotionally abusive relationship where I felt I would be trapped for the rest of my life, reliant on my Dad for lifts/public transport.

Now: 7 years out of the abusive relationship, lost a load of weight, quit smoking, I passed my driving test in March and have a car now. Been in my job for 6.5 years.

Ten years ago: I had a pimp, I was out all night being taken to service anything from 2-10 men every night, I was addicted to cocaine and sleeping pills (it would soon be crack and heroin) and weighed 8 stone at nearly six feet tall. I had a flat that I was about to lose, hadn't eaten in over a week, and hadn't spoken to family in years.

Today: I'm clean and sober, living in a council flat, I've got a job, I've got my daughter and my little dog, I'm in daily contact with my dad and my siblings and I might be considerably fatter but I'm very very happy, and I look much better!

10 years ago. Young, in a good job, no kids, travelling the world.

Now, poorly paid job, 2 dcs and married.

You are a superhero in my opinion. Strong, resilient and you should be so proud of yourself for not only surviving but thriving 🌈

Ten years ago I was 18.
I had just started in an abusive relationship (wasn't obviously aware of that at first)
I was jobless

Now:
I have 4 children who are wonderful but hasn't been without difficulties.
I'm still jobless
I'm the heaviest weight I've ever been
I'm depressed

I really haven't achieved anything besides having children

10 years ago I was depressed, suicidal and had very disturbing thoughts intruding into my headspace. A family member who was a mental health specialist who I thought would help me labelled me dangerous and kindly warned my Mum of this fact. I was diagnosed with a physical medical condition which I got treatment for and my depression lifted. I am on hormone replacement now for the rest of my life. I also found out that fast onset deep depression with suicidal thoughts is a well known symptom of this physical medical condition. I can’t I visit the dark places my mind took me too but I do have tools I can use to help me should I find myself going there again. The family member who labelled me dangerous is no longer in my life. My Mum is still in my life.

10 years ago I was slim, felt sexy, and had lots of great sex with DH. All my kids were at home.
Now I hardly see my kids, I’m overweight, sleep in separate rooms, and feel out of place a lot.

Ten years ago had 2 children was in a professional job that I never thought I'd leave, I enjoyed it but not much money but okay. Not very confident of my abilities, quite emotionally unstable and often anxious, hadn't explored the emotional effect of my childhood.
About 7kg lighter than now.

Today I've got 3 children had two completely different jobs. I've studied twice including a masters which I never thought I'd be capable of when I was younger.
Unfortunately switching jobs and have a child has left me heavier.
I'm much more confident including doing public speaking. Emotionally mostly stable and not anxious although will always carry the legacy of childhood.
I'm running a successful SME that post pandemic will turnover at least 15m, I hope!

The only thing that has changed is I am now in a relationship. Still the only parent in my kids lives, still in the same job, still in the same home and still have the same friends etc. Also around the same size!!!

10 yrs ago I was at the top of my career earning a lot of money.
Now I am at the bottom round , warm very little. But spend my evenings on the beach or having a beer instead of being stressed and woimh all night

This. Me too.

Ten years ago I was in my first graduate job having recently graduated as a mature student. I was also doing a PGCE part time. Three DCs under 8. The transition from FT student to FT long hours with a massive commute was a grind but we had more money for holidays, cleaner etc. DH was working permanent nights and had just reduced his hours to be around for the kids more so somehow we managed the school day and holidays between us. We must have been so physically busy compared to us now.

Now I'm busier at work and have a lot more mental load, working 50h plus commute. Different worries with the DCs, the 4-8 years really were golden years and they were just so happy. Now late teens and a lot of stress. We've moved house twice, from rented into our own home.
Career wise I've had four promotions, and competed my postgrad. I'm earning 3x my salary 10 y ago. DH has unfortunately not shifted much and still LTFT. His life is very nice with lots of free time for hobbies etc. I'm only mildly resentful.
I have some new health concerns and am feeling my age.

10 Years Ago

Just received a terrifying diagnosis of a medical condition
Moved to another region to be with my abuser
Given up job, financial independence, hundreds of miles from friends and family
Started a masters course that wasn't right for me but was very interesting experience (didn't finish it)

Now

Medical condition excellently managed
Back close to my home region and back to my career- progressed fairly well
Financially secure, own a home with lovely "new" DP (6 years together)
Delightful DC

So grateful.

It's nice reading about people who have completely turned around their lives. I am much worse off than 10 years ago- severe illness in the family, difficult menopause, awful work stress, job loss- but hoping I will be ok 10 years from now.

Really the most difficult thing is that my DC were happy back then at 11 and 8 but the pandemic brought so many challenges for teens and young adults. Still not recovered.

Wow what a great thread. So sorry for all those who have been bereaved and for those whose life has taken a turn for the worst.

Well done to all those who have turned things around -I am in awe of you all

10 years ago - 21 and recovering from cancer, confidence shattered, struggling with inlaws and people who couldn't relate to my experience. In a new job which I couldn't focus on. Felt awfully lost and like my life was at a standstill

Now - two beautiful kids, homeowner, found my confidence after going through therapy, still married to wonderful dh and don't let the inlaws bother me now. In the same job (promoted twice) but about to hand my notice in! Sadly some chronic health issues post cancer so taking some time for Me whilst raising my kids and hopefully finding myself again

10 years ago I was 17, living with my parents in the Rhondda valleys. Mam was extremely emotionally abusive with some physical abuse thrown in and the whole house walked on eggshells. I was still In school and due to my people pleasing was in some pretty toxic friendships. I was using alcohol to cope (which later turned to strong painkillers) and was obsessed with going to uni and getting out. I lived in a lot of fear, I Blamed myself and hated myself. I had hope for the future but I don't think I ever believed I'd get there.

I'm 27 now, I'm clean and have been clean off all drugs and alcohol for 5months. I live In Wolverhampton, in a shared house, where I can lock my door, breathe, and not live in fear. I work in probation and I'm building my finances up. I have good friends, amazing people, I feel comfier and happier in myself. I'm beginning to heal. I'm active within NA. Tomorrow I'm going out for a meal with friends and Sunday I'm going to my sponsors for her toddlers birthday. I'm content

10 years ago,god that seems a lifetime ago. Ds was 12,dd 9. Had a stable happy job in a school. Since then ds has attempted suicide,twice. Gone through hell with his mental health. He finishes uni this year and has moments of meltdown, but has done incredibly well. Dd just about to start uni in September. Got made redundant from happy job, 6 years ago,set up my own business after redundancy, that went tits up due to lockdowns. I am really happy, my dc are happy,partner is happy. Don't see the point on wallowing on the bad times . Taken me a bit of time to get where i am.

10 years ago: Moved to London (with a large amount of boxes) as a mature student to attend grad school. I was previously living in the US and had what some would call a glamorous career but it was also quite demanding and stressful. I was a workaholic and my work and social calendar was jam packed. I didn’t make the effort to travel as much as I would have liked to. I was over worked, over scheduled, exhausted and unhappy. I was single with no kids. I ended a relationship with someone who was emotionally unavailable and didn’t want to be in a committed relationship with me.

Now: Still living in the U.K.. I finished my master's degree, graduated with a distinction and found a job that sponsored my visa. I dated around and eventually met the love of my life, got married and had two lovely kids. Bought a house in suburbs. Decluttered wardrobe and things and now I maintain a more minimalist lifestyle. I live off of a capsule wardrobe now and my schedule is more intentional, simpler and streamlined. I’m still doing what I love but at a freelance capacity so I can work from home and it works well with the kids’ schedules. I have traveled to majority of places on my wish list and look forward to planning more trips. Life is still manic juggling it all but I have a much better work life balance than I did in the past and I’m happy and so grateful for everything. Applying for my British citizenship soon and will be studying for my drivers license.

Ten years ago - I had DS, but DD hadn't yet been born. Ok relationship but found out he had a gambling problem. I had a part-time job, didn't earn much, wasn't stretching myself.

Now - I have grown into myself. Former partner sadly passed away. It's been tough. I am married to my wonderful DH. DS11, DD9, DSD8. I love my job. Bought a house and moved across the country.